A New Springtime: Daffodils Reclaimed (A glimpse into Stage Three recovery)

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission I wonder what I thought when I was old enough to find those scattered daffodils in the woods behind my parents' house. I must have been quite young, for in my mind, I seem to have always known that they were there. … [Read more...]

Considering Angst as a Healthy Part of Growth While Anticipating Mother’s Day

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman at Under Much Grace and used with permissionEditor's note: Knowing that holidays can be fraught with difficulties while you are recovering and that many have issues with both mothers and daughters I felt this piece was applicable for our upcoming Mother's Day holiday. May your day be filled with no drama.The Quiverfull and Patriarchy Movements in Evangelical Christianity (which are strongly associated with the Religious Right and with the homeschooling movement among Christians) understand any deviation “from family” as a great moral problem.Family translates for many as only the spe … [Read more...]

Part 3 – Self-Regulation? What? How?: Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEditor's note: Cindy has oodles of very cute cat and kitten graphics at her site to illustrate her points. You should take a look at them on her site!)How can I possibly know anything about emotional self-regulation? I was faced and am often still faced with the quandary of growing up without it, not really knowing that I lacked it, and then trying to figure out how to develop it. And though trauma therapy helped me make great strides to develop it, I still have my days...The process works out differently for everyone, and some people have less difficulty than others.  This represents what I experienced in my journey … [Read more...]

Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next?: The Narcissistic Pastor – How to Recognize a Spiritual Abuser

from the website An Irenicon - The Narcissistic PastorSo what does the narcissistic pastor look like?  I’m a humble person, so I’ll merely recount the characteristics of narcissism as identified by Sam Vaknin (himself diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder). His thoughts are in bold. Like I said I’m too humble to know any of this firsthand. Having worked, lived, confided for, and studied with many pastors, however, I know that it touches our profession intimately. Comments following the boldface reflect my actual experiences working in the church. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? – Dysfunctional Personalities

by Suzanne TitkemeyerI found this list of what the likely personality flaws children of alcoholics develop and it struck me that the list isn't just about alcoholism. It could apply to many different types of dysfunction, people raised in extreme religion, with toxic parents, workaholics, drug addicts, whatever. It works for a laundry list of dysfunction. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? – What Healthy Belief in God is Not

From Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome's Facebook pageHere are five quick and easy ways to determine if what you’re hearing really has anything to do with God:If it produces fear, it doesn’t. If it is self-diminishing, it doesn’t. If it motivates hate, it doesn’t.If it produces shame, it doesn’t.If it robs you of freedom, it doesn’t.Any belief in God cannot be true if it promotes... … [Read more...]

Part 5: Abuse Survey

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalPart 5 - Abuse SurveyLate last year, I answered an online survey about spiritual abuse. I would like to share some of those questions and answers here, hoping it will give you a better picture of where I am up to in my journey. … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next?: It Became To Me a Dark Thing

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd"It Became to Me a Dark Thing" by Virginia KnowlesIt became to me a dark thing: Words spoken over me, into me Claiming divine light, right, might to rule. "Go down, worm soul, go down - You are unworthy to assume the dignity Of one with victory crowned." As if I had swindled treasure! Embezzled grace and glory from celestial storehouses -- A dastardly slave, masquerading as a devoted heir. Contrary! The enemy himself ransacked, then accused and confused this child.Truth: Every spiritual blessing is lavished freely From the Father's endless bounty of grace - And these are not even His only such gifts to … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused, What Next? Tips: Dealing With Face to Face Confrontations

by Suzanne TitkemeyerOne of the biggest challenges I had during my recovery from spiritual abuse was what to say to the people from my old church circle when I'd run into them on the streets of my small town. They'd always want to rip into me on the subject of leaving that church, eager to issue 'Come to Jesus' talks or try and heap condemnation on me. I took to running the other way until I developed a coping strategy that allowed me to interact with them and put them on the spot. … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X