Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]

How They Hook You – Spotting Logical Fallacies and Propaganda Techniques

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much More Grace Spotting Logical Fallacies and Propaganda TechniquesThe techniques of thought reform as defined by Robert Lifton are based upon a series of logical leaps and informal logical fallacies. Knowing the basics of commonly used fallacies and propaganda techniques can help reduce the likelyhood of manipulation. Like a good batter … [Read more...]

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace  Please enjoy the reflections of Stephen Parsons as he visits the Island of Crete. (The post in its entirety struck me as so lovely and deep using a powerful analogy that I have not even noted here, it is well worth the visit to Surviving Church to read it.): … [Read more...]

What’s Your Motive? To Hurt? To Help? To Heal?

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI haven’t yet publicly posted the last two parts of my story on this blog.  I’m checking my motive before I do that.  Because, while all the names have been changed and only one person that knows me personally is following this blog (and I suspect has shared it with church leadership), I want to be sure that when I post it publicly, it is not to hurt, but to help others to heal. … [Read more...]

Worthy of Repeating

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace used with permission. … [Read more...]

Faith, Feedback and False Consensus

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission.Part of Cindy's series on CranioRectal Inversions Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI). … [Read more...]

A CranioRectal Inversion as Both Nemesis and Insightful Tool

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).The False Consensus Bias refers to a tendency to overestimate the number of people who share our views, beliefs, values, and behaviors. I tend to think of Descartes' “I think therefore I am.” If I start with myself at the center of my understanding, it seems to naturally foll … [Read more...]

Pull Your Head Out to Avoid Variations on Attribution Errors

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission. Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI). … [Read more...]

Fascinating False Attributions and Representative Heuristics

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much Grace.All images by Cindy Kunsman of Under Much Grace and used with permission. Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI). … [Read more...]

The Dunning-Krueger Effect in High Demand Relationships

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and Under Much Grace and used with permission. Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).I think of this as knowing just enough about something to be dangerous. Basically, people – roughly two thirds of people – who lack training in a certain topic grossly overestimate their skill and aptitude by wrongly assuming that they hold mastery of it.  They project confi … [Read more...]