NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

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The Emotional and Psychological Consequences of Authoritarian Religion

by Bruce Gerencser(Cross posted from Bruce's blog The Way Forward)Over the past few years I have met countless people who have escaped authoritarian religions like the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement or your every day garden variety Evangelical church. Authoritarian ecclesiastical structures and authoritarian pastors dominate the lives of those who come under their spell.Most authoritarian churches believe God ordained a chain of command, not only in the church but in the home. These churches almost always practice complementarianism.Wikipedia defines complementarianism as: A theological view held by some in Christianity and other world … [Read more...]

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“Don’t Talk About It”

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by Kristen Rosser(Cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's Words)I was in college, living in an ex-fraternity house made over into a Christian boarding house for members of Maranatha Campus Ministries.  It was 1983 or 84.The leaders of Maranatha, Bob Weiner and Joe Smith, had come up with another new revelation that they said was from God.  They took their text from John 15:8:"By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples."Bob Weiner and Joe Smith said that by "bearing fruit," Jesus meant "making converts."  This meant, they said, that the more converts to Christ you made, the more you had "proved to be His disciple."  Therefore, t … [Read more...]

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NLQ FAQ Revisited: Are Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar “Quiverfull”?

by HopewellQ: Are the Duggars Quiverfull?By their own admission, Jim-Bob and Michelle were so “grieved” after reading the information pamphlet in a birth control pill package that they turned their fertility over to God. (“About Us” para.1 See also, Dallas News).  That decision has been the reason for their incredible family size of 19 children.Recently the media has offered several profiles of just who are “Quiverfull” families.Increasingly, the presence of such large, ideologically driven families is being documented through the medium of the age: reality TV shows and lifestyle cable channel specials, all of which campily depict Quiverfull life as like regular mother … [Read more...]

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Millipede: Part 18

drift

by MillipedeI was willing to let bygones be bygones on the church issue. After all, my husband wasn't going to force the issue on me.There were other problems appearing on the horizon After such a great start following the bariatric surgery old habits were coming back . At first my husband noticed it and would make comments about how he needed to get out and do stuff. He quite going to the support group. It was during the winter and they had quit meeting for a couple of months due to the weather. When the weather got better, he claimed that the group hadn't started meeting and after that he never looked for another one. Worse, his meal portion sizes grew. It got to where the servings … [Read more...]

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An Open Letter to Ellie Ponder Woman

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by CaluluDear Ellie Ponder Woman– Listen Please!Several days ago I was directed to your blog by a friend and before I knew it I was drawn in. I read every entry, particularly those involving the struggles in your marriage with incidents of domestic violence. You stated that you wanted to glorify God through your postings, testify to His mercy, love, restoration and miracles. Which is fine because every blog author has their own central theme.I know from reading your comments and commenting policy page that any concerns I might post for you there will only be deleted and considered hateful attacks by the enemy. I'm not writing about this out of hate, but concern for another human b … [Read more...]

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Who Was That Masked Man Part 13 – Finis

by CaluluLet's recap: Tom Smith has just spent something like nearly fifteen years meddling in my life under the guise of 'Christian Brotherhood' and we'd just left the church we attended with him for a mainstream denomination in our town. He'd led the villagers in a figurative angry mob with torches against us to try and make my husband and myself return to our old church. There was no turning back at this point....The angry emails proclaiming fire, brimstone and angry celestial judgment started to ease off till after a few years there were only a few every six months or so. The rumors getting back to me about myself were becoming very less frequent even if some of those I had … [Read more...]

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Millipede Part 16

transformation

by MillipedeMy story continued.......We were free from the world of Patriarchal religion. On a personal level, I began to blossom. I was working outside the home, not only paying the bills, but able to save a little money here and there. Gradually, the trappings of the Patriarchal movement fell away. I stopped wearing the Prairie wear, in fact I stopped wearing dresses and skirts altogether. I started listening to Rock music and even started listening to Heavy Metal again.My husband was headed down another path. He was adrift, like a rudderless ship he had no direction. We had a few Sundays where we did some Scripture readings in an attempt to have a "home Church" but they … [Read more...]

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Millipede Part 15

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by MillipedeI watched in the oncoming month as my husband's church world came apart. Everything carried a taint of the break; sermons where a new point of view was explained, the fellowship afterwards that was a shadow of its former self. I watched as my husband hung back while our pastor conversed with the other families, the passing hours no longer found found my husband in a tight circle of men fervently talking theology. With the spell of close friendship broken, my husband started leaving early, sometimes within the hour after service.I felt sorry for him, it's sad to see someone's dream crash about them. On the other hand.....I couldn't wait to get out the door. Years of … [Read more...]

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Who Was That Masked Man Part 12

by CaluluI think I cried off and on for a solid eighteen months after we switched churches. It was difficult. What made it even worse was the fact that Tom Smith had apparently told everyone in the Del/Mar/Va area that a) we weren't believers any longer, b) we went to a church of homosexual abortionists and c) we were going to hell. He had said this so long and so loudly that when I tried to keep up with friendships from the old church I was told things like what my friend Dana said.Dana and I had roomed together at conferences. We'd hosted each others kids to conferences. We were like sisters. I took her son on an international vacation with us for several weeks and my son and … [Read more...]

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