Covert Operations

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsMy friend quixie over at quixoticfaith posted an excellent video about covert narcissists. I have been told that I shouldn’t call my former pastor a narcissist because he isn’t an overt tyrant as many definitions indicate.  The video you can watch from quixie’s blog post is an excellent description of a “covert” narcissist and aptly describes much of what I observed in my experience with spiritual abuse.  Thank you, Quixie, for your post and video! Perhaps the most important section of the video is at the end when he discusses the effect on the victim.  I have written posts about how my self-confidence, my faith, my physical health, a … [Read more...]

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Spiritual Abuse – Recommended Reading

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAccording to the Spiritual Research Network, “spiritual abuse occurs when a leader, church or belief system – whether well intentioned or not – dominates, manipulates or castigates individuals through fear tactics, mind control or some other psychological or emotional abuse.”I believe that Jesus dealt with a great deal of this phenomenon and that the Pharisees were the spiritual abusers of His day. They are shepherds who use, manipulate or hurt the sheep for their purposes.This is a difficult thing to understand at first, especially if you are in a church and believe that your pastor or church leadership has subjected you … [Read more...]

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20 Worst Things To Say To Someone Suffering

suzannet

by Suzanne Titkemeyer cross posted from her blog Every Breaking WaveAs part of my adminning No Longer Quivering I have to stroll around the blogosphere a couple of times a day to see what's going on. This morning I found this list posted at two different places. This list made me almost retch upon reading it. But I've been told that the list and posting was sarcastic. I hope so because these are some of the worst things I've seen that could be said to a struggling person.The original posting was about how your friends can support you best when you leave your abusive husband. Granted, I've never had to do that, but I have gone through trauma, tragedy and pain, just like everyone else, … [Read more...]

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Quoting Quiverfull: Panic Attacks Happen Because You Don’t Trust God?

quotingquiverfull

by Savabrown14 from Loved By I Am - An Anxious HeartEditor's note: This is much the same as the poison being spread by Tim LaHaye in his book "How To Win Over Depression" that SASBN member Samantha Field was reviewing. Instead of admitting or realizing that anxiety, fear and panic can happen because of circumstances or even the chemical load in your own brain and getting professional help dealing with your feelings it's always 'You are not trusting God.' Yeah I am, I'm trusting God created psychologists and therapists plus medicine if it's needed. How is that wrong? … [Read more...]

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Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

nolongerquivering

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

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Know When To Walk Away, Know When To Run

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI recently received a message on the Facebook page for When Church Hurts in which the writer asked if they should leave a church if no one cares whether or not they come back because they are seen as not contributing enough. The writer didn’t define what they meant by “contribute,” but it could mean any number of things – not enough money, time, energy, attendance, spiritual depth, etc. … [Read more...]

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Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome

CindyKunsman

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAfter exiting a cult, an individual may experience a period of intense and often conflicting emotions. She or he may feel relief to be out of the group, but also may feel grief over the loss of positive elements in the cult, such as friendships, a sense of belonging or the feeling of personal worth generated by the group's stated ideals or mission. The emotional upheaval of the period is often characterized by "post- cult trauma syndrome": … [Read more...]

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“How To Win Over Depression” review: 212 – 241

Howtowinoverdepression

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The DragonsTo be honest, if Tim had stopped writing the chapter on how to help your depressed child at page 216, I wouldn’t have a single problem with anything he says in this single, solitary chapter. His first bits of advice are:Give your children a lot of love and affection. Accept them. Avoid anger in the home. … [Read more...]

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“How To Win Over Depression” review: 192 – 211

Howtowinoverdepression

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons Thankfully, I think we only have this week and next week and then we’ll be done with this book. One of my biggest complaints today is that this book wasn’t edited– only proofread. There’s not a lot of development to this book, and Tim has a tendency to repeat himself. This chapter– “Ten Steps to Victory Over Depression”– barely contributes anything new to the book. … [Read more...]

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Jane Eyre’s Sisters – NLQ Book Review

Janeeyressisters

by Suzanne TitkemeyerJane Eyre's Sisters: How Women Live and Write the Heroine's Story by Jody Gentian BowerI have to admit, I wasn't sure what this book was going to be about beyond how women write about the lives of other women from classic literature. If the focus had been only on the lives of women writers and the influence of society on their writings from the time of Jane Austen I would have been well satisfied. But this book was far richer in scope, opening up to me critical thinking about women, our roles in family, society and life. … [Read more...]

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