Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

NashvilleSunset

by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

5 Early Warning Signs of Toxic People

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by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons A blogging friend of mine, Boze Herrington, asked a question the other day: what are some warning signs of toxic people? Many people thoughtfully responded with articulations of some of the “classic” red flags: they refuse to respect your boundaries, they routinely accuse people who are stating their opinion neutrally or even gracefully as being “abusive” and/or “hateful,” they frequently resort to name-calling … … [Read more...]

Leaving Before You Are Ready

doorknob

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

Day 10 of 21 Days of Healing: WWJS?

sunset

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsPlease remember to remind yourself of the truth of who God says you are. Some days will be harder than others, but in the end, as you change your thoughts from the judgmental, demeaning messages of abuse to the unconditional love of God, you will find healing for your heart.Let’s work on that a little deeper today.Day 10: What would Jesus Say? … [Read more...]

Gaslighting Heated Up

gaslightingmeme

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsYou can read Part 1 here.In my last post, I had just touched my toe to the cess pool of gaslighting and how it had impacted my experience with spiritual abuse. But then a comment on that post prodded me to delve a bit deeper into the practice of gaslighting. It wasn’t long before long-dormant memories were being stirred as I read, listened, and learned more and more about how gaslighters operate and how their behavior impacts their victims. … [Read more...]

Day 9 of 21 Days of Healing: No Strings Attached

treatyou

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10I hope you focus on this verse today because if you have suffered spiritual abuse, you have encountered a thief intent on stealing, killing, and destroying you. So cling to the life that Jesus gives – abundant life!And that’s what today’s post is about, too. … [Read more...]

Gaslighting

Lamplighter Lighting Gas Street Light

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts Editor's Note: We've covered this topic before but it never hurts to revisit some of the basics of harmful practices in churches and the world.I’ve been reading a bit about gas-lighting lately and at first I didn’t think that it played a part in my spiritual abuse. Maybe that’s because many of the articles and blogs that I read assumed that we all know what gas-lighting is already and so they didn’t give a very complete description or definition. I think it was the word “crazy” that finally hit home with me. Essentially, as I started putting it all together, I determined that gas-lighting is when someone tries to make you believe y … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Complain Ever Because God?

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by Nancy Campbell of Above Rubies - You Are Destined For ThisIf you're even thinking about complaining about anything Nancy Campbell, Evangelical Cultural Enforcer, is poised above your head to hit you with a Biblical fly swatter and a reminder to shut up because it could be worse. Or maybe God had planned all this torment for you to 'refine' you or as a test. What type of all loving all knowing deity tortures people for no good reason? Because Bible! … [Read more...]

Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

Day 7 of 21 Days of Healing: Obsession Appointments

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsKeep reminding yourself of how much God loves you. Choose a scripture, song, inspirational statement that you can remember throughout the day.While I began this practice shortly after being tossed out of the church, I must credit my friend, Jennifer Boykin, with the term “Obsession Appointments.” … [Read more...]


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