Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

waterfalls

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

Day 7 of 21 Days of Healing: Obsession Appointments

trees

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsKeep reminding yourself of how much God loves you. Choose a scripture, song, inspirational statement that you can remember throughout the day.While I began this practice shortly after being tossed out of the church, I must credit my friend, Jennifer Boykin, with the term “Obsession Appointments.” … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

bali

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

What is That Sorry Worth?

sorrybart

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSince my own devastating 'church' experience, I've been reading and learning all I can about abuse. What it looks like. How it manifests. Why both abuser and abused seem to act out their parts as if reading from some ineluctable script, regardless of the finer details of the situation. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Dones?

boxinggloves

by Mark Sandlin from the Patheos blog The God Article - The Rise of 'The Dones' as the Church Kills Spiritual Community Mark is also the founder of The Christian LeftExcellent article and observations. Many of us from the former Quiverfull community are now part of 'The Dones', being told we were never 'real' Christians or we would have never walked away in the first place.  Predictably there are a few True Believers in the comments slinging Bible verses and hate. How about you, dear readers? Are you a SBNR, The Nones or part of The Dones? … [Read more...]

Day 5 of 21 Days of Healing: Know Your Guiding Values

wintersunset

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod loves you with an everlasting love. (Change your brain.)What do you hold as most important? What are the essential qualities that you value in yourself, others, life? Have you ever written them down? … [Read more...]

Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

bayou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

Revisiting Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World: Part 6 – Soul Binding

quivering-daughters

[Note: this series is dedicated to Quivering Daughtersby the former-Quiverfull moms at No Longer Quivering.] by Daisy My name is Daisy. I am a good person…but I was a bad parent. … [Read more...]

Revisiting Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World Part 5 – Confessions of a Quiverfull Hero

quivering-daughters

[Note: this series is dedicated to Quivering Daughters by the former-Quiverfull moms at No Longer Quivering.]by Daisy I was only 19 when I arrived at Christianity’s door, bruised and highly impressionable and, because of my family situation, determined to do a better job of sorting out my life than my parents had done. Victims of abuse in their own homes, my parents had learned very early to dissociate from their emotions. Our home was an emotionally sterile one and, although I know now that this is not true, as as child I believed my parents did not love me. I decided that when *I* had kids, if they grew up knowing nothing else, they would know for sure that I loved them more than bre … [Read more...]


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