“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #3: A Parent Who Tries to Change Minds and Hearts Through Spanking

by LatebloomerThis is part of a series of posts reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips". Read the introduction here. Read criticism #1 here. Read criticism #2 here.To briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  My second criticism looked at the extreme level of control that parents are urged to have over their child's mind and body, which can prevent the child from maturing and can put the parent at risk of developing abusive habits.  Now here is my third criticism.Criticism #3: … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 26

by MillipedeI stood there looking at my ex turned "roommate".  By either title, I would be stuck with his problems. Winter and all it's problems loomed ahead. For some reason, I thought of the book,The Shinning. The description of Danny's thoughts as he realizes that the hotel is haunted and that he and his family will be stuck there all Winter. In vain, he hopes that the evil that resides in the hotel will leave him alone, but deep down he knows better.Here I was facing, the same dilemma; should I do something or should I try to stay and hope for the best. Moving out on such a short notice, how could I even manage it. Short of moving in with my sister and her husband, sharing a … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #2: An Extremely Controlling Parent

by LatebloomerTo briefly review, my first criticism of Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" discussed the way his advice pushed parents toward the worst possible interpretation of their child's behavior at the expense of mercy and understanding.  Now here is my second criticism.Criticism #2:   Parents are urged to exercise an extreme level of control of their child's mind and body, which prevents the child from preparing for adulthood.  Reb Bradley is very straightforward about what he considers the primary task of a parent.  Several times throughout the book, he reminds parents that their goal is to subdue their child's will: "keep your objective in mind - subjection of the … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst

by LatebloomerThe task of reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" has been a lot more challenging than I expected.  First of all, where do I start when I disagree with almost every sentence that this book contains?  I can find almost no common ground on which to begin.  And how can I explain my reasons for disagreement when the very things that I see as horrifying are held up as admirable goals by the author?Because of these difficulties, I have decided that these posts will simply be a way for Present Me to explain to Past Me that this so-called "Biblical" parenting is damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of au … [Read more...]

Before There Was Me: Part 2

by MariBefore we go any further in my story, we must introduce the church.My parents attended a church called Meadow Ridge Bible Chapel (henceforth known as “chapel”) in West Fargo, North Dakota. I’m not familiar with the history of this church, nor with which (if any) denomination the church is affiliated.By the time I came along, chapel was located in a very nice building in West Fargo. When you arrived, you would walk into a lobby area that had restrooms and a coat room. Then you would walk through beautiful double doors into the chapel area. The chapel was square with a bookstore and a nursing moms’ room in the back. Also along the back wall was a bookcase with stacks of hymna … [Read more...]

News Links September 5, 2012

Sometimes churches need to be reminded that if they campaign for a certain party or candidate they put their tax exempt status at risk - ChicoER - Editorial: Church runs afoul of rulesThere's an interesting article by Jenny Rae Armstrong over at Red Letter Christians about Patriarchy, Pop Culture, and PornograpyThoughts on handling a large family after leaving Quiverfull Patriarch world far behind. Recovering from Religion - When the Grass Looks Greener Elsewhere- Be Sure the Fertilizer Works in Your Yard!And for anyone that needs a reminder of poisonous and destructive Patriarchy and Quiverfull beliefs can be just one quick read through the Duggar-approved 7 Basic Needs of a … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 25

by MillipedeThings settled down. My ex took the breakup in stride. We both talked about remaining friends. Now that I didn't have to be his caretaker/servant/mom (what a strange combo) I felt better. No longer was dread a daily companion, I was free from all of that.We both did the "let's stay friends" bit. It seemed like that it might work. My ex seemed to have adapted wonderfully to the fact that we were splitting up. He even looked at options whereby he would move out so as to save me the trouble of moving. Things didn't work out, but at least he was being considerate. We got along better, now that the tension was down. I was ready to take my time, save my money for the … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting: Introduction

by LatebloomerEvery once in a while, I realize something shockingly obvious, something that confronts yet another false assumption that has managed to cling to my mind even as I've moved further and further away from my fundamentalist Christian roots.In the whole Bible, there is not a single verse that credits parents for having raised a good child.  Nothing from God, nothing from any adult sons or daughters in the Bible.  Not one word of thanks, not one word of credit.It would be easy to insert a few parental credit verses into the Bible.  Maybe we could add a little phrase here or there in the Old Testament, such as "King David, because of his godly parents," or "Moses, thanks t … [Read more...]

Ann Romney’s Gendered Martyrdom: Women and Children First?

by SierraAnn Romney cooking – you know, like she has to. Because she’s a lady.Credit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.I’m not talking about your credit score or the plastic in your wallet. I’m talking about public accolades. I’m talking about the river of molten gold that comes out of the mouths of people like Ann Romney when describing (what used to be) “women’s work.”Before I go any further, I want to promote an excellent article by Mark Greene at MegaSAHD that challenges the ugly view of masculinity and the outdated, Leave-it-to-Beaver family structure that Ann Romney took for granted in yesterday’s RNC speech. He’s absolutely right: men are capable of so much more than th … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 24 – The Breakup

shattered

by MillipedeThe next day I got up. As I showered and got dressed I thought of the previous night's events. I was tired, a bit worried, but mostly resolved. I was going to have a final talk with my husband; lay the cards on the table concerning our future.The discussion started as others had before with me sharing my concerns about my husband's drinking. Of course, my husband denied that he had a problem and our argument followed the trail. It was clear to me as we argued, that my husband was in his usual denial mode and I knew what that meant for the future. I couldn't not live under that sort of stress. It was time to act.I told my husband that if this was how he felt about the … [Read more...]


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