Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

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by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

Leaving Before You Are Ready

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI wasn’t going to post anything but the 21 Days of Healing series until after it was done, but seriously, this just deserves to be posted.When I was tossed out of my church, a “friend” from the church (who still spies on me by following this blog) invited me that next week to have coffee with her. We spent several hours at a coffee bar the next town south of where the church is located talking about what was happening. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Dones?

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by Mark Sandlin from the Patheos blog The God Article - The Rise of 'The Dones' as the Church Kills Spiritual Community Mark is also the founder of The Christian LeftExcellent article and observations. Many of us from the former Quiverfull community are now part of 'The Dones', being told we were never 'real' Christians or we would have never walked away in the first place.  Predictably there are a few True Believers in the comments slinging Bible verses and hate. How about you, dear readers? Are you a SBNR, The Nones or part of The Dones? … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

Listening, Learning, Growing

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This is Suzanne and I have a quick foreword here as an introduction to Vyckie Garrison's piece. You know, it's hard sometimes for people in different stages of healing and different perspectives to actually understand the pain of the other. … [Read more...]

So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next?: PTSD – I am a Living Wound

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Lisa Kerr from My Cult Life and the Lisa Kerr blog put up a blog posting a few weeks ago about a book excerpt in Vanity Fair magazine's most current issue.The book that is being featured in that issue is Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis: The Untold Story by Barbara Learning. It will be published within the month and can be pre-ordered at Amazon right now. … [Read more...]

Richard Dawkins and Rape Rape

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy, FeminismI have a friend who was raped by a friend of hers—someone she had had sex with before. It’s just that this time, she said no, she wasn’t up for it at the moment, and he didn’t stop. It wasn’t “violent”—she basically disassociated and laid there in shock that this was happening to her. He was someone she had trusted. This experience led my friend into some risky behavior—she figured there wasn’t any point in keeping herself safe, as there was no “safe”—and ultimately put her into therapy with serious PDST and terrible, incurable nightmares. She recently told me she doesn’t think marriage will ever be in the cards for her—because o … [Read more...]

Brave New Life: Part 2 Coming Out When You Expect The Worst

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by Melissa cross posted from her blog Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series, click here to start with the introduction.We were in our new home, we were starting to un-pack. We even went to the library and got library cards. But it wasn’t time to relax yet, there was still one thing left to do. We had to come out. We had taken the baby steps, we had come out to ourselves and each other, that was huge, and then we had confided in a select few who we knew to be compassionate and supportive, but the next step was a whole different game. … [Read more...]

What is the Bravest Thing You’ve Ever Done?

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I am PhoenixThe bravest thing I have done so far in my life has been allowing myself to feel.I was able to make it as far as I did  in life appearing on the outside to be normal and functional because I buried the past. Completely. I didn't talk about it to anyone, and I didn't acknowledge it to myself.Being numb to it was the only way I could survive. I purposely hung around with people who didn't talk about feelings or emotional things. I buried who I was, even if it meant I also had to bury my intuition, my creativity, my feelings, my empathy, and any form of introspection. … [Read more...]


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