My Healing Continues

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalIn recent years, I've become accustomed to certain people pretending that I don't exist. If I won't shut up and go away or roll over and play dead, the only option left, apparently, is for them to refuse to acknowledge my existence.There was a time when it used to upset me. Eventually, I got to a place where it mostly amused me. … [Read more...]

Elie Wiesel Would Have Been Disappointed in You

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI haven’t posted in awhile.  But the death of Elie Wiesel brought to mind this quote the spirit of which has always been at the forefront of my thoughts on my experience with spiritual abuse.“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” – Elie Wiesel … [Read more...]

Gothard and Williams Draw their Cultic Hatred of Dinah from the Hebrew Midrash

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from the blog Redeeming DinahAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Redeeming Dinah and used with permission. When I became involved in a church that followed the teachings of Bill Gothard, and as I spent more time with my same-aged peers who were involved in the Evangelical Christian homeschooling movement, I was surprised by the way they characterized certain women in the Bible. The teachings of many ministers within Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) church does not differ from what I heard – which all stems back to Gothard. … [Read more...]

Fundraising For Baptist Teen Home Recovery Event

NLQ author and SASBN member Cindy Kunsman is holding a recovery session for survivors of the IFB Teen Homes. Many of the ladies that have been hurt by these IFB homes are still suffering from the abuse done to them as children and could greatly benefit from this event. Sadly many cannot afford to go. Cindy is running a fundraiser to assure than any of them that wants to come to this event can afford to go. Here are Cindy's words about this fundraiser. … [Read more...]

Maybe The System, Itself, Is The Problem…

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI came across this quote today and I couldn't help but think of the 'church' system I've encountered: "Life is full of examples of systems that work. When you find yourself in a situation where you can't make headway towards solving a problem, consider whether you're addressing the problem at its origin... What part of the system isn't working? ...Too often we see a bad result and we mistake it for the problem. The result may be just a byproduct of a system that's not functioning, a flashing error warning to let you know that something has to change." - Henry Cloud … [Read more...]

Part 2 – Churches That Abuse, Why Good People Do Bad Things and Why Bad People Do Bad Things

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserIn the first part of this post I dealt with Churches That Abuse: Why Bad people do Bad things. I wrote: Churches attract all kinds of people with varying motivations for being a part of a particular religion. I spent fifty years in the Independent Baptist/Non-Denominational/Evangelical church. When it comes … [Read more...]

Churches That Abuse: Part 1 Why Good People Do Bad Things and why Bad People Do Bad Things

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserChurches attract all kinds of people with varying motivations for being a part of a particular religion. I spent fifty years in the Independent Baptist/Non-Denominational/Evangelical church. When it comes to other religions, I only know what I read in the media. The experiences and observations I share in this post come from the fifty years I spent in those churches, first as a parishioner, and later as a pastor. I spent twenty-five years in the pastorate, pastoring churches in Ohio, Michigan, and Texas. … [Read more...]

Part 9 Reacting from a Place of Vulernability – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace used with permissionBefore developing as fairly functional internal locus of control and as strong sense of worth, and until former members work through how to relate to others with both good internal and external boundaries, things can be very difficult for them. There's so much to do immediately. … [Read more...]

Part 7: Finding a Healthy Locus of Control – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace used with permissionWe've already noted that a person's concept of self suffers while in a high demand group or family, since the member's sense of worth must be derived from the group. Though they may appear to have autonomy, their choices are bound and limited to that which is determined by the group. … [Read more...]

‘Christian’ or Christ-Like (Of Apes and Men)

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI recently introduced my younger sons to the Planet of the Apes movie series. Having worked our way through the 5 original movies (and turned a blind eye to the 2001 abomination) we then watched the 2011 reboot, 'Rise' and its sequel, 'Dawn'.Needless to say, the whole concept of two intelligent species vying for supremacy of the planet has given rise to some interesting conversations. Personally, I have found myself musing on the portrayal of the relationship between ape and mankind, and particularly the idea that both species had their share of 'good' and 'evil' characters. … [Read more...]


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