Day 12 of 21 Days of Healing: God, Where Are You?

hazelmountainoverlook

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThe Lord is the strength of my life. Do you sense that your thoughts are becoming more positive as you focus on the truth of God’s love and presence in your life? (Brain change.)Day 12When I had my first spiritually abusive experience, I remember being so positive. The pastor at my first abusive church was upset that I was stepping away from assisting with worship/music preparation for a few months. He knew there would be questions about why I was taking a break and he feared that without my help, the music would suffer and he and the associate pastor would not look as good. So, when he spoke against me to the elders, saying th … [Read more...]

Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

NashvilleSunset

by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

Day 10 of 21 Days of Healing: WWJS?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsPlease remember to remind yourself of the truth of who God says you are. Some days will be harder than others, but in the end, as you change your thoughts from the judgmental, demeaning messages of abuse to the unconditional love of God, you will find healing for your heart.Let’s work on that a little deeper today.Day 10: What would Jesus Say? … [Read more...]

Gaslighting Heated Up

gaslightingmeme

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYou can read Part 1 here.In my last post, I had just touched my toe to the cess pool of gaslighting and how it had impacted my experience with spiritual abuse. But then a comment on that post prodded me to delve a bit deeper into the practice of gaslighting. It wasn’t long before long-dormant memories were being stirred as I read, listened, and learned more and more about how gaslighters operate and how their behavior impacts their victims. … [Read more...]

Day 9 of 21 Days of Healing: No Strings Attached

treatyou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10I hope you focus on this verse today because if you have suffered spiritual abuse, you have encountered a thief intent on stealing, killing, and destroying you. So cling to the life that Jesus gives – abundant life!And that’s what today’s post is about, too. … [Read more...]

Gaslighting

Lamplighter Lighting Gas Street Light

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

Day 7 of 21 Days of Healing: Obsession Appointments

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsKeep reminding yourself of how much God loves you. Choose a scripture, song, inspirational statement that you can remember throughout the day.While I began this practice shortly after being tossed out of the church, I must credit my friend, Jennifer Boykin, with the term “Obsession Appointments.” … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

What is That Sorry Worth?

sorrybart

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSince my own devastating 'church' experience, I've been reading and learning all I can about abuse. What it looks like. How it manifests. Why both abuser and abused seem to act out their parts as if reading from some ineluctable script, regardless of the finer details of the situation. … [Read more...]


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