Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd “There are two kinds of power. One kills the spirit. The other nourishes the spirit. The first is Power Over. The other is Personal Power. Power Over shows up as control and dominance. Personal Power shows up as mutuality and co-creation. Mutuality is a way of being with a person which promotes the growth and well-being of one's self and the other person by means of clear communication and empathetic understanding. Co-creation is a consciously shared participation in life which helps one reach one's goals.” … [Read more...]

Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]

Deadly Submission – Why Guys Like Biblical Gender Roles Matter & the Damage They Cause

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapeETA Monday 11-23-15 Have to admit I was completely wrong on this one. They have arrested three guys for this murder with no apparent connection to Davey Blackburn. Breaking news from Fox 59~~~~~~~~~We've followed Biblical Gender Roles for about six months now. Gasping in shock at some newer more outrageous statement of his, laughed at some of the things coming out of mouth like that disastrous Alan Combs interview he did. But one thing we have not done here at NLQ is realize how his contemptuous words against women in marriage could have serious influence on unhappy husbands and possibly lead to tragic … [Read more...]

Answer to my Critics: My Childhood Opened My Eyes

by Joe Sands cross posted from his blog Incongruous Circumspection Editor's note: Some translations here. Billy Boy G is Bill Gothard, Swine Beads are Michael and Debi Pearl and Ezzo-kimos are followers of Gary Ezzo. Trigger warnings for descriptions of child abuse.Recently, I was accused of only speaking out against Billy Boy G. and his patriarchal ilk because I have a vendetta against my life as a child.  While I do not disagree that half of my childhood was pure torture, I vehemently disagree with that accusation.Here's a summing up of my childhood: … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Your Husbands Obsessions?

by Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy - Obsessions Editor's note: We'll be sharing this article in bits and pieces over the next few days since so much of it is so sheerly awful. It's one of the clearest examples of an over bearing husband's crummy behavior in the world of Christian Patriarch Movement and is rife with abusive behavior and explaining/minimizing that same behavior. Today Debi explains about Michael's hunting of those wascally wabbits and what happened in the aftermath of his hunting she had to deal with. … [Read more...]

Mary Pride denies founding the Quiverfull movement?

by Vyckie Garrison (Editor's Note: This was originally published on NLQ back around three or four years ago. Sharing again as it seems appropriate in light of our recent discussions about Mary Pride)A couple months back, I received an email from Mary Pride -- apparently, she's feeling the pressure since Frank Schaeffer mentioned her in his latest book, Sex, Mom & God, and has been talking in various interviews about her role in founding the Quiverfull and Christian Patriarchy movements with her book, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism and Back to Reality.If you Google "Mary Pride" -- NLQ comes up 4th on the results page -- I'm guessing that's how she ended up emailing me: … [Read more...]

What is the Bravest Thing You’ve Ever Done?

by AJ cross posted from her blog I am PhoenixThe bravest thing I have done so far in my life has been allowing myself to feel.I was able to make it as far as I did  in life appearing on the outside to be normal and functional because I buried the past. Completely. I didn't talk about it to anyone, and I didn't acknowledge it to myself.Being numb to it was the only way I could survive. I purposely hung around with people who didn't talk about feelings or emotional things. I buried who I was, even if it meant I also had to bury my intuition, my creativity, my feelings, my empathy, and any form of introspection. … [Read more...]

News: Jack Schaap Trying To Squirm Out Of Sentence

Now Jack Schaap is claiming that he was improperly represented by his legal staff at his trial for violation of the Mann Act and sex with an underaged girl. Schaap is claiming his attorneys promised him a sentence of no more than ten years, yet the judge gave him twelve years. It was fully within the rights of the judge to decide the length of the sentence regardless of what prosecutors  or defense team members asked for as a sentence. … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be A Help Meet – Debi and Michael’s Love Story Part One

by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids CollideTo be clear, Debi and Michael's story is NOT a love story.  There is precious little love involved and a whole heap of red flags.I had just turned thirteen when I first saw him and knew, just simply knew, he was my man.  If he had glanced over and been able to read my mind he would have surely laughed.  (...)The whole community had been talking about the famous, young preacher who had been invited to speak at First Baptist Church's Teen Retreat.  (...) My young mind quickly assessed him.  He seemed bigger than life, a super, in charge type of man. I guessed he must have been at least 21 years old. (...) … [Read more...]

News: Utah Modesty Police Photoshop Yearbook Photos

from Michael Stone at his blog Progressive Secular Humanist - American Taliban: Utah Modesty Police Edit Girls' Yearbook PhotosEditorial note: This has been all over the media the last few days. Apparently  Good Christians/Mormons (tm) decided that tank tops and bra straps were the big No-No and decided to keep Utah boys pure of lustful thoughts by photoshopping (badly) sleeves onto shirts covering shoulders and bra straps. More slut-shaming in this modesty standard that wasn't even applied consistently.Modesty standards and slut shaming isn't just for Biblical Patriarches, Minthegap's Adam Gregorin and church busybodies any more. … [Read more...]