NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

Biology 101 Anyone?

jawdrop

by CaluluWhen I first read the headline this weekend I was incredulous. I sat there dumb founded just staring at the screen, not believing what I was reading, this newest cannon volley that is the  war on women and women's reproductive rights. Sadly it wasn't a joke.This is what I saw - Republican Senate Nominee: Victims of 'Legitimate Rape' Don't Get PregnantSurely even the most scantily educated people in this country wouldn't fall for such an obvious falsehood. Or at least anyone that's taken basic biology at the high school level would know this was simply not true. Our bodies are no different than other mammals in that respect. Conception happens if the conditions are right … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 22

by MillipedeAmidst all the craziness with the alcohol, there was yet another worrying development which had crept up.As I mentioned before, my marriage had developed two fronts;one being my husband's self destructive propensities and the second which came later, that being his embrace of religious Patriarchy. The booze crisis came in with a flash, but that didn't mean that trouble wasn't brewing on the ol' Patriarchy front.Despite his new alcohol problem, my husband remained devoutly involved with the church. It was bitterly ironic and a testament to his hypocrisy, but it didn't stop my husband. In fact, I noticed the return of an old attitude, the one where he was lord over the … [Read more...]

My mom is going back to school!

by Sierra(Editors note: Thank you NLQ readership for your part in making this happen! )Some of you may remember this post, in which I described the frustration of discovering that a clerical error had cost my mom her chance to go back to school for her bachelor’s degree. Leaving for school and realizing that my mother would not be able to get her degree felt a lot like survivor’s guilt. I was the only one on a clear path out of poverty. She threw her support behind me, and I did the only thing I could do: studied hard to make it up to her.Now, years later, a stubborn daughter, a website, a loan and a very generous group of donors have changed the tide. My mother is going back to s … [Read more...]

The Emotional and Psychological Consequences of Authoritarian Religion

by Bruce Gerencser(Cross posted from Bruce's blog The Way Forward)Over the past few years I have met countless people who have escaped authoritarian religions like the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement or your every day garden variety Evangelical church. Authoritarian ecclesiastical structures and authoritarian pastors dominate the lives of those who come under their spell.Most authoritarian churches believe God ordained a chain of command, not only in the church but in the home. These churches almost always practice complementarianism.Wikipedia defines complementarianism as: A theological view held by some in Christianity and other world … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 21

heart

by MillipedeThat summer was a mixture of hope, stress and worry.After the first post seizure drinking episodes, my husband admitted that he needed to watch what he drank. He downplayed the symptoms, but even he had to admit that he never used to nod off when he drank. Also the paramedics, the emergency room doctors and finally the neurologist; all of them had pointed to alcohol consumption as a trigger for his seizure. As usual my husband minimized the problem quick to point out that there were other things that could trigger a seizure, but he did say would make some changes concerning how and what he would drink.They say a fire burns brightest right before it extinguishes … [Read more...]

“Don’t Talk About It”

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by Kristen Rosser(Cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's Words)I was in college, living in an ex-fraternity house made over into a Christian boarding house for members of Maranatha Campus Ministries.  It was 1983 or 84.The leaders of Maranatha, Bob Weiner and Joe Smith, had come up with another new revelation that they said was from God.  They took their text from John 15:8:"By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples."Bob Weiner and Joe Smith said that by "bearing fruit," Jesus meant "making converts."  This meant, they said, that the more converts to Christ you made, the more you had "proved to be His disciple."  Therefore, t … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: What is Quiverfull?

 By VyckieQ: What is “Quiverfull?”“Quiverfull” is a convenient, though I believe, somewhat unfortunate term which we’re using at No Longer Quivering to describe a family lifestyle which is growing in popularity among evangelical Christians ~ particularly those who home educate their children.Quiverfull ~ is the idea that truly godly families will “trust the Lord” with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings (“As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of ones youth, happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them”) and as such, the couple is willing to have as many children as the Lord chooses to bless them with. Artificia … [Read more...]

Sexuality Project – Introducing Calulu, Jenn, Meggie, Parker, Shadowspring and Vyckie

(Cross posted from Sierra's blog - the phoenix and olive branch)Welcome to another round of the Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project! This time, our writers are Calulu, Jenn, Meggie, Parker, Shadowspring and Vyckie.Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, a conservative Christian women’s ministry leader.Last time, we heard from Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne. If you’re like me, you laughed and wept with them, and I’ve no doubt you will with this group, too. Sexuality is a facet of life that seems to color all kinds of other things, from body image to relationships with our own friends and children. The previous group included people who were … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 20

drinkingalone

by Millipede"Little Bit" "Little Bit" a voice cut through my phone conversation. I told my friend that I would call her back and hung up the phone.I had relished being absolutely lazy on Sunday mornings; sleeping in and than taking it easy. My friend had called just after I had gotten out of the shower and I hadn't had time to really talk to my husband. What,I wondered, could be wrong?I found him trying to put a leash on our pet Rottweiler. She was jumping about, making it difficult to get the leash hooked up. That was business as usual, what caught my attention was the tone of my husband's voice. It sounded like he was drunk! Again, he hollered at Little Bit and this time I … [Read more...]


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