Using Halos to Cope With Horns? Objectification as a Double-Edged Sword

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission.Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).Here's a radical thought as we continue to consider the trappings of the Halo Effect. (I've dubbed the other side of the idealization coin as the Horn Effect to describe cognitive bias that results in the demoralization of others.)People don't like to think that thinking v … [Read more...]

Halos and Objectification

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission. I've spent years reading, thinking, and writing about objectification – to treat someone as if they are a mere object instead of the unique, complex, and valuable person that they are. The cognitive bias of salience describes general aspects of this attribution error which overlaps with some others – that of objectifying people as primarily good or evil by splitting them and their worth entirely into only one one or the other. … [Read more...]

Kiss Your Monster on the Nose

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission. I first encountered this story near the end of the book An Adult Child's Guide to What's “Normal” by Friel and Friel, but beyond that, I have no idea where it originated.In many ways, I hope to make the monsters of Cognitive Biases something of friends by what they tell us about ourselves. May we continue to learn from our mistakes and those uncomfortable parts of ourselves that tend to scare us. May they become our respected friends and instruments for fostering healthy growth.Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in a village far fro … [Read more...]

Strategic Wisdom, Cognitive Bias and Poker

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission.Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI). … [Read more...]

Bruce, You Were No Good as a Pastor and You Hurt Our Family

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserEditor's note: Sharing this because it's healing to see someone who held a position of spiritual authority who is actually open to saying how sorry they are for the damage they caused, either directly or inadvertently. Most of us will never receive that 'Sorry' that we're owed by the one person that was charged with being out shepherd and with our care. Kudos to you. Bruce!Today, a man who says his name is Andrew Beltz, left a troubling comment on the Why I Hate Jesus post. Beltz wrote: … [Read more...]

Why My Common Cognitive Biases Make Me Lousy at Poker

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace are used with permission. Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).As I walked through this past year (recapped here), I recognized the familiar sense of panic that I felt during my last year in my spiritually abusive (cultic) church. A number of years ago, I'd become involved with a new group of people that aspired to achieve some ide … [Read more...]

Wishful Thinking and Jello

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceImages by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. This is another article in the Cindy's Cognitive Biases series. I remember when I was head over heels (sometimes literally) in that Toronto Blessing Movement in Word of Faith, I could feel the disappointment coming. I was probably about ten pounds overweight at the time, and I went on an extended fast. I stopped checking my weight when I was three weeks in, and I'd dropped about 35 pounds. I continued to fast until I “believed” I'd achieved what I'd set out to overcome, but I didn't weigh myself again. I do remember when my weight shot about 35 pounds ahead … [Read more...]

When Cognitive Biases Hit Too Close To Home

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceJust a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).All images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission.We don't come with a user's manual for our parents when we're born, and no one gives us one when we head towards adulthood. We are human, and as the old slogan goes, “Children learn what they live. … [Read more...]

Deeply Planted Seeds of Cognitive Bias

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceContinuing on in Cindy's excellent series on the role cognitive bias plays in spiritual abuse and recovery. All images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. This is a tweeked excerpt from a post that I wrote a few years ago, prompted by Cindy Foster's reflection on a blog post about a blog post (Rachel Held Evans' The Scandal of the Evangelical Heart)     Reflecting on my own, consistently repeated cognitive biases, I thought that this might give the reader some insight into how illogical ideas can become so entrenched in our natures and the ways we learn to we see the world. I still find th … [Read more...]

Abuse Does Exist and We Will Not Shut Up! – Answering Father Longenecker

by Suzanne TitkemeyerThis morning as I was drinking my first reviving and refreshing cup of coffee and scrolling through Facebook a post by another Patheos author came up on my feed that pulled me in. Actually, it was quite triggering, raising my blood pressure more than any coffee could. It was by the Catholic Channel author Father Longenecker from several years ago and involves a subject dear to my heart that forms the core of why No Longer Quivering exists in the first place - Spiritual Abuse.Longenecker  - does not come out and name any specific groups or persons that he's calling a Post-Christian Crybaby Bully in his article, but as you read on, clicking through the multi-page … [Read more...]