NLQ Featured Writer: Latebloomer

Setting up the No Longer Quivering website here at our new location on Patheos is taking longer than anticipated due to health problems for both Calulu and Vyckie. We are both finally feeling well enough to get some work done, so we hope to complete the transition soon.  Right now, we are working on updating the individual authors' pages. As we finish up each page, we will feature the NLQ writer here as a way of introducing our new readers to the Voices of NLQ. LatebloomerLatebloomer is on a journey away from the ideals she was raised with in the conservative homeschooling culture. Becoming a wife and mother has prompted her to re-evaluate her childhood experiences in an effort to … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

by CaluluSo when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn't come home.What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his office to transfer all his paper documents into digital on his new computer system. I don't want to do it but it's a little slow that spring in my job so I grit my teeth, bite my tongue and start going into his office for four hours every morning. I know this is a mistake but hey, there's not much going on to prevent me and Tom isn't going to be there at the same time as me, win-win. I'm such a sap. Plus I'd quit working at the … [Read more...]

A Brand New Day

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by CaluluWe've moved! No Longer Quivering has moved over to Patheos starting today. The old site will still be accessible for the remainder of the week but be sure to change your bookmarks to our new address - www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/As time has passed at NLQ keeping the site uploaded with fresh content has become about as easy as racing a rusted out old Pinto with flat tires in the Grand Prix. Lots of crashing. Lots of burning. Hours of wasted time.  Add in the hacking every time we discussed the Duggars and you can see we needed to move. Patheos has a dedicated staff that will make sure that NLQ runs smoothly.We're working to make sure that NLQ is an easy to … [Read more...]

NLQ’s Recommended Reading List

No Longer Quivering is updating the Recommended Reading List. If you have a book you'd like to see included, please add the title in the comments below.Thanks for your help!Top picks:Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy... by Kathryn JoyceQuivering Daughters by Hillary McFarlandBreaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Reli... by Janet HeimlichWoman Submit! Christians & Domestic Vio... by Jocelyn E AndersenNo Will Of My Own: How Patriarchy Smothers ... by Jon H. ZensTrusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks ... by Valerie TaricoNot Under Bondage: Biblical Divorce for Abu... by Barbara RobertsWhy Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of A... by Lun … [Read more...]

Cult of Personality – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluA few weeks ago I took my daughter out for an celebratory lunch at her favorite Greek restaurant. She's gotten acceptance letters from all of the colleges she's applied to plus we really needed to touch base, take a time out together from the busy of our lives. Over sovlaki and hummus she started talking about what she would say to our former pastor Patrick if she ran into him again. She had run into him an few months ago and had been so surprised she'd just hurriedly muttered out pleasantries before leaving him as rapidly as a man with his pants on fire would run for the lawn sprinklers.I had to ask her what she would say to Patrick if they were face to face. She blurted … [Read more...]

Forming Boundaries Late in Life

by LatebloomerDo any of these sound like you?I have to always say yes to others, or else I am selfish. I have to always hide my hurt, or else I am unloving. I have to treat other people as faultless, or else I am holding a grudge. I have to keep my wants and needs to myself, or else I am a burden to others.People who experienced authoritarian parents tend to turn into adults with poor boundaries. They were trained for it their whole lives and can't imagine another way of doing things. However, it's an extremely unsatisfying and unsustainable way to live, don't you think? But most importantly, it's actually not what a loving person is like! For me, when I was in that mindset, … [Read more...]

Quiverfull and the Introvert: Where Do You Get Your Energy?

by Barbie Getzreal"Where do you get your energy?!"This is a question which is frequently asked of Quiverfull moms by amazed and admiring onlookers who cannot imagine being able to keep up with the exponential demands of "biblical womanhood" including: perpetual pregnancy, child-bearing, adopting sibling groups, breastfeeding, baby wearing, chronic sleep deprivation, raising half a dozen or more closely-spaced, "stair-step" children, homeschooling - year round through chronic illness, child-training, character training, tomato-staking, discipling children, homemaking, penny-pinching, organic gardening, baking from scratch, once-a-month cooking, homesteading, sewing modest clothing, s … [Read more...]

Answering the Quiverfull Party Line #1: If We’re Not Trusting God, We Are Playing God

As a counter-cultural movement, the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle are frequently subject to substantial criticism from outsiders (friends, neighbors, random strangers in grocery store check-out lines) - and, given the life-altering ramifications of embracing the Quiverfull ideal, even the firmly-convinced often ask tough questions with respect to the practicality and wisdom of "trusting the Lord with our family planning."  "Answering the Quiverfull Party Line" examines  the Quiverfull apologia.by Barbie GetzrealThe Quiverfull Party Line: If We're Not Trusting God, We Are Playing GodAre We Pro-Choice or Pro-Life? Most Christians would answer Pro-Life. By this they mean th … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest Part 3: Daddy’s Girl

by Libby Anne[Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.]In Part 1 I looked at the definition of emotional incest and in Part 2 I looked at how integral emotional incest is to Christian Patriarchy, but in this segment I want to look at how easy it can be for even ordinary families to be sucked into (admittedly, less intense) patterns of emotional incest.I recently came upon an article called “Princesses, Princes, Daughters, and Dads: Against Emotional Incest.” The author explains his own experiences as the father … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Mama’s Boy and the Other Woman

by SierraI have already written about the ways that growing up in fundamentalist-evangelical culture made me especially vulnerable to covert incest from my father. There is a flip side to the father-daughter craze in Christian patriarchy, though. I am here to bring you two stories: and one of them isn’t about me!In what would have been my high school years, a miracle happened. Sven, my best friend from my early childhood, came back to my church. We were fourteen. We had been estranged for about three years while his family lived in another state. But we quickly reconnected (not least due to my idealistic hopes that we could pick up where we left off, and some aggressive b … [Read more...]


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