Day 11 of 21 Days of Healing: Getting What You Want

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by Elllen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsWe’re half way through the 21 Days. By this time, if you are working on changing your brain and reminding yourself of how God sees you, you will start to notice that you are turning the corner and beginning to believe more of God’s truth than the lies you received from the abuse you have suffered. Keep up the good work!Day 11When I think about what I wanted from my church, the list looks like this: … [Read more...]

5 Early Warning Signs of Toxic People

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by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons A blogging friend of mine, Boze Herrington, asked a question the other day: what are some warning signs of toxic people? Many people thoughtfully responded with articulations of some of the “classic” red flags: they refuse to respect your boundaries, they routinely accuse people who are stating their opinion neutrally or even gracefully as being “abusive” and/or “hateful,” they frequently resort to name-calling … … [Read more...]

Leaving Before You Are Ready

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixHow easy is it to leave a cult? For me personally, the answer is "not very." I pay close attention to the stories of those who have left a religious cult. I admit I am a little envious of the females who made their escape from their family's cult by marrying a man who whisked them away from it all. I wish I had that ticket available back then. It wasn't available to me because I was terrified of men. I was especially afraid of Christian men because of the religious Christian monster my father was. And I was also scared of the so called secular, worldly men because linking up with them meant my life would be cursed with demons attacking me, an … [Read more...]

Day 10 of 21 Days of Healing: WWJS?

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsPlease remember to remind yourself of the truth of who God says you are. Some days will be harder than others, but in the end, as you change your thoughts from the judgmental, demeaning messages of abuse to the unconditional love of God, you will find healing for your heart.Let’s work on that a little deeper today.Day 10: What would Jesus Say? … [Read more...]

Day 8 or 21 Days of Healing: The Arena

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Keep your heart with all diligence . . . ” Prov. 4:23A big “aha!” moment for me came when I went to a conference based on Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly.In the book, Brene describes our lives as being lived in an arena. We all live in an arena with people sitting in the seats around us, watching.What we must determine is who sits where. Who gets to sit in the box seats – the places of honor in our lives? Who gets to sit in the cheap seats? … [Read more...]

Day 6 of 21 Days of Healing: The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Lo, I am with you always.” (Keep reminding yourself the truth of what God says. It is so critical to change your thinking about who you are in Christ.)You know how jigsaw puzzles have a beautiful picture on the top of the box and the pieces inside are supposed to all fit together to recreate that picture? That’s what I expected church to be like. I expected that the things that I read in my bible, heard from the pulpit and in classes and seminars at my church would be played out in the way that we all lived life together. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Dones?

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by Mark Sandlin from the Patheos blog The God Article - The Rise of 'The Dones' as the Church Kills Spiritual Community Mark is also the founder of The Christian LeftExcellent article and observations. Many of us from the former Quiverfull community are now part of 'The Dones', being told we were never 'real' Christians or we would have never walked away in the first place.  Predictably there are a few True Believers in the comments slinging Bible verses and hate. How about you, dear readers? Are you a SBNR, The Nones or part of The Dones? … [Read more...]

Day 4 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaiming Your Power Part 3

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid for the Lord is my strength and my song; He also has become my salvation.” Is 12:2,3 Day 4: The balance of power. … [Read more...]

Day 2 of 21 Days of Healing: Reclaim Your Power – Part 1

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by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFirst, let me remind you that if you are walking through these 21 Days of Healing, keep working on Day 1. “God loves you with an everlasting love.”Now for Day 2: … [Read more...]

Listening, Learning, Growing

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This is Suzanne and I have a quick foreword here as an introduction to Vyckie Garrison's piece. You know, it's hard sometimes for people in different stages of healing and different perspectives to actually understand the pain of the other. … [Read more...]


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