“Biblical” Parenting, Criticism #1: A Parent Who Assumes The Worst

by LatebloomerThe task of reviewing Reb Bradley's book "Child Training Tips" has been a lot more challenging than I expected.  First of all, where do I start when I disagree with almost every sentence that this book contains?  I can find almost no common ground on which to begin.  And how can I explain my reasons for disagreement when the very things that I see as horrifying are held up as admirable goals by the author?Because of these difficulties, I have decided that these posts will simply be a way for Present Me to explain to Past Me that this so-called "Biblical" parenting is damaging to individuals and relationships because it sacrifices all other virtues for the sake of au … [Read more...]

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News Links September 5, 2012

Sometimes churches need to be reminded that if they campaign for a certain party or candidate they put their tax exempt status at risk - ChicoER - Editorial: Church runs afoul of rulesThere's an interesting article by Jenny Rae Armstrong over at Red Letter Christians about Patriarchy, Pop Culture, and PornograpyThoughts on handling a large family after leaving Quiverfull Patriarch world far behind. Recovering from Religion - When the Grass Looks Greener Elsewhere- Be Sure the Fertilizer Works in Your Yard!And for anyone that needs a reminder of poisonous and destructive Patriarchy and Quiverfull beliefs can be just one quick read through the Duggar-approved 7 Basic Needs of a … [Read more...]

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In The Spotlights Glare – Are The Duggar Family & The Bates Family Media Whores?

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by CaluluAnother television season is upon us again and that means one thing. More of the Duggars "19 Kids and Counting". The show starts anew on Tuesday, August 28th on TLC Channel at 9 pm est. This year their friends theBates have a show too - "The United Bates of America" There are preview videos for both series up now on the TLC website.Looking through both videos I have noticed one thing, both families have changed a great deal in the short time they've been in the spot light. Which is ironic considering how Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have stated from the beginning that they are to be a light shining out to the world, a shining city on the hill. That's not quite what I'm … [Read more...]

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NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

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The Emotional and Psychological Consequences of Authoritarian Religion

by Bruce Gerencser(Cross posted from Bruce's blog The Way Forward)Over the past few years I have met countless people who have escaped authoritarian religions like the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement or your every day garden variety Evangelical church. Authoritarian ecclesiastical structures and authoritarian pastors dominate the lives of those who come under their spell.Most authoritarian churches believe God ordained a chain of command, not only in the church but in the home. These churches almost always practice complementarianism.Wikipedia defines complementarianism as: A theological view held by some in Christianity and other world … [Read more...]

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“Don’t Talk About It”

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by Kristen Rosser(Cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's Words)I was in college, living in an ex-fraternity house made over into a Christian boarding house for members of Maranatha Campus Ministries.  It was 1983 or 84.The leaders of Maranatha, Bob Weiner and Joe Smith, had come up with another new revelation that they said was from God.  They took their text from John 15:8:"By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples."Bob Weiner and Joe Smith said that by "bearing fruit," Jesus meant "making converts."  This meant, they said, that the more converts to Christ you made, the more you had "proved to be His disciple."  Therefore, t … [Read more...]

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NLQ FAQ Revisited: Are Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar “Quiverfull”?

by HopewellQ: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular mother … [Read more...]

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Millipede: Part 18

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by MillipedeI was willing to let bygones be bygones on the church issue. After all, my husband wasn't going to force the issue on me.There were other problems appearing on the horizon After such a great start following the bariatric surgery old habits were coming back . At first my husband noticed it and would make comments about how he needed to get out and do stuff. He quite going to the support group. It was during the winter and they had quit meeting for a couple of months due to the weather. When the weather got better, he claimed that the group hadn't started meeting and after that he never looked for another one. Worse, his meal portion sizes grew. It got to where the servings … [Read more...]

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An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

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by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

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Who Was That Masked Man Part 13 – Finis

by CaluluLet's recap: Tom Smith has just spent something like nearly fifteen years meddling in my life under the guise of 'Christian Brotherhood' and we'd just left the church we attended with him for a mainstream denomination in our town. He'd led the villagers in a figurative angry mob with torches against us to try and make my husband and myself return to our old church. There was no turning back at this point....The angry emails proclaiming fire, brimstone and angry celestial judgment started to ease off till after a few years there were only a few every six months or so. The rumors getting back to me about myself were becoming very less frequent even if some of those I had … [Read more...]

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