My Abusive Relationship Was Typical

Samantha

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons Trigger warning for abuse and sexual violence Last week, I wrote an article for xoJane and I shared some things about my past that I haven’t shared on the internet before. I don’t enjoy talking about my abusive relationship at all, and I especially avoid thinking about my last semester at PCC, which was nightmarish with exceedingly few good memories. I was extremely vulnerable in that piece, knowing that there would be people around the internet that would shit on it. … [Read more...]

Lourdes Torres, Christian Homeschooling and Consent

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy, Feminism I recently came upon an excellent example of what I was talking about when I wrote my “The Tale of Two Boxes” post several years ago. Homeschool leader Chris Jeub had this to say in a recent blog post titled “Patriarchy Has Got To Go“: In a nutshell, Phillips is being sued by his former nanny, someone he knew for over a decade and was very close to the Phillips family. Her lawyers have graphic details of Phillips forcing himself sexually, and Phillips’ lawyers are denying little of it, claiming “consensual” contact between adults. For those of us in the Christian homeschool community, this is just as bad as … [Read more...]

Coming Out of the Cult Closet

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix The last year has been full of shifts, most of them tumultuous, but most of them ending up being quite positive. In the actual moment, each change didn't feel positive. It felt like I was wearing skin that didn't fit me anymore, and I was trying to wrestle out of it. Much like a critter shedding it's old skin. Painful, itchy, uncomfortable, exhausting. But then each time I shed an old layer, it felt great afterwards to relax and sit in the sun, so to speak with spanking new skin that felt all new and glowing. … [Read more...]

TTUAC: Dogs, Soldiers and Disturbing Analogies

TTUAC

by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy, Feminism To Train Up A Child, pp. 2—3 OBEDIENCE TRAINING Most parents don’t think they can train their little children. Training does not necessarily require that the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him. Can’t a child be trained not to touch? … [Read more...]

So I’ve Been Spiritually Abused. What Next? – Dealing With Anxiety and Panic

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by Pastor Randy Orndorff of Culpeper United Methodist Church shared with permission from the church website Editor's Note: Pastor Randy is the pastor of the church I now attend after my years at the abusive Evangelical church in my past. He's a good guy, he possesses one of the most important important characteristics of a good pastor would wouldn't abuse you, he is not controlling. This new year he actually did something sort of revolutionary for a pastor, he preached an entire series on coping with the slings and arrows of real life. So as part of our series I'll be sharing some of his sermon notes here. The rest can be viewed at the CUMC website. … [Read more...]

Part 4: I Submit and “Resign”

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by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living Liminal In the weeks following that meeting with the board, there were many communications (mostly via email) which just deepened the wounding. As dramatic as it might sound, I felt like I was fighting for my very life. I begged for someone to listen to me, to hear what had been going on and help me find a way out of my pain. By this time, elder M had given up hope and resigned his membership. I desperately wanted to believe there was a better way to go, that people who claimed to follow Christ should be able to work this out together, that we didn’t have to stay trapped in an endless repetition of history! … [Read more...]

God’s Not Dead: Thoughts on Christianity and Romance

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by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Musings The other day, my Bible study group and I went to see God’s Not Dead. I enjoyed that the movie was one that made me think. If I have to sit and stare at a screen for longer than 5 minutes, it has to keep my mind engaged. This movie did that, and I enjoyed it. I’d have to watch the movie a few more times in order to be able to comment on the arguments for and against the existence of God. I might need to take notes or something — which is hard to do in a theater, so we won’t get into those arguments. … [Read more...]

CTBHHM: Don’t Talk To Me About Pain!

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by Libby Anne cross posted from her blog Love, Joy, Feminism Created To Be His Help Meet, pp. 168—170 We’re still in Debi’s chapter on love sex, remember. In case you’re wondering, there will be two more weeks of devoted to this chapter. Next week will cover a few more letters from fans, and the week after will cover “sexual perversions.” So, let’s get started on this week’s section! Trigger warning for abuse and marital rape. In this section, Debi explains sex and men’s need for it—and women’s “duty” to provide it—and it’s not pretty. … [Read more...]

Stand Up and Speak Your Truth

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by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am Phoenix I have always had a hard time standing up for myself. I chalk it up to the way I grew up. I grew up in a cult where women and children weren't allowed to speak up for themselves, especially when we were abused. We weren't allowed to ask "Why?" even in a quiet voice. We were to take abuse quietly, submissively, like Godly females would. Otherwise, all hell would break loose. So, my sisters and I grew up with blank, obedient minds. We were trained to obey male authority without question, and we had a healthy fear of the chain of command above us. We were Godly, submissive sheep who obeyed at the blink of an eye. We grew up with no defenses … [Read more...]

Pensacola Christian College & Me

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by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Defeating The Dragons If you’ve never meandered around xoJane, well, now is your golden opportunity. I’ve been a loyal reader for almost a year now, and it’s a pretty cool place. So, when an xoJane editor reached out to me and asked if I’d be willing to tell a piece of my story for them, you can imagine that my reaction looked a bit like this: … [Read more...]


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