Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]

How Should Churches Handle Allegations of Abuse?

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserHow should churches handle allegations of abuse? Let me state right up front that I do not think churches shouldn’t “handle” anything.  This is what gets churches, pastors, and church leaders into trouble to start with. Instead of immediately doing the right thing when someone makes an allegation of abuse, pastors and church members often: … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Appropriate Touching?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]

Deadly Submission – Why Guys Like Biblical Gender Roles Matter & the Damage They Cause

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapeETA Monday 11-23-15 Have to admit I was completely wrong on this one. They have arrested three guys for this murder with no apparent connection to Davey Blackburn. Breaking news from Fox 59~~~~~~~~~We've followed Biblical Gender Roles for about six months now. Gasping in shock at some newer more outrageous statement of his, laughed at some of the things coming out of mouth like that disastrous Alan Combs interview he did. But one thing we have not done here at NLQ is realize how his contemptuous words against women in marriage could have serious influence on unhappy husbands and possibly lead to tragic … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: A Tax on Working Mothers?

by Biblical Gender Roles at Biblical Gender Roles.com – Lindsey Graham Says We Need to Import Other Country’s(SIC) ChildrenEditor's note: So this is more from the piece we quoted last week involving Lindsay Graham saying we would need to import workers to offset the coming large number of baby boomers retiring. In this part BGR's wants the government and our tax system to reward Quiverfull families with lots of children and stay at home mothers, while penalizing any mother with children that does dare to work outside of the home. There's nothing taking into account the fact that for many families, even those where the mother would like to stay home with the children or feels massive gui … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Upside Down World – LAF Now Claiming Unwed Pregnancies Not Sinful?

by Chad Ashby as quoted by Ladies Against Feminism - Brothers and Sisters, Unwed Pregnancy is Not a SinEditor's note: While I agree with Ashby that there should not be blaming, shaming or condemnation when someone turns up pregnant out of wedlock it's  not been my experience that places like PRCs or even the pages of LAF are very safe places. This is exactly the kind of ridiculous hypocrisy that the world looks down upon in the churches, saying one thing, doing exactly the opposite.  Even the places that treat unwed expectant mothers well tend to turn and blame them the moment the baby is born and the mother attempts to sign up for any social network benefits. You cannot have it both w … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 4 – Have Your Babies In Your Teens?

by Biblical Gender Roles from Biblical Gender Roles.com - Women's Ovaries Don't Agree With FeminismEditor's note: Clearly BGR, or as NLQ SASBN member Bruce Gerencser likes to call him Coward Behind The Screen CBtS, believes the same false logic as Nancy Campbell that our world is under populated and some big disaster will happen unless we all have huge families of many children. That's not so, this is another lie that fundamentalist quiverfull Christians believe that has no scientific basis in fact. … [Read more...]

Answer to my Critics: My Childhood Opened My Eyes

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous Circumspection Editor's note: Some translations here. Billy Boy G is Bill Gothard, Swine Beads are Michael and Debi Pearl and Ezzo-kimos are followers of Gary Ezzo. Trigger warnings for descriptions of child abuse.Recently, I was accused of only speaking out against Billy Boy G. and his patriarchal ilk because I have a vendetta against my life as a child.  While I do not disagree that half of my childhood was pure torture, I vehemently disagree with that accusation.Here's a summing up of my childhood: … [Read more...]

What To Do About Toxic Power In Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDear friends,What can a woman do if she realizes that she is in a controlling, manipulative, intimidating, verbally aggressive, and/or physically violent marriage?Two months ago I wrote a post called Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage which gave an analysis of the problem. I based it on concepts found in The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. At the end, I promised a follow up post with suggestions on what she can do. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Panic Attacks Happen Because You Don’t Trust God?

by Savabrown14 from Loved By I Am - An Anxious HeartEditor's note: This is much the same as the poison being spread by Tim LaHaye in his book "How To Win Over Depression" that SASBN member Samantha Field was reviewing. Instead of admitting or realizing that anxiety, fear and panic can happen because of circumstances or even the chemical load in your own brain and getting professional help dealing with your feelings it's always 'You are not trusting God.' Yeah I am, I'm trusting God created psychologists and therapists plus medicine if it's needed. How is that wrong? … [Read more...]


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