CTBHHM: The Bitter, Critical Woman

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy, Feminism Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 178—180 This section is weird for me. Why? Because, well, I found myself agreeing with it, for the most part. And not just that, but I found it speaking to my own personal life and experiences. This week we are looking at a letter, and the one sentence of commentary Debi attaches to it. This is still in the chapter on women loving their children, which make it odd, because at first glance (and second glance, and third glance) it has very little to do with, well, women loving their children. But enough of this introduction. Let’s have a look, shall we? … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Bitter Rooms or Silencing Techniques?

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from Growing Up Duggar page 155 Harmful Gossip One other big issue we've witnessed in the social media world is that some people get hooked on reading gossip and then post their own slanderous statements about others, whom they sometimes don't even know. Or they post something they would never say to that person face-to-face. It comes across as though those posters have nothing better to do with their time. … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be A Help Meet: The Prophet – Part 1

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by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide The next three chapters cover Debi's conceptualization of the personality types of men.  I will give Debi credit for coming up with a schema that I've never heard or seen before.  The chapters on The Prophet (Visionary Man) and The Priest (Steady Man) are rather gentle and painless for a Pearl book.   She gives some breathtakingly bad advice but spends less time than normal running people down. "God tells us right at the beginning of the Bible that he created man in his own image. "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness" (Genesis 1:26)" … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be His Help Meet: Creative Interpretations of the Book of Ruth

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by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide After Debi finishes twisting Esther from an active woman into a passive girl, Debi turns her attention to Ruth.  In her discussion of the Book of Ruth, Debi pulls a two-fer: Ruth is a passive follower as befits a young girl while Naomi, a wise older woman, gives her great counsel.  In short, Debi uses the story of Ruth to imply that Debi's young, naive readers should follow Debi's ideas unquestioningly.   On a positive note, Debi is blessedly brief on the subject. Away we go! … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Porn and Romance Novels Create Idealized Lies?

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by the Duggar girls from their book "Growing Up Duggar" page 111 and rather ironic considering Jill's recent marriage and Jessa's courtship with Ben Seewald "We have met some girls who have simply fallen in love with the idea of marriage and are just looking for a guy to fulfill their dreams.  They have an image in mind of what marriage is, and they are in love with that image. One girl told us recently, "I was in love with the thought of being in love, and it consumed my every waking hour." This is one of the greatest dangers of romance novels. They paint a picture of an unrealistic, unobtainable relationship. It's the same thing pornography does to men. Viewing pornography gives them a … [Read more...]

The Duggar Family and ATI (plus disgraced leader Bill Gothard)

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by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground I recently read through the book The Duggars: 20 and Counting. I remember meeting the Duggars  at an ATI homeschool conference about 15 years ago.  Because I grew up under the same program the Duggars are involved in, there were a lot of ATI lines that jumped out at me in the book. I am talking blatant Bill Gothard, ATI, IBLP lines. (If you don’t know the acronym, they are fancy words for Gothard’s Christian programs and seminars.) Here they go. … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: 75 Unhappy Homeschool Kids

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy Feminism Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 177—178 Debi is walking us through each of the things Titus 2 says older women are to teach younger women, and this week we begin the section titled “To Love Their Children.” I have to say, it’ll be nice to get a change from Debi’s constant focus on how women are to act toward their husbands. I mean, in Debi’s world, women are to be submissive wives, but are also to raise their children, and in 177 pages we’ve had very little mention of children (except that it’s more important for women to have dinner on the table than to care for sick children, Debi did say that). So now, … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Michael and Debi’s Love Story – Part Three

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by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide In the two previous posts on Debi and Michael Pearl's 'love' story, Debi discusses how God told her she was going to marry Michael when she was 13 and he was 21.  She spends from when she was about 16 to 20 being Michael's ministry flunky and finally gets his attention by showing up with a pretend fiance.  He's pissed because he doesn't want to lose his flunky to another man. Sounds like a match made in heaven, alright.  Let's dive into the last bit. … [Read more...]

Preparing To Be A Help Meet: Michael and Debi’s Love Story – Part Two

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by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide (Editor's note: I know I'm posting these out of sequence. I overlooked the continuation of the Pearl's love story. Rectifying that now. This is what happens when you kill off brain cells listening to the Duggars, Swanson and others daily.) Preparing to Be A Help Meet: Debi and Michael's Love Story - Part Two In Part One, Debi goes to a youth gathering at a local church and is told by God that she's going to marry Michael Pearl.  She's 13.  He's approximately 21.  Yipee. Debi goes home and tells her mom the good news: "Then I casually told her that God had spoken to me and told me that, when I grew up, the … [Read more...]

Preparing to be a Help Meet: Billy’s Courtship

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by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide You may wonder why I didn't title the previous post and this one "Lydia and Billy's Courtship: Part # "  I didn't because the two narratives feel like they were written about two different courtships rather than one event involving two people. Billy's description of courting Lydia is harder to read; not because of Billy or any of his actions, but because his interview is interrupted by comments from the editors - All. The. Time. All emphasis is from the original. "Q: What attracted you to Lydia? A: When I first met Lydia I wasn't what you would call really attracted, nor was I ready for marriage. (...) Our initial … [Read more...]


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