Day 15 of 21 Days of Healing: Making It Real

wintersmorn

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“He restores my soul.” (Brain work.)Day 15At the end of Day 14, you should have had a pretty good idea of what your perfect “ordinary” day would look like. I hope you are taking steps to make that happen.Remember, an “ordinary” day is one that happens on a regular basis – like my work week. Monday through Friday’s are my “ordinary” days and I love having a very restful, relaxing, time outside of my working and commuting hours. … [Read more...]

There Is No Formula For Culture Shock

orchids

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundI recently thought of this post, I wrote on Christmas Eve from my phone while with a few teenagers in Asia. We spent Christmas day floating around a pond in 80F/26C weather in shorts, and in the evening when the temperature had dropped to 68F/20C, I read a book out on a lawn chair while the kids were swimming.Then I thought how brutal the last two years have been. I mean, freakin TERRIBLY DIFFICULT PUCK ME UP, kind of brutal. … [Read more...]

“Un-Friending”

unfriend

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYesterday, I was asked to list three things that have happened in the past year that I can celebrate. Immediately, I wrote that both of my sons graduated from college and both have jobs in their fields of study – not always an easy task these days. … [Read more...]

Gently Gently During The Holidays

peanuts-singing

by Suzanne TitkemeyerI just could not take it any more after looking down and realizing in the bright winter sunlight flooding into my living room that my television remote control looked like it had been dipped in some sort of combination of Cheeto dust, coconut oil and the sands of time then sat out to dry for a decade. Yes, yes it was encrusted and gross. I'd noticed it before, but in the past I'd sighed and mentally made a note to disinfect my hands after using the remote because to give it the scrubbing it needed would surely involve ruining the electronic function of this most sacred of male totems. … [Read more...]

Day 12 of 21 Days of Healing: God, Where Are You?

hazelmountainoverlook

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThe Lord is the strength of my life. Do you sense that your thoughts are becoming more positive as you focus on the truth of God’s love and presence in your life? (Brain change.)Day 12When I had my first spiritually abusive experience, I remember being so positive. The pastor at my first abusive church was upset that I was stepping away from assisting with worship/music preparation for a few months. He knew there would be questions about why I was taking a break and he feared that without my help, the music would suffer and he and the associate pastor would not look as good. So, when he spoke against me to the elders, saying th … [Read more...]

Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

NashvilleSunset

by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

5 Early Warning Signs of Toxic People

toxicpeople

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons A blogging friend of mine, Boze Herrington, asked a question the other day: what are some warning signs of toxic people? Many people thoughtfully responded with articulations of some of the “classic” red flags: they refuse to respect your boundaries, they routinely accuse people who are stating their opinion neutrally or even gracefully as being “abusive” and/or “hateful,” they frequently resort to name-calling … … [Read more...]

Leaving Before You Are Ready

doorknob

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

Day 10 of 21 Days of Healing: WWJS?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsPlease remember to remind yourself of the truth of who God says you are. Some days will be harder than others, but in the end, as you change your thoughts from the judgmental, demeaning messages of abuse to the unconditional love of God, you will find healing for your heart.Let’s work on that a little deeper today.Day 10: What would Jesus Say? … [Read more...]

Gaslighting Heated Up

gaslightingmeme

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYou can read Part 1 here.In my last post, I had just touched my toe to the cess pool of gaslighting and how it had impacted my experience with spiritual abuse. But then a comment on that post prodded me to delve a bit deeper into the practice of gaslighting. It wasn’t long before long-dormant memories were being stirred as I read, listened, and learned more and more about how gaslighters operate and how their behavior impacts their victims. … [Read more...]


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