So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next?: The Narcissistic Pastor – How to Recognize a Spiritual Abuser

Chances are any pastor that is a Narcissist is actually whoring out parts of his personality/life

from the website An Irenicon - The Narcissistic PastorSo what does the narcissistic pastor look like?  I’m a humble person, so I’ll merely recount the characteristics of narcissism as identified by Sam Vaknin (himself diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder). His thoughts are in bold. Like I said I’m too humble to know any of this firsthand. Having worked, lived, confided for, and studied with many pastors, however, I know that it touches our profession intimately. Comments following the boldface reflect my actual experiences working in the church. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? – Dysfunctional Personalities

Children of Alcoholics

by Suzanne TitkemeyerI found this list of what the likely personality flaws children of alcoholics develop and it struck me that the list isn't just about alcoholism. It could apply to many different types of dysfunction, people raised in extreme religion, with toxic parents, workaholics, drug addicts, whatever. It works for a laundry list of dysfunction. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? – What Healthy Belief in God is Not

nowwhat

From Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome's Facebook pageHere are five quick and easy ways to determine if what you’re hearing really has anything to do with God:If it produces fear, it doesn’t. If it is self-diminishing, it doesn’t. If it motivates hate, it doesn’t.If it produces shame, it doesn’t.If it robs you of freedom, it doesn’t.Any belief in God cannot be true if it promotes... … [Read more...]

Part 5: Abuse Survey

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by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalPart 5 - Abuse SurveyLate last year, I answered an online survey about spiritual abuse. I would like to share some of those questions and answers here, hoping it will give you a better picture of where I am up to in my journey. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next?: It Became To Me a Dark Thing

light

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd"It Became to Me a Dark Thing" by Virginia KnowlesIt became to me a dark thing: Words spoken over me, into me Claiming divine light, right, might to rule. "Go down, worm soul, go down - You are unworthy to assume the dignity Of one with victory crowned." As if I had swindled treasure! Embezzled grace and glory from celestial storehouses -- A dastardly slave, masquerading as a devoted heir. Contrary! The enemy himself ransacked, then accused and confused this child.Truth: Every spiritual blessing is lavished freely From the Father's endless bounty of grace - And these are not even His only such gifts to … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? Tips: Dealing With Face to Face Confrontations

Silencespeaks

by Suzanne TitkemeyerOne of the biggest challenges I had during my recovery from spiritual abuse was what to say to the people from my old church circle when I'd run into them on the streets of my small town. They'd always want to rip into me on the subject of leaving that church, eager to issue 'Come to Jesus' talks or try and heap condemnation on me. I took to running the other way until I developed a coping strategy that allowed me to interact with them and put them on the spot. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused. What Next? – Dealing With Anxiety and Panic

panic-attack-art

by Pastor Randy Orndorff of Culpeper United Methodist Church shared with permission from the church websiteEditor's Note: Pastor Randy is the pastor of the church I now attend after my years at the abusive Evangelical church in my past. He's a good guy, he possesses one of the most important important characteristics of a good pastor would wouldn't abuse you, he is not controlling. This new year he actually did something sort of revolutionary for a pastor, he preached an entire series on coping with the slings and arrows of real life. So as part of our series I'll be sharing some of his sermon notes here. The rest can be viewed at the CUMC website. … [Read more...]

My Recovery Story: So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused. What Next?

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by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Come Weary MomsAn entry to the "So I've Been Spiritually Abused. What Next?" series.Four years ago, our family left a church organization which was and is facing major issues with legalism and abuse. It wasn’t easy to be there at the end.  It wasn’t easy to leave.  It still isn’t easy to navigate what I believe and how I relate to people.  Despite my deep disappointment and disillusionment, I have continued to rebuild my own spiritual life.  I have also looked back on several things that helped me transition out of more than one less-than-ideal-for-me situations.  I’d like to share these with you. … [Read more...]


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