Millipede: Part 25

by MillipedeThings settled down. My ex took the breakup in stride. We both talked about remaining friends. Now that I didn't have to be his caretaker/servant/mom (what a strange combo) I felt better. No longer was dread a daily companion, I was free from all of that.We both did the "let's stay friends" bit. It seemed like that it might work. My ex seemed to have adapted wonderfully to the fact that we were splitting up. He even looked at options whereby he would move out so as to save me the trouble of moving. Things didn't work out, but at least he was being considerate. We got along better, now that the tension was down. I was ready to take my time, save my money for the … [Read more...]

“Biblical” Parenting: Introduction

by LatebloomerEvery once in a while, I realize something shockingly obvious, something that confronts yet another false assumption that has managed to cling to my mind even as I've moved further and further away from my fundamentalist Christian roots.In the whole Bible, there is not a single verse that credits parents for having raised a good child.  Nothing from God, nothing from any adult sons or daughters in the Bible.  Not one word of thanks, not one word of credit.It would be easy to insert a few parental credit verses into the Bible.  Maybe we could add a little phrase here or there in the Old Testament, such as "King David, because of his godly parents," or "Moses, thanks t … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 24 – The Breakup

shattered

by MillipedeThe next day I got up. As I showered and got dressed I thought of the previous night's events. I was tired, a bit worried, but mostly resolved. I was going to have a final talk with my husband; lay the cards on the table concerning our future.The discussion started as others had before with me sharing my concerns about my husband's drinking. Of course, my husband denied that he had a problem and our argument followed the trail. It was clear to me as we argued, that my husband was in his usual denial mode and I knew what that meant for the future. I couldn't not live under that sort of stress. It was time to act.I told my husband that if this was how he felt about the … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 23

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by MillipedeThe moment of truth came one Saturday night. No surprises there. Of course, my husband had decided to have something to drink. I abstained of course, someone would have to be ready to call 911. Even though the any possible seizure would not occur until the following day, a 400+ pound man could get into a lot of trouble if he fell of his chair during a nodding phase. Plus, who knows, this time the seizure might come earlier.Things were going well as expected. The slurring had started just a bit and my husband nodded off only once. off had. My husband mixed another drink which he said would be his last of the night.I watched with relief as he finished the cup. We had … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ Revisited: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?There are two important factors to consider in this situation:1) H … [Read more...]

Biology 101 Anyone?

jawdrop

by CaluluWhen I first read the headline this weekend I was incredulous. I sat there dumb founded just staring at the screen, not believing what I was reading, this newest cannon volley that is the  war on women and women's reproductive rights. Sadly it wasn't a joke.This is what I saw - Republican Senate Nominee: Victims of 'Legitimate Rape' Don't Get PregnantSurely even the most scantily educated people in this country wouldn't fall for such an obvious falsehood. Or at least anyone that's taken basic biology at the high school level would know this was simply not true. Our bodies are no different than other mammals in that respect. Conception happens if the conditions are right … [Read more...]

Millipede Part 22

by MillipedeAmidst all the craziness with the alcohol, there was yet another worrying development which had crept up.As I mentioned before, my marriage had developed two fronts;one being my husband's self destructive propensities and the second which came later, that being his embrace of religious Patriarchy. The booze crisis came in with a flash, but that didn't mean that trouble wasn't brewing on the ol' Patriarchy front.Despite his new alcohol problem, my husband remained devoutly involved with the church. It was bitterly ironic and a testament to his hypocrisy, but it didn't stop my husband. In fact, I noticed the return of an old attitude, the one where he was lord over the … [Read more...]

The Emotional and Psychological Consequences of Authoritarian Religion

by Bruce Gerencser(Cross posted from Bruce's blog The Way Forward)Over the past few years I have met countless people who have escaped authoritarian religions like the Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) church movement or your every day garden variety Evangelical church. Authoritarian ecclesiastical structures and authoritarian pastors dominate the lives of those who come under their spell.Most authoritarian churches believe God ordained a chain of command, not only in the church but in the home. These churches almost always practice complementarianism.Wikipedia defines complementarianism as: A theological view held by some in Christianity and other world … [Read more...]

“Don’t Talk About It”

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by Kristen Rosser(Cross posted from her blog Wordgazer's Words)I was in college, living in an ex-fraternity house made over into a Christian boarding house for members of Maranatha Campus Ministries.  It was 1983 or 84.The leaders of Maranatha, Bob Weiner and Joe Smith, had come up with another new revelation that they said was from God.  They took their text from John 15:8:"By this is My Father glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples."Bob Weiner and Joe Smith said that by "bearing fruit," Jesus meant "making converts."  This meant, they said, that the more converts to Christ you made, the more you had "proved to be His disciple."  Therefore, t … [Read more...]

Sexuality Project – Introducing Calulu, Jenn, Meggie, Parker, Shadowspring and Vyckie

(Cross posted from Sierra's blog - the phoenix and olive branch)Welcome to another round of the Religious Fundamentalism and Sexuality Project! This time, our writers are Calulu, Jenn, Meggie, Parker, Shadowspring and Vyckie.Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, a conservative Christian women’s ministry leader.Last time, we heard from Melissa and Haley, Lina and V, Latebloomer and Katy-Anne. If you’re like me, you laughed and wept with them, and I’ve no doubt you will with this group, too. Sexuality is a facet of life that seems to color all kinds of other things, from body image to relationships with our own friends and children. The previous group included people who were … [Read more...]


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