Is This Your Pastor?

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsHere is another interesting article on Covert Narcissism – specifically in the pastorate.  As I read the indicators, I was again nodding my head in agreement.Link to pdfThe bullet point list in the article talks about “one-upping you in conversation.”  I hadn’t thought much about this until I saw this point, but, yes, that happened in my very limited conversations with the pastor. … [Read more...]

Beware of Church Planting Networks

by Emily Nielson Jones of Christian Patriarchal Watch List For Parents "For every 1 church plant by a mainline denomination, there are 9 church plants by an evangelical group, and most evangelical denominations were more open to women's leadership 100 years ago than they are today - for example, Evangelical Free, Baptist General Conference, Assemblies of God, various Holiness denominations, and the Wesleyan church.” ~ Dave Olson, Church Planter, Evangelical Covenant Church (which has a gender-balanced leadership) http://www.christianitytoday.com/gifted-for-leadership/2009/april/final-church-barrier-for-women-church-planter.html … [Read more...]

“Pay Now, Play Later”

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe heard this quote often at our former church:“Pay now, play later.  Play now, pay later.”One of the most impressive things we noticed when we first began attending our former church was that the senior pastor appeared to be very “servant hearted.”  Unlike the majority of churches that have a reserved spot for the pastor right next to the building, he would park at the far end of the parking lot so that others could park closer.  After services on Sunday, he would return all of his glasses (he usually had three or four glasses of water collected under his chair) to the kitchen and he would go into the restrooms and collect the … [Read more...]

Covert Operations

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsMy friend quixie over at quixoticfaith posted an excellent video about covert narcissists. I have been told that I shouldn’t call my former pastor a narcissist because he isn’t an overt tyrant as many definitions indicate.  The video you can watch from quixie’s blog post is an excellent description of a “covert” narcissist and aptly describes much of what I observed in my experience with spiritual abuse.  Thank you, Quixie, for your post and video! Perhaps the most important section of the video is at the end when he discusses the effect on the victim.  I have written posts about how my self-confidence, my faith, my physical health, a … [Read more...]

The gods Have Clay Feet: A Few Thoughts About Pastors

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserThe Fundamentalist/Evangelical Christian church has many gods. While they will profess to worship the true and living God, the God of the Bible, often their true object of worship is human and not divine. Most Fundamentalist/Evangelical Christian churches have a congregational form of church government. Some churches have adopted an elder rule form of government. Regardless of what form of government a church adopts, there can be no doubt about who really runs the church. The CEO, the boss man, the head honcho is the pastor, also known as  the senior pastor, executive pastor, and prophet, priest and king. … [Read more...]

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When Church Hurts Part 4

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDuring all of these years, I would come to church, sit four or five rows from the pulpit, right on the center aisle, and listen to Elliot and others preach grace, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Elliot preached and preached. I wept and wept openly. I could not sing. I could not so much as close my eyes in prayer. I could not stand for the blessing at the end of the service. I knew that no matter how much Elliot preached those words to everyone else in the congregation, they were not for me. And I would email him and tell him as much. Without response. … [Read more...]

News: Rape Apologia at Christianity Today

Christianity Today has published an article written by a youth pastor who was caught, convicted and is now in jail for sexually molesting one of the girls in his youth group.  Christianity Today - My Easy Trip from Youth Minister to FelonA few years into my marriage and ministry I began to believe a lie. The realities of parenthood and marriage were sinking in, and I felt unappreciated at home. From my perspective, I was excelling at work and at home—and this perceived lack of appreciation led me to believe I deserved more. … [Read more...]

News: Jack Schaap Trying To Squirm Out Of Sentence

Now Jack Schaap is claiming that he was improperly represented by his legal staff at his trial for violation of the Mann Act and sex with an underaged girl. Schaap is claiming his attorneys promised him a sentence of no more than ten years, yet the judge gave him twelve years. It was fully within the rights of the judge to decide the length of the sentence regardless of what prosecutors  or defense team members asked for as a sentence. … [Read more...]

Holy Sex – Part 1

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog True Love Doesn't RapeHoly Sex The Way God Intended by Michael PearlI had no intention of reading and reviewing another book considering I'm way behind on reviewing both “A Love That Multiples” by Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and the book by the Duggar daughters, “Growing Up Duggar”. Lately I've been approached about doing book reviews for various folks uninvolved with NLQ and my reviews of the Duggar products has slipped to the back burner.After looking at the Pearls author page on Amazon.com on Memorial Day afternoon I saw that Michael (Woman do it MY way!) Pearl had written a book on sex. As much as the idea of Michael Pearl havin … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Killer Babies?

by Voddie Bauchaum from the sermon 'The Doctrine of Depravity' "One of the reasons that God makes human babies small is so they won't kill their parents in their sleep. They're evil. Yes, this is true of children. 'None is righteous; no, not one.'…Yes, that little, precious one—you better believe it. If you don't, you miss the big picture and you don't realize your desperate need to get the gospel to your child again and again and again and again." … [Read more...]