NLQ Featured Writer: Incongruous Circumspection

Incongruous CircumspectionI am a 30 something husband of one and father of 6 dynamic and loud children. My wife and I are still madly in love – at least in my view. My world is exciting, tense, and full of life. I love to write and hope to one day, do it full time. – Incongruous Circumspection Snipped! by Incongruous Circumspection The Intro.(1) Mama(2) My Little Years(3) Marital Problems(4) The Freedom of Divorce(5) Theoretical Visitation Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage:IntroductionPart 1a | Part 1b | Part 1c | Part 1d | Part 2a |More by Incongruous Circumspection:The Formula Problem: Why Duggarizing Your Marriage is Not Recommen … [Read more...]

Ooops!

Just a short message to let you know that our forum is currently down due to the switch over to Patheos. The redirect of the NLQ web address didn't take into account the forum would be disabled.Currently we are trying to see if the forum can be restored. In the meantime you might want to consider joining our Facebook discussion group the NLQ Support FB Group .NLQ Recommended Reading ...'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich ‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland ‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce<A HREF="h … [Read more...]

NLQ Featured Writer: Millipede

MillipedePart One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 6

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by MillipedeI hated the the underlying spirit which had crept into our marriage; it was a peevish, disapproving air that my husband had taken on. In our "heathen" days my husband had a happy go lucky air. This was endearing and made up for the fact that he could be irresponsible.Under Christian patriarchy this changed. Not only was he now "head of the household", but he was responsible for making sure that we lived a "Godly life". This permeated every bit of our life as we didn't want to be "Sunday Only" Christians; God was not someone that we turned our back on for the other six days of the week.This affected how I dressed, what we ate, what entertainment we watched or listened … [Read more...]

NLQ Featured Writer: Latebloomer

Setting up the No Longer Quivering website here at our new location on Patheos is taking longer than anticipated due to health problems for both Calulu and Vyckie. We are both finally feeling well enough to get some work done, so we hope to complete the transition soon.  Right now, we are working on updating the individual authors' pages. As we finish up each page, we will feature the NLQ writer here as a way of introducing our new readers to the Voices of NLQ. LatebloomerLatebloomer is on a journey away from the ideals she was raised with in the conservative homeschooling culture. Becoming a wife and mother has prompted her to re-evaluate her childhood experiences in an effort to … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

by CaluluSo when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn't come home.What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his office to transfer all his paper documents into digital on his new computer system. I don't want to do it but it's a little slow that spring in my job so I grit my teeth, bite my tongue and start going into his office for four hours every morning. I know this is a mistake but hey, there's not much going on to prevent me and Tom isn't going to be there at the same time as me, win-win. I'm such a sap. Plus I'd quit working at the … [Read more...]

A Brand New Day

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by CaluluWe've moved! No Longer Quivering has moved over to Patheos starting today. The old site will still be accessible for the remainder of the week but be sure to change your bookmarks to our new address - www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/As time has passed at NLQ keeping the site uploaded with fresh content has become about as easy as racing a rusted out old Pinto with flat tires in the Grand Prix. Lots of crashing. Lots of burning. Hours of wasted time.  Add in the hacking every time we discussed the Duggars and you can see we needed to move. Patheos has a dedicated staff that will make sure that NLQ runs smoothly.We're working to make sure that NLQ is an easy to … [Read more...]

NLQ’s Recommended Reading List

No Longer Quivering is updating the Recommended Reading List. If you have a book you'd like to see included, please add the title in the comments below.Thanks for your help!Top picks:Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy... by Kathryn JoyceQuivering Daughters by Hillary McFarlandBreaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Reli... by Janet HeimlichWoman Submit! Christians & Domestic Vio... by Jocelyn E AndersenNo Will Of My Own: How Patriarchy Smothers ... by Jon H. ZensTrusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks ... by Valerie TaricoNot Under Bondage: Biblical Divorce for Abu... by Barbara RobertsWhy Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of A... by Lun … [Read more...]

Cult of Personality – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluA few weeks ago I took my daughter out for an celebratory lunch at her favorite Greek restaurant. She's gotten acceptance letters from all of the colleges she's applied to plus we really needed to touch base, take a time out together from the busy of our lives. Over sovlaki and hummus she started talking about what she would say to our former pastor Patrick if she ran into him again. She had run into him an few months ago and had been so surprised she'd just hurriedly muttered out pleasantries before leaving him as rapidly as a man with his pants on fire would run for the lawn sprinklers.I had to ask her what she would say to Patrick if they were face to face. She blurted … [Read more...]

Forming Boundaries Late in Life

by LatebloomerDo any of these sound like you?I have to always say yes to others, or else I am selfish. I have to always hide my hurt, or else I am unloving. I have to treat other people as faultless, or else I am holding a grudge. I have to keep my wants and needs to myself, or else I am a burden to others.People who experienced authoritarian parents tend to turn into adults with poor boundaries. They were trained for it their whole lives and can't imagine another way of doing things. However, it's an extremely unsatisfying and unsustainable way to live, don't you think? But most importantly, it's actually not what a loving person is like! For me, when I was in that mindset, … [Read more...]


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