What Are You Doing? Chapter 3 – Girls Just Wanna Have Sex

by Suzanne TitkemeyerGentlemen start your engines and let the slut-shaming commence! It's an all slut-shaming inappropriate conversations with odd guys in the park extravaganza!The title of this chapter is 'The Importance of Boyfriends' and as the chapter unfolds Von makes it sound as if boyfriends were the newest trendy accessory, like a Fendi bag or a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes with the bright red soles or a French tip mani/pedi. Not that author Vaughn Ohlman is familiar with the must haves, unless it's the must have items in fundamentalism, a crisp KJV Bible, an ironed floor length skirt and a pack of 'ministry mints' Altoids in your pocket just in case you have to do an … [Read more...]

Daring Greatly

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown.  I am reading this book because it’s kind of a prerequisite for a workshop that my husband and I are going to attend in a couple of weeks called “The Daring Way” and it is based on the work of Brene Brown.I’m fascinated by this book.It’s a book about living vulnerably. … [Read more...]

Daffodils of Integration: First Promise of Joy Through Recovery

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace James Taylor's melancholy Fire and Rain which laments the unexpected loss of a friend, and I now think of the loss of integration of trauma when I hear him sing “sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.”In a way, that is what trauma does to us. Our dreams break apart, perhaps because they weren't very realistic but sometimes because we don't have time to realize them because we're so busy trying to figure out how to put ourselves back together. Sometimes, we just can't recover all that we've lost. Sometimes, we lose our ability to fly because the pieces lay on the ground, smashed and broken because of what hap … [Read more...]

A New Springtime: Daffodils Reclaimed (A glimpse into Stage Three recovery)

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission I wonder what I thought when I was old enough to find those scattered daffodils in the woods behind my parents' house. I must have been quite young, for in my mind, I seem to have always known that they were there. … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Sibling Relations?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical,  rational and the best possible solution, in other words 1 … [Read more...]

Daffodils Grieved in Recovery

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission After the first stage of recovery where we find safety and stability (things we sometimes must learn about for the first time), we find ourselves in a place of revisiting trauma to see it for what it is. … [Read more...]

10 Red Flags About Christian Celebrities and Ministries

Taken from the comments and written by one of NLQ's commenters Abigail Smith on Samantha Field's The Smell Test: 5 Signs of a Toxic ChurchI formulated these “10 Red Flags” about “Christian" celebrities and ministries during my escape from QF over the last few years1) Unbalanced- you just sense something is wrong but it sounds good and holy and everything is “backed up” with scripture verses (antidote: the gospel is so simple that even children can understand it) … [Read more...]

On Being A Woman

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's MusesImages from Mari's Muses.I’ve been reading this book the past few days: … [Read more...]

Considering Angst as a Healthy Part of Growth While Anticipating Mother’s Day

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman at Under Much Grace and used with permissionEditor's note: Knowing that holidays can be fraught with difficulties while you are recovering and that many have issues with both mothers and daughters I felt this piece was applicable for our upcoming Mother's Day holiday. May your day be filled with no drama.The Quiverfull and Patriarchy Movements in Evangelical Christianity (which are strongly associated with the Religious Right and with the homeschooling movement among Christians) understand any deviation “from family” as a great moral problem.Family translates for many as only the spe … [Read more...]

Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd “There are two kinds of power. One kills the spirit. The other nourishes the spirit. The first is Power Over. The other is Personal Power. Power Over shows up as control and dominance. Personal Power shows up as mutuality and co-creation. Mutuality is a way of being with a person which promotes the growth and well-being of one's self and the other person by means of clear communication and empathetic understanding. Co-creation is a consciously shared participation in life which helps one reach one's goals.” … [Read more...]