Daughter of the Patriarchy: Ripping the Moorings Part 1

by SierraMy family’s most diligent deceit never worked on me. My father told me not to worry about money. My mother told me that my focus should be on getting an education. They both told me that they didn’t want me to end up the way they did, ensnared in a financial trap. They told me to let them worry about the bills and that it wasn’t my responsibility as a daughter to support us in the first place. But I knew that my going off to college would take a financial toll on my family, and I was right. After all, I was the one making the car payment.The first semester of college was both euphoric and terrifying. I worked around the clock on my coursework and established myself as the pre … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man Part 12

by CaluluI think I cried off and on for a solid eighteen months after we switched churches. It was difficult. What made it even worse was the fact that Tom Smith had apparently told everyone in the Del/Mar/Va area that a) we weren't believers any longer, b) we went to a church of homosexual abortionists and c) we were going to hell. He had said this so long and so loudly that when I tried to keep up with friendships from the old church I was told things like what my friend Dana said.Dana and I had roomed together at conferences. We'd hosted each others kids to conferences. We were like sisters. I took her son on an international vacation with us for several weeks and my son and … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Stuart of the Lovely Locks

 This is an installment of the Daughter of the Patriarchy series. Read the rest here.A couple of days after moving onto campus, Molly informed me that she was expecting a visitor. He was a friend from her Dungeons and Dragons group, coming by to pick up one of his books from their last game. Molly called him “Stuart of the Lovely Locks.”I turned around. “What?”“He has long hair,” she explained. “And it’s gorgeous. I just want to pet his hair all the time.”Of all the weird bonding moments. “I like long hair on guys,” I said shyly, and buried my face in a book. A sequence of long-haired men danced through my brain. I imagined the hair cascading down to his waist, li … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 11

by CaluluI went home crying, shocked that my pastor had gone back on his word like that. It was a betrayal that left me reeling emotionally. Cried for days feeling a sense of deep betrayal. The pastor was quiet that week, no emails or phone calls.I told my husband that I thought the time was right for me to join him at the other church and that I had no intention of going back to the old church as a member ever again. He was the recipient that afternoon of quite a few emails from Tom Smith telling him that he was dicing with his very salvation by attending this main stream denomination filled with homosexual abortionists.Fast forward a week. Hubby and I both agree that the best … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Safe Now

by SierraPrincesses do NOT eat turkey legs.A month after my acceptance, I was moving onto campus for my first autumn semester at Rowling College.* Most of my community college credits had transferred, leaving me a semester ahead of that year’s incoming freshmen. The same summer, my mother and I had finally filled out the paperwork to get me a diploma from a Pennsylvania homeschooling agency. I was deeply self-conscious about the 2005 stamp on my diploma; it was an emblem of what I perceived as failure, as my other homeschooled friends liked to boast about graduating early, and I was a year late. I also desperately wanted to be part of a group of people my age, for once, s … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 5

by Cindy FosterTHE SHUNNINGThis ‘discipline‘ as it turned out was not discipline at all, but punishment which had the appearance of one acting to satisfy his wrath against those who resisted or opposed him. He actually commanded the whole church to SHUN these young people for varying periods of time from 2 weeks to 6 weeks according to the severity of their ‘crimes’. There was only one given 6 weeks, and that was for making the statement about his not disciplining them unless he disciplined the others. This he said was the worst offense of all because that person was, “Making an accusation against a pastor without witnesses”. This person was also suspended from coming to church a … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 10

by CaluluIt seemed like the conferences and teachings were helping Tom even if he was still having his moments of weirdness and dysfunction.And then my darling husband started skipping our church's Sunday School to attend the early service at a big mainstream denomination before coming for to our church for our service. The questions started. I didn't quite know how to answer them because I didn't quite know exactly what was going on in my husband's mind. I knew he was unhappy with our church and visiting the denomination he'd been raised in was comforting to him, like going to the Catholic Charismatic services were to me when I visited down home in Louisiana. But I didn't really … [Read more...]

Defrauding: The NLQ Buzzword Project

by CaluluI have to admit. I too, just like Sierra, have a problem with Michelle Duggar and her recent comments on the beach and clothing that doesn't fall into the realm of her idea of modesty.These are the only Duggar-approved swimwear available. You might as well be wearing a burkini, at least the burkini is more attractive and modest than these things.Doesn't everyone want to look like a school cafeteria lady at the beach?Here's my rant about it. I never made it to the intellectual depths that Sierra did on the long term repercussions for the Duggar children. It struck me as more of the 'Sex on the brain' syndrome that certain strains of fundamentalism seems to dwell … [Read more...]

The Duggar Family Doesn’t Go to the Beach, and Why That’s Bad for Their Kids

by SierraThis just in from the Department of Unintended Irony: Michelle Duggar makes a public statement about modesty, just to be sure you know how modest they are – too modest for the beach – in case you were straining your neck looking for their modest stairstep children in the crowd while you immodestly sunned your heathen midriff. After all, they’re so modest, they wouldn’t want you thinking and worrying about them too much!Michelle Duggar poses with her family in the hospital after delivering a baby.Michelle Duggar: We Don’t Wear Shorts – Or Go to the Beach!Okay, guys, I’m turning off my snark filter. Really. It’s starting to overheat.Before I go any further … [Read more...]

Post-Fundamentalist Motherhood

by LatebloomerWhen I look at my little toddler, I am so glad that I am no longer a fundamentalist Christian.First, I don't believe in total depravity anymore, so I don't feel compelled to interpret his actions with negative terminology. The doctrine of total depravity is a common belief among fundamentalists.  It teaches that every person is born with a sin nature, separated from God, and capable of the worst kinds of evil.  It also says that proper parenting can mitigate the effects of the sin nature, but only a relationship with Jesus can make a person capable of true goodness.If I believed that my child had a sin nature that predisposed him to evil, that would c … [Read more...]


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