Memories of My Own Cognitive Dissonance: Gothard’s Doctrine of Grace as an Example

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from Under Much Grace originally posted in 2010In so many words (!), I’ve already shared what cognitive dissonance felt like after some exit counseling and realizing that not everything I’d believed had been true.I’d like to discuss a bit more about the process that facilitated my acceptance of Gothard’s take on grace (and other ideas introduced at the Institute of Basic Life Principles conference I attended). I only briefly mentioned it in this post. Cognitive dissonance was easy to ignore for me when I first accepted his views, but when I revised my understanding after I left the spiritually abusive system; I had no other option but to let the process … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Why Can’t Churches Deal With Disagreement?

livingliminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalYesterday I sat in the school car park being entertained by the behaviour of the man who had desperately wanted to be 'king' at my ex-church. He had to walk right past my car to get to his own, and I'm afraid I couldn't help laughing quietly at his determined attempts to appear unconscious of my existence. (On the upside, at least I find it amusing these days rather than deeply painful like I used to.) … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Differentiating Between ‘Cult’, ‘Cultic’ and ‘Spiritual Abuse’

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from Under Much GraceWhat is the difference between "cult" and "cultic?" (Sociologically Speaking) It’s a matter of degree. Defining terms is vital.Concerning things "cultic" versus a "cult." If you’re the average guy (or gal) sitting in a church or a concerned significant other of someone in a group, the first thing you generally notice is that something bothers you about the group. This realization is true of any subtle deception or of insidious problems such as something wrong with your car. You hear an unfamiliar noise and the right side of your brain become sensitized and unconsiously starts putting things together (as a built in defense mechanism). … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Blame it on the Smurfs – Post-Tramatic Church Syndrome

posttramaticchurchsyndrome

by Suzanne TitkemeyerWhen I first cracked open my copy of Reba Riley's book, Post-Tramatic Church Syndrome I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I figured it might be much like many of the series we feature here on No Longer Quivering: Girl/boy is immersed in a Quiverfull/Fundamentalist/Evangelical church and leaves for a long laundry list of reasons with a heavy burden of spiritual abuse and a heaping helping of depression only to be heckled/harassed/hounded by those well-meaning 'Good Christians' left behind. Usually the woman/man has a long road of healing with lots of twists, turns and tears before coming to a place that works on all levels for them. A sadder but wiser person. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Covert Operations

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsMy friend quixie over at quixoticfaith posted an excellent video about covert narcissists. I have been told that I shouldn’t call my former pastor a narcissist because he isn’t an overt tyrant as many definitions indicate.  The video you can watch from quixie’s blog post is an excellent description of a “covert” narcissist and aptly describes much of what I observed in my experience with spiritual abuse.  Thank you, Quixie, for your post and video! Perhaps the most important section of the video is at the end when he discusses the effect on the victim.  I have written posts about how my self-confidence, my faith, my physical health, a … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Spiritual Abuse – Recommended Reading

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAccording to the Spiritual Research Network, “spiritual abuse occurs when a leader, church or belief system – whether well intentioned or not – dominates, manipulates or castigates individuals through fear tactics, mind control or some other psychological or emotional abuse.”I believe that Jesus dealt with a great deal of this phenomenon and that the Pharisees were the spiritual abusers of His day. They are shepherds who use, manipulate or hurt the sheep for their purposes.This is a difficult thing to understand at first, especially if you are in a church and believe that your pastor or church leadership has subjected you … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

nolongerquivering

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Know When To Walk Away, Know When To Run

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI recently received a message on the Facebook page for When Church Hurts in which the writer asked if they should leave a church if no one cares whether or not they come back because they are seen as not contributing enough. The writer didn’t define what they meant by “contribute,” but it could mean any number of things – not enough money, time, energy, attendance, spiritual depth, etc. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome

CindyKunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAfter exiting a cult, an individual may experience a period of intense and often conflicting emotions. She or he may feel relief to be out of the group, but also may feel grief over the loss of positive elements in the cult, such as friendships, a sense of belonging or the feeling of personal worth generated by the group's stated ideals or mission. The emotional upheaval of the period is often characterized by "post- cult trauma syndrome": … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Is Spiritual Abuse Biblical?

CindyKunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEssentially, the most vivid examples of spiritual abuse come from Ezekiel 34 and Zechariah 11, with the consummate example of spiritual abuse embodied in the Pharisees and Sadducees. Though I’ve listed the references for these Scriptures below, I have also displayed the full texts on the Under Much Grace website, and you can LINK HERE to read them (and as of April 2012, they are also noted below).There are also two excellent articles that discuss whether or not spiritual abuse is actually found within Scripture itself. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X