Using Halos to Cope With Horns? Objectification as a Double-Edged Sword

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission.Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).Here's a radical thought as we continue to consider the trappings of the Halo Effect. (I've dubbed the other side of the idealization coin as the Horn Effect to describe cognitive bias that results in the demoralization of others.)People don't like to think that thinking v … [Read more...]

Kiss Your Monster on the Nose

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission. I first encountered this story near the end of the book An Adult Child's Guide to What's “Normal” by Friel and Friel, but beyond that, I have no idea where it originated.In many ways, I hope to make the monsters of Cognitive Biases something of friends by what they tell us about ourselves. May we continue to learn from our mistakes and those uncomfortable parts of ourselves that tend to scare us. May they become our respected friends and instruments for fostering healthy growth.Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in a village far fro … [Read more...]

Wishful Thinking and Jello

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceImages by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. This is another article in the Cindy's Cognitive Biases series. I remember when I was head over heels (sometimes literally) in that Toronto Blessing Movement in Word of Faith, I could feel the disappointment coming. I was probably about ten pounds overweight at the time, and I went on an extended fast. I stopped checking my weight when I was three weeks in, and I'd dropped about 35 pounds. I continued to fast until I “believed” I'd achieved what I'd set out to overcome, but I didn't weigh myself again. I do remember when my weight shot about 35 pounds ahead … [Read more...]

When Cognitive Biases Hit Too Close To Home

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceJust a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).All images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission.We don't come with a user's manual for our parents when we're born, and no one gives us one when we head towards adulthood. We are human, and as the old slogan goes, “Children learn what they live. … [Read more...]

Dignity, Decisions and Liberty of Conscience

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd As I write on this Watch the Shepherd blog about the abuse of authority and advocating for the vulnerable, I often think of another underlying theme: liberty of faith and conscience. This applies to churches, marriages, parenting, education choices, and so much more. … [Read more...]

Part 2 – Living Happily in ‘Plan B’

by Cindy Foster cross posted from her blog Finding FundamentalYou can find Part 1 here. ‘Plan A’ became the sum total of our utmost hopes and dreams for our children as pertaining more to their ‘Godliness’ than anything else. We assumed that ‘Godliness’ was the main ingredient to guarantee success in all their practical endeavors as well. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Men Always Dump Women After Unmarried Sex?

by Unknown at Girl Defined - La La Land: A Conflicting Message for Christian GirlsEditor's note: The emphasis bolding below is mine. I would love to ask these two rather immature young women that run the Girl Defined blog why they think it is that you can sleep with someone you married and they don't immediately lose interest now that they've had sex. Having sex with someone you're not married to does not automatically get you dumped. It's shame-based thinking like that which harms women. I haven't seen this movie so I'm not sure how accurately they are describing the film. … [Read more...]

What Christian Leaders Tell the Sexually Abused

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Redeeming DinahAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Redeeming Dinah and used with permission. This is a summary of some of the teachings of prominent Christian leaders on sexual abuse that Cindy has used in her presentations on abuse. It is a compilation more than an article. … [Read more...]

Celebrate Yourself! Part 2

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix I love music. I play the piano and just started learning to play guitar. Animals. I am drawn towards them. I feel more comfortable around them than I do around most people. I feel like I am grounded around them, and I draw energy and peace from being around them. I like to think that I bounce that energy and those good vibes back to them. I was holding my nephew's bunny Alfie the other night. I was at a dinner party and I was on the verge of passing out and feeling sick. But if I concentrated on Alfie, I could re-center myself and not go as deep into a crash as I otherwise would have.  Alfie's nose just kept wiggling and his whiskers kept time wi … [Read more...]

Celebrate Yourself! Part 1

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix So I have been comparing my old beliefs and new beliefs a good bit lately.  I guess there was one old and new habit that I haven't explored much yet. Maybe I haven't explored it because I haven't settled comfortably into the new habit even as of now? … [Read more...]