No-Win Scenario #3 ~ Women can't "have it all" but QF women can do it all

Me ~ Feb. 2007. Too exhausted to get out of bed ~ still, the work had to be done ... There's quite a discussion about feminism going on over on the NLQ forums ~ and it's got me thinking about another no-win situation for Quiverfull moms.As a faithful Proverbs 31 woman of God, I was very concerned about my reputation ~ not for the sake of what people thought about *me,* of course ~ because, you know ~ I was very careful not to seek the "approval of men rather than God." No ~ my reputation was important only because I cared about my witness ~ I did not want the Word of God "blasphemed" on account of my unsubmissive attitude towards my husband, which would be, of course ~ evidence of a … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: What is Quiverfull?

by Vyckie  Q: What is "Quiverfull?""Quiverfull" is a convenient, though I believe, somewhat unfortunate term which we're using at No Longer Quivering to describe a family lifestyle which is growing in popularity among evangelical Christians ~ particularly those who home educate their children.Quiverfull ~ is the idea that truly godly families will "trust the Lord" with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings ("As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of ones youth, happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them") and as such, the couple is willing to have as many children as the Lord chooses to bless them with. Artificial or chemical … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #2 ~ If you stay you lose, if you leave you lose ~ No Winning Allowed!

by Arietty The experience of being in a No Win Scenario is a very familiar one to me. A decade after my divorce I still find myself smack up against that in certain conversations. While a marriage to an abuser is replete with such scenes (they rapidly become normal), it's the big leap of leaving where it angered me the most. I mean, I've left, why do I have to put up with this STILL? It's like after you have a baby and they suddenly want to give you stitches.. haven't you been through enough? Though not as grueling as what came before your tolerance is now zilch.In a marriage breakup most church friends and acquaintances don't wish to really hear about it. They want to tell you they are … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Custody Issues for ex-Quiverfull Parents

By "Dogemperor"NLQ Frequently Asked QuestionsQ. What resources are available for former Quiverfull parents seeking to retain/gain legal custody of their children?A. The following guest column by NLQ reader, "Dogemperor" addresses this issue in detail:Firstly, I'd like to thank Vyckie very much for asking me to do this guest column--and a minor caveat or two here: I am not a lawyer, merely someone who grew up in a "New Apostolic Reformation" coercive religious group that now tends to be a heavy promoter of the Quiverfull stuff. Anyways, Vyckie had notified me that a lot of parents who have left the Quiverfull movement (and coercive "Bible-based" groups who have promoted it) and are … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #1 ~ All the Responsibility, None of the Authority

by VyckieAs a convinced "Proverbs 31 woman" ~ dedicated to serving the Lord by honoring, supporting, and even "serving" my husband ~ I always understood that according to the biblical teachings of patriarchy, it is actually the husband who assumes ultimate responsibility for his household. (One day, Warren would be standing before the Lord to give an account for his success or failure in leading the family in accordance with God's revealed Word).So ~ I believed that while I had only the temporal burden of submitting to my husband's (often incompetent and wrong-headed) leadership in this life ~ it was Warren who actually bore the weight of responsibility in Eternity ~ where it really … [Read more...]

Kobayashi Maru ~ The No-Win Scenario

 by VyckieI *finally* got a chance to get to the theater and watch the new Star Trek ~ and I'll admit that I didn't completely "get it" ~ what are they planning to do now, start the series over with the new James T. Kirk and crew who're now different people due to the alternate reality created by the interference of time travelers?Don't answer that one ~ because this post is not actually about Star Trek. LOLThe movie got me thinking about the popular science fiction theme of no-win scenarios as represented by the Kobayashi Maru training exercise designed by Starfleet to test the character of cadets by creating a situation in which it is impossible to win and the individual must … [Read more...]

We didn't want to be BALANCED

by VyckieMe & my boys ~ at a homeschooling conference ~ soaking up new ideas about how to live a godly lifestyle that would be pleasing to the Lord.Many NLQ readers have expressed their observation that in any healthy belief system or chosen lifestyle, there needs to be "balance" ~ a quick glance through the comment section will yield plenty of observations that we've gone from "one extreme to the other."Part of the reason I'm writing this blog is to hopefully help those who have never personally been steeped in the fundamentalist mindset get a glimpse inside the world and ~ more significantly ~ the head of one who's been there and done that. So ~ with that goal in mind, let me … [Read more...]

It's about CONVICTION

 by VyckieLaura's got my Happiness! Yesterday I took my 13-year-old daughter, Hazelle (whom I've nicknamed Happy Hazelle or Happiness) to the airport ~ she's spending Spring Break in Seattle with Laura. Fun ;-)Okay ~ I'm commenting on my own post about STRONG WOMEN because I've thought of something else that I wanted to say on this topic.The strength that I had which kept me going was my conviction. I did it because I was so thoroughly convinced that this is what the bible taught and what pleased the Lord. I'd have done anything to please God.The minute that I realized that I no longer believe in God ~ that strength left me and I couldn't do it any more. I lost my motivation. I … [Read more...]

It's about a VISION

Vyckie's family 2007An important consideration that's obviously on everyone's mind here can be summed up this way: All those years that I published a "pro-life, pro-family" newspaper and I was writing articles for home school magazines encouraging others to live a QF/patriarchal lifestyle ~ we seemed to have a really nice, happy family. The Bennett Family was a role model for other Christian families ~ we were even honored by the governor of Nebraska in 2003 as "Family of the Year." I've shared many testimonies of God obviously working in our lives. (Be sure to click that link.) Now I've set up a blog and I'm writing a book saying this lifestyle ~ and the Christian worldview which … [Read more...]

We mustn't get ANGRY

by Vyckie"Just SMILE, okay?" This photo was taken on my 18th anniversary before church. Warren was in a terrible mood that morning ~ and all I wanted was to get family pictures taken which made us all look like such a happy family. It's like the more unhappy we were, the more determined I was to put on a good face and show the world how exceedingly happy we were. Ack.Okay ~ I'm trying to work on writing the next installment of my story ~ but now I'm distracted with another topic ~ Strong emotions in general ... and ANGER in particular.I started a thread to discuss health issues ~ and almost immediately regretted it because as I've been reading the angry comments from those who feel … [Read more...]


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