Covert Operations

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsMy friend quixie over at quixoticfaith posted an excellent video about covert narcissists. I have been told that I shouldn’t call my former pastor a narcissist because he isn’t an overt tyrant as many definitions indicate.  The video you can watch from quixie’s blog post is an excellent description of a “covert” narcissist and aptly describes much of what I observed in my experience with spiritual abuse.  Thank you, Quixie, for your post and video! Perhaps the most important section of the video is at the end when he discusses the effect on the victim.  I have written posts about how my self-confidence, my faith, my physical health, a … [Read more...]

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Spiritual Abuse – Recommended Reading

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAccording to the Spiritual Research Network, “spiritual abuse occurs when a leader, church or belief system – whether well intentioned or not – dominates, manipulates or castigates individuals through fear tactics, mind control or some other psychological or emotional abuse.”I believe that Jesus dealt with a great deal of this phenomenon and that the Pharisees were the spiritual abusers of His day. They are shepherds who use, manipulate or hurt the sheep for their purposes.This is a difficult thing to understand at first, especially if you are in a church and believe that your pastor or church leadership has subjected you … [Read more...]

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Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

nolongerquivering

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

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Creating Conditions for Abuse

Christianpatriarchalwatchlistforparents

by Emily cross posted from her site Christian Patriarchal Watch List For Parents "Bible-based groups that are authoritarian, legalistic, and sanction-oriented tend to create conditions for abuse within families. Survivor blogs/netoworks address how to recognize it and deal with it, with links to outside help and resources, and document family abuse in the Geftakys Assembly. Additional resources on the effects of family abuse, and the proper roles of spouses and parents, can be found in the Biblical Perspectives and Recovery sections of the site. http://www.geftakysassembly.com/Reflections/AbuseInFamilies.htm … [Read more...]

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Not Quoting Quiverfull – Litmus Test To Avoid Abusive Churches

Notquoting

From the new blog Flee From Christian Fundamentalism - Escape from the Abuse at ChurchEditor's note: Good list of things to look for in any new church you might attend.  But keep in mind that the author is a Methodist and there are also Methodist churches that would fail this list. Every church has the potential to have any one of these things going on, even the mainstream ones. … [Read more...]

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Talking My Way to Spiritual Health

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“I’m praying for your healing.”“What makes you think I’m not healed?”“You keep talking about it.  You won’t talk about it any more once you are completely healed.”“Seriously?  Remember how they told me I wasn’t to tell anyone what was happening to me?”“Yeah.”“As along as I wasn’t talking, I was immersed in their abusive treatment.  It wasn’t until I started healing that I was able to talk about it.  In fact, talking about it is one of the best indications that I have healed.  Talking about it means that I am not ashamed, I am not hiding, I am whole and strong and victorious.  Not only that, but talking about it allow … [Read more...]

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Not Quoting Quiverfull: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt

Notquoting

NLQ SASBN member Boze Herrington has written a review of the new Netflix show "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt" for The Guardian newspaper. If you've not seen this new television show you might want to watch a few episodes. It's a comedy and yes, it is somewhat silly at times, but the draw for anyone in the former Quiverfull movement is that the show tackles the difficult issue of what it is like when you leave a cult and your entire frame of reference on life is what you learned within the cult. It manages to capture that perfect awkwardness in readjusting or adjusting for the first time to the outside world. … [Read more...]

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Spock on Abuse

Image from Living Liminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSpock obviously understood how abusers operate: … [Read more...]

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Announcement: The Hotline Project of Recovery From Religion

Image from Recovery From Religion used with permission

NLQ friend and partner site Recovery From Religion is launching their long anticipated Hotline. The Hotline Project will be available 24 hours a day for those struggling with the emotional turmoil of leaving their faith. Here's what Recovery From Religion  has to say on their site about the project: … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Publicly Complain About “The Church”

quotingquiverfull

by Whitney Capps of Proverbs 31 Ministries at Faith It - An Open Letter to All the People Writing (and Sharing) Open Letters About What's Wrong With The ChurchEditor's note: Clearly this woman doesn't understand that what 'The Church' and many Christians have been doing has wreaked havoc, caused pain and damaged many of those same people that are writing about what is wrong with the Church. It's not 'whining'. it's not 'complaining', it's an attempt to deal with what has happened to those who are deeply wounded to heal and make sure no one else is harmed in the same way. How is that wrong? … [Read more...]

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