No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario

 by VyckieI *finally* got a chance to get to the theater and watch the new Star Trek ~ and I'll admit that I didn't completely "get it" ~ what are they planning to do now, start the series over with the new James T. Kirk and crew who're now different people due to the alternate reality created by the interference of time travelers?Don't answer that one ~ because this post is not actually about Star Trek. LOLThe movie got me thinking about the popular science fiction theme of no-win scenarios as represented by the Kobayashi Maru training exercise designed by Starfleet to test the character of cadets by creating a situation in which it is impossible to win and the individual must … [Read more...]

We didn't want to be BALANCED

by VyckieMe & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord.Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be "balance" ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we've gone from "one extreme to the other."Part of the reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist mindset get a glimpse inside the world and ~ more significantly ~ the head of one who's been there and done that. So ~ with that goal in mind, let me … [Read more...]

It's about CONVICTION

 by VyckieLaura's got my Happiness! Yesterday I took my 13-year-old daughter, Hazelle (whom I've nicknamed Happy Hazelle or Happiness) to the airport ~ she's spending Spring Break in Seattle with Laura. Fun ;-)Okay ~ I'm commenting on my own post about STRONG WOMEN because I've thought of something else that I wanted to say on this topic.The strength that I had which kept me going was my conviction. I did it because I was so thoroughly convinced that this is what the bible taught and what pleased the Lord. I'd have done anything to please God.The minute that I realized that I no longer believe in God ~ that strength left me and I couldn't do it any more. I lost my motivation. I … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

We mustn't get ANGRY

by Vyckie"Just SMILE, okay?" This photo was taken on my 18th anniversary before church. Warren was in a terrible mood that morning ~ and all I wanted was to get family pictures taken which made us all look like such a happy family. It's like the more unhappy we were, the more determined I was to put on a good face and show the world how exceedingly happy we were. Ack.Okay ~ I'm trying to work on writing the next installment of my story ~ but now I'm distracted with another topic ~ Strong emotions in general ... and ANGER in particular.I started a thread to discuss health issues ~ and almost immediately regretted it because as I've been reading the angry comments from those who feel … [Read more...]

It's about SUPERSTITION

by Vyckie  At the CYIA Spring Retreat ~ all weekend long, I fought the fear that I had just invited disaster upon myself and my children... Laura's story, Three Lilacs and a Statue made me think about another topic which Laura and I have discussed on several occasions ~ so I talked to her about it again and we decided we would write this post together since "superstition" was such a HUGE part of both of our experiences.I'll go first...Vyckie: Part of my "submissive wife" mindset included the belief that unless I had my husband's approval, whatever idea or plan that I had was doomed and I might as well not even bother. The practicality of that belief was complicated by the fact that … [Read more...]

It's about STRONG WOMEN

by Vyckie  My oldest daughter, Angel and my mom, Lou Ann. So many of the visitors who are reading the stories on this blog have left a comment to the affect that, "You & Laura are amazingly strong women."I've actually done some thinking about that ~ and wanted to share a bit of it here.We have been "strong," yes ~ but is that such a good thing? For myself, I finally realized that being so strong enabled me to live a life that was not healthy for me or my children ~ or for my ex-husband for that matter. As long as I could "handle it" ~ I did.Allow me to boast for just a minute about how "strong" I was.I was so "strong" that I bore seven children ~ six of them in eleven years ~ … [Read more...]

QUIVERFULL: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement ~ A Review

by VyckieThe reason I am telling my story now (as opposed to 10 years from now when my kids are grown up and I actually have time to write), is because I came across this article on Alternet and read with interest about the people and the teachings which our family had followed for many years. I was kind of amazed that someone on that liberal news site knew about this movement ~ so I posted a comment on the article ~ and that's how I got in touch with Kathryn Joyce, author of Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement.I pre-ordered the book and as I read it, I kept saying aloud, "I know these people!" All the names were familiar to me ~ Nancy Campbell, Mary Pride, Doug … [Read more...]

It's a KID COLLECTING COMPETITION

by VyckieHazelle with her little lamb collection. When I was "trusting the Lord with our family planning." I never called my children "kids" ~ they were PRECIOUS LAMBS, because as Nancy Campbell explained, "kids" are what neglectful goats have while lambs are the offspring of sheep.A few random thoughts on the topic of having lots of kids:*** Recently I took my children and a neighbor girl to the theater to watch Race to Witch Mountain. Sitting in the dark watching the previews, I noticed a lady coming up the aisle with a whole bunch of kids in tow. Naturally, I started counting. One, two, three ... I wondered if these were all her kids, or did she have some of her children's friends … [Read more...]


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