When you haven’t been hurt

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by Mattie ChathamSometimes I wonder how I sound to the rest of the evangelical world, to those who weren’t subjected to fringe patriarchal teachings from grace-forgetting complementarians, those who never fought the fear that comes with legalism from your pulpit, those who don’t have to shake the guilt hangover from their … [Read more...]

Pray It Away

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by CaluluOne of the saddest legacies of Fundamentalist Evangelical Patriarchal Christianity is that of the way mental illness and other serious issues are treated.Instead of being urged to seek appropriate help for serious conditions such as depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, or autism most of the … [Read more...]

Parenting & the Super Religious

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by CaluluLatebloomer from the NLQ Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network has written an excellent series right now based upon reviewing the parenting advice in Reb Bradley's book 'Child Training Tips'  She's done an outstanding job on this topic and I have to admit it triggers me just a bit. Triggers some of my experiences back in the old church.During my years in Fundamentalism Evangelicalism I never encountered Reb Bradley's book. The one that was pushed upon me constantly was Michael and Debi Pearl's "To Train Up A Child". I read through it once, horror-struck by the suggestions in the book, finding it ridiculously harsh and thinking that raising your children like little obeying … [Read more...]

Mama’s Choice – Part 6: Inception

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by Vyckie GarrisonEver since I watched the movie, Inception, I've wanted to shout to the world, Wow - that happened to me! And here I thought Quiverfull was my own idea all along!!If you haven't seen the movie, here's a quick summary: "Inception" is the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious. A thief, who possesses the ability to project himself deep inside the subconscious of a victim's mind in order to steal their ideas, is hired to reverse the process - he must plant an idea so skillfully that the subject will act against his own best interests and according to another man's wishes, all the while, firmly believing that his choice to do so is … [Read more...]

News Links September 13, 2012

There really wasn't much this week that crossed my desktop to post here so today I'm going to be featuring links to some great pieces written by our members of The Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network.Libby Anne at Love, Joy, Feminism has a slew of interesting things she's blogged on this week - I recommend starting with "Navigating the Cultural Transition" - thoughts on leaving the religious culture for the world.Sierra at The Phoenix and Olive Branch invokes Dr. Who in discussing Nature and God - "Nature's God"KR Wordgazer at Wordgazer's Words has written more on male headship in the church and family - "Assumptions Make You-Not-Whats Out of You and Me"Cindy Foster at … [Read more...]

Pornography and the Fundy

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by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

Westboro Baptist Church comment on No Longer Quivering: Judge who sentenced child abuser “clearly wasn’t spanked enough as a child”

Westboro Baptist Church No Longer Quivering

by Vyckie GarrisonI just came across this graphic on Facebook. We recently had someone from Westboro Baptist Church post a hate-filled, bible-thumping comment on No Longer Quivering - guess we must be doing something right to have attracted WBC's attention. (◕‿◕✿) Dane County Judge Maryann Sumi sentenced Pastor Philip Caminiti to 2 years in prison for preaching the standard of God Almighty as spelled out in the scriptures. This unjust judge swung her judicial gavel at God and the clear teachings of the Bible on how to love one’s children: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (Proverbs 13:24). Judge Sumi called it conspiracy to commit ch … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 7

by CaluluAfter the incident with the pregnant daughter of a friend we had another reprieve from Tom and Tina. We'd see them at church but they'd stopped coming to the bible study group. I'd heard that they were both going through this other ministry's counseling. The other ministry sounded sort of like Scientology in that you have to confess all your deepest darkest sins, area by area each week to the counseling team and then the team would lead you in repentance, prayer and forgiveness. It kept the Smiths out of our hair for about a year with the exception of about every other month one of the Smiths would corner me and demand we all become friends again.No chance of that. Even our … [Read more...]

Justice is No Lady: Chapter 11: Jack, the One I Lost

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by Tess WilloughbyWhen Jack was just a baby, Nate had rejected Jack’s personality, and had set out to beat and berate it out of him. When Jack reached middle school age, or perhaps a little bit before, the seeds that his father had planted suddenly sprouted. Jack began to come unraveled. “Something is wrong with me,” he said. “I’m messed up.”Jack began to abuse his little sisters. His grades slipped. He had been my comedian, making jokes about everything all day. Now, he moped. He refused to play sports. He would not bathe.If anyone touched Jack, even to restrain him or remove dangerous objects from his hands, Nate took Jack to magistrates to swear out warrants that Jack was being … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 1

by CaluluThis is a new series that I'm starting. I actually started writing about my history with the one person that impacted me the most during my days at the old church. I'm flip, I'm sarcastic in this series but mostly I am processing what happened to me because it seems like a plot straight out of the recently cancelled series GCB (Good Christian Bitches). After telling my therapist years ago about this man I was encouraged to write it all down. I did and if I didn't laugh and poke fun I'd be crying right now. It was the most corrosive relationship I've ever been in and I didn't even have the common sense to run from it. I've changed names and some small details because until … [Read more...]


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