Why Am I Not Surprised?

bali

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

What is That Sorry Worth?

sorrybart

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSince my own devastating 'church' experience, I've been reading and learning all I can about abuse. What it looks like. How it manifests. Why both abuser and abused seem to act out their parts as if reading from some ineluctable script, regardless of the finer details of the situation. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Dones?

boxinggloves

by Mark Sandlin from the Patheos blog The God Article - The Rise of 'The Dones' as the Church Kills Spiritual Community Mark is also the founder of The Christian LeftExcellent article and observations. Many of us from the former Quiverfull community are now part of 'The Dones', being told we were never 'real' Christians or we would have never walked away in the first place.  Predictably there are a few True Believers in the comments slinging Bible verses and hate. How about you, dear readers? Are you a SBNR, The Nones or part of The Dones? … [Read more...]

Day 5 of 21 Days of Healing: Know Your Guiding Values

wintersunset

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod loves you with an everlasting love. (Change your brain.)What do you hold as most important? What are the essential qualities that you value in yourself, others, life? Have you ever written them down? … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

21 Days of Healing – An Introduction

healing1

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDecember 20, 2013. That’s the day that my husband received an email from one of the pastor’s of our former church telling us that we were to leave. All because my husband had said that they needed to apologize to me. Until the moment when he insisted there needed to be an apology, it appeared that there was hope. For communication. For a meeting. The anticipation of a God-honoring conclusion to years of spiritual abuse. … [Read more...]

Revisiting Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World ~ Part 4: Acknowledgement and Apologies

In light of the painful situation in the Jeub family we're revisiting mothers apologies to Quiverfull daughters:by Vyckie Garrison [Note: this series is dedicated to Quivering Daughters by the former-Quiverfull moms at No Longer Quivering.] … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts Part 4

blacksheep

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDuring all of these years, I would come to church, sit four or five rows from the pulpit, right on the center aisle, and listen to Elliot and others preach grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Elliot preached and preached. I wept and wept openly. I could not sing. I could not so much as close my eyes in prayer. I could not stand for the blessing at the end of the service. I knew that no matter how much Elliot preached those words to everyone else in the congregation, they were not for me. And I would email him and tell him as much. Without response. … [Read more...]

When Church Hurts: Part 3

worshipteam

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts One day I received a call from the new pastor at another church in the same town. They were looking for a person to direct the choir and lead some worship teams. I ended up resigning from my position at the Bible college to work for this church. I made it clear that I would come and lead their music ministry, but I was not interested in leaving my church.  They accepted my position and I was there for almost two years.  During that time I discovered that they were a very divisive congregation who spent a great deal of time expressing what they were against – whether it had to do with music or youth ministry or the way the pla … [Read more...]

Matthew 18 and Spiritual Abuse

spiritualabuse

by Kristen Rosser cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's WordsI have been asked a few times over the last several months to do a blog post on Matthew 18:15-17, where Jesus teaches about what to do if a member of a Christian group is committing wrongs that are harmful enough that they cannot be overlooked.  Here's the text, from the 2011 NIV: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they r … [Read more...]


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