The Marriage Benefits of Leaving Fundamentalism

by LatebloomerIf I had stayed within the constraints of fundamentalism and Christian Patriarchy, my husband and I would absolutely not be happily married today. Our relationship from the very beginning consisted of many departures from the teachings I grew up with. Each of those departures furthered the development, health, and mutual happiness of our relationship.The first departure: As a single woman, I moved out of my parents' home to get a college education. What is a completely ordinary step for many North American women was a desperate and terrifying leap for me. My family's homeschooling church, led by Reb Bradley, promoted a very restrictive view of gender roles along with a … [Read more...]

Revisiting NLQ FAQ: Should There Be a “You” in Quivering?

What “Deny Yourself” Means – and Doesn’t Mean by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer The founders of No Longer Qivering spelled “Quivering” without a “u“ because, as they say, “There is no ‘you’ in Quivering” – there’s no place for self - and they claim this is a bad thing. But Jesus said that a true believer must deny himself, take up his cross and follow after Him. Quiverfull women take the Bible’s admonition to die to self very seriously. We use the acronym J.O.Y., for true JOY comes from putting “Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last.” How can you encourage Christian wives and mothers to turn from Christ’s teachings by making “You” a priority?The problem with the way Quiverf … [Read more...]

Gloating and Slander: Michael Pearl, Nancy Ann Wilson and Christian Fundamentalist Responses to Criticism

by Sierra(Editor's note: Many of our NLQ writers have sounded off on this situation. To see more visit Libby Anne, and Incongruous Circumspection. There are others who've also written of what happened that are worth checking out - Rachel Held Evans, The Friendly Atheist, Sarah Over The Moon,  Dianna Anderson, and Are Women Human.)Femina has been lighting up like a Christmas tree since The Gospel Coalition blog post that threw Doug Wilson into the spotlight for arguing that egalitarian sexual relationships were unnatural and that if “authority and submission” aren’t honored in sex, men turn to rape to fulfill their animal urges.Now Wilson’s wife, Nancy Ann, has joined the fray: 10 … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 5

by Cindy FosterTHE SHUNNINGThis ‘discipline‘ as it turned out was not discipline at all, but punishment which had the appearance of one acting to satisfy his wrath against those who resisted or opposed him. He actually commanded the whole church to SHUN these young people for varying periods of time from 2 weeks to 6 weeks according to the severity of their ‘crimes’. There was only one given 6 weeks, and that was for making the statement about his not disciplining them unless he disciplined the others. This he said was the worst offense of all because that person was, “Making an accusation against a pastor without witnesses”. This person was also suspended from coming to church a … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 10

by CaluluIt seemed like the conferences and teachings were helping Tom even if he was still having his moments of weirdness and dysfunction.And then my darling husband started skipping our church's Sunday School to attend the early service at a big mainstream denomination before coming for to our church for our service. The questions started. I didn't quite know how to answer them because I didn't quite know exactly what was going on in my husband's mind. I knew he was unhappy with our church and visiting the denomination he'd been raised in was comforting to him, like going to the Catholic Charismatic services were to me when I visited down home in Louisiana. But I didn't really … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 11

by MillipedeEverything seemed to be righting itself, it was tough, but we were on our way. Things would be tight and they were somewhat different now. Seeing how my husband acted after losing his job had really struck a blow to our relationship. I had always known that my husband could be lazy and not given to "worrying about money". However, I had always thought that when the stakes were really high that even he would come through. Seeing how my husband reacted to his job loss changed all of that.The few attempts at even looking for a job ( two tries) and then sitting back and just being content to sell things until he ran out. I thought of all the sit down jobs for those with little … [Read more...]

Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood

by LatebloomerWhen I look at my little toddler, I am so glad that I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian.First, I don't believe in total depravity anymore, so I don't feel compelled to interpret his actions with negative terminology. The doctrine of total depravity is a common belief among fundamentalists.  It teaches that every person is born with a sin nature, separated from God, and capable of the worst kinds of evil.  It also says that proper parenting can mitigate the effects of the sin nature, but only a relationship with Jesus can make a person capable of true goodness.If I believed that my child had a sin nature that predisposed him to evil, that would c … [Read more...]

Why Quiverfull Moms Do Not and Cannot Love Their Bodies

This is a repost from 2009. An excellent piece written by Vyckie  that talks about how many QF moms think about their bodies after years of birthing. Worth revisiting now. Thanks Tapati for the reminder of what a powerful piece this is.by VyckieI beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. (Romans 12:1)For the past week and a half, NLQ has been presenting the excellent material in Tapati’s Body Image Workshop.  As I’ve read through the posts and all the related comments on the NLQ forum, I’ve been thinking about how the Body Image issue is incredibly r … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 10

by MillipedeIn face of these events, I found work. Once I overcame my husband's reluctance to enter the workforce, he seemed to accept the situation. He drove me to pick up applications. He still held to his Patriarchal beliefs, but in light of our situation, he got over issue of my returning to the workplace.Things went smoothly for a couple of months and then came the phone call. My sister in law who lived at our previous residence called. She had received a notice for my husband to appear in civil court. It was an old medical bill from years back. This wasn't exactly a novel experience. In the last year that my husband was working, we had almost been sued over a smaller bill. … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]