Part 10 Pendulums and Plumb Lines – Adventures in Ambiguity

AA Dynamic vs Static

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. Like a swinging pendulum, when we exit a group, we can easily get caught up in the drama of life and created excitement, mistaking it for healthy living. (And keep in mind that as dynamic beings, we do swing out to extremes now and then, but we tend not to live in the extreme all of the time.) … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 9 Reacting from a Place of Vulernability – Adventures in Ambiguity

Cults squelch criticism

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace used with permissionBefore developing as fairly functional internal locus of control and as strong sense of worth, and until former members work through how to relate to others with both good internal and external boundaries, things can be very difficult for them. There's so much to do immediately. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 8: Hypervigilance in the Wider World – Adventures in Ambiguity

AA Uniformity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman and used with permission from Under Much GraceHigh demand groups manage tension and pain which arise from natural and healthy disagreements and differences by forcing uniformity. Again, we come back to the fact of life that we human beings are very dynamic and diverse, something that a group purports to “correct” for the member, giving the illusion that they've resolved that healthy tension. Anyone who espouses beliefs that are different from the group are discounted or demonized which further galvanizes the control that they hold over a member. In doing so, they force and reinforce the idea that t … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 4 – The Map is Not the Territory: Adventures in Abiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images in the piece by Cindy Kunsman and used with permission. And the territory is definitely not the map.   This saying came from a scientist and philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who launched the study of how human understanding and the nervous system intersected, particularly concerning how language shapes our perceptions. He was a Polish-born Russian who served in World War I as an intelligence officer, but he became a citizen of the U.S. In 1940.The original phrase that Korzybski coined in 1933 illustrates the problem of mistaking an abstraction of something for the genuine article. Another wise f … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

‘Christian’ or Christ-Like (Of Apes and Men)

livingliminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI recently introduced my younger sons to the Planet of the Apes movie series. Having worked our way through the 5 original movies (and turned a blind eye to the 2001 abomination) we then watched the 2011 reboot, 'Rise' and its sequel, 'Dawn'.Needless to say, the whole concept of two intelligent species vying for supremacy of the planet has given rise to some interesting conversations. Personally, I have found myself musing on the portrayal of the relationship between ape and mankind, and particularly the idea that both species had their share of 'good' and 'evil' characters. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 3 – Self-Regulation? What? How?: Adventures in Ambiguity

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceEditor's note: Cindy has oodles of very cute cat and kitten graphics at her site to illustrate her points. You should take a look at them on her site!)How can I possibly know anything about emotional self-regulation? I was faced and am often still faced with the quandary of growing up without it, not really knowing that I lacked it, and then trying to figure out how to develop it. And though trauma therapy helped me make great strides to develop it, I still have my days...The process works out differently for everyone, and some people have less difficulty than others.  This represents what I experienced in my journey … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 2 – Emotional Self Regulation: Adventures in Ambiguity

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceIn the previous post, we explored the problem created by the black and white thinking that was forced upon us in a high demand religious group. This is especially difficult if we grew up in an ideological group, because we likely didn't see anyone model moderation or another way of thinking. We end up adopting the strategy that if one thing is bad and unsafe, it's extreme opposite is likely the best safe alternative.High demand groups don't tolerate uniqueness, and they make the mistake of defining uniformity as a type of unity. They don't tolerate much of anything that falls outside whatever their group defines as … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Part 1 – Black and White Thinking After Exiting: Adventures in Ambiguity

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceI spent much time studying chemistry, thinking about the Bohr Model of the Atom, and I was so fascinated by the periodic table.  I suppose that along with math, it seemed like one of the few consistent things in my life.  Language could be misinterpreted, but chemistry presented a fixed, definitive type of truth.  And I lacked that in my life.How can something be true and untrue at the same time? … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

The Famous Ones

WhenChurchHurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsThere are big names out there in the spiritual abuse world.  Big name perpetrators.  Big name authors of blogs and books and Twitter feeds.  Big names whose social media accounts explode regularly over big names.  Big names getting the word out about big names who have committed outrageous acts of abuse.  And, of course, any time those outrageous acts are committed with any hint of ties to churchianity, we recognize them as not just sexual or domestic or physical abuse, but as spiritual abuse. … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!

Revisiting Generation Gaps and the Moral Imperative of Totalitarian Niceness

Undermuchgrace

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from Under Much GraceThe following list describes the desired traits that non-Christian young people desire to see in Christians, particularly among their elders as compiled by the authors of “unChristian: What A New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity....And Why It Matters.” When I presented quotes from this book on my blog last year, I suggested that we as believers should extend the same considerations to those who follow patriarchy as well as to young unbelievers. I would like to use this list (from pp 194-5 of the book) as a point of departure for relating to young adults in general. Those interviewed suggested that these considerations would imp … [Read more...]

Patheos Atheist LogoLike No Longer Quivering and Patheos Atheist on Facebook!


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X