Gaslighting Heated Up

gaslightingmeme

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYou can read Part 1 here.In my last post, I had just touched my toe to the cess pool of gaslighting and how it had impacted my experience with spiritual abuse. But then a comment on that post prodded me to delve a bit deeper into the practice of gaslighting. It wasn’t long before long-dormant memories were being stirred as I read, listened, and learned more and more about how gaslighters operate and how their behavior impacts their victims. … [Read more...]

Day 9 of 21 Days of Healing: No Strings Attached

treatyou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10I hope you focus on this verse today because if you have suffered spiritual abuse, you have encountered a thief intent on stealing, killing, and destroying you. So cling to the life that Jesus gives – abundant life!And that’s what today’s post is about, too. … [Read more...]

Gaslighting

Lamplighter Lighting Gas Street Light

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

waterfalls

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

Day 7 of 21 Days of Healing: Obsession Appointments

trees

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsKeep reminding yourself of how much God loves you. Choose a scripture, song, inspirational statement that you can remember throughout the day.While I began this practice shortly after being tossed out of the church, I must credit my friend, Jennifer Boykin, with the term “Obsession Appointments.” … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

bali

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

What is That Sorry Worth?

sorrybart

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalSince my own devastating 'church' experience, I've been reading and learning all I can about abuse. What it looks like. How it manifests. Why both abuser and abused seem to act out their parts as if reading from some ineluctable script, regardless of the finer details of the situation. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Dones?

boxinggloves

by Mark Sandlin from the Patheos blog The God Article - The Rise of 'The Dones' as the Church Kills Spiritual Community Mark is also the founder of The Christian LeftExcellent article and observations. Many of us from the former Quiverfull community are now part of 'The Dones', being told we were never 'real' Christians or we would have never walked away in the first place.  Predictably there are a few True Believers in the comments slinging Bible verses and hate. How about you, dear readers? Are you a SBNR, The Nones or part of The Dones? … [Read more...]

Day 5 of 21 Days of Healing: Know Your Guiding Values

wintersunset

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsGod loves you with an everlasting love. (Change your brain.)What do you hold as most important? What are the essential qualities that you value in yourself, others, life? Have you ever written them down? … [Read more...]

Day 3 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Own Power Part 2

bayou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you are following the 21 Days of Healing, please remember to continue to work on changing your brain. You will want to continue to replace the messages that your abusers gave you by focusing on the truth of what God has to say about you and your relationship with Him. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3 … [Read more...]


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X