Shame-Based Parenting Fills a Child’s Heart With Shame Instead of Love: Disrespect for Children That Tilled the Soil For Abuse at Hephzibah House

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace. If you recall, this latest discussion here concerning developmental problems and deficits in children came about after a supporter of Ron Williams, the proprietor of Hephzibah House (HH), published a blog post that challenges those HH Survivors who have come forward to tell of the abject abuse and terrible conditions they suffered while incarcerated there. There are many other Independent Fun … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Have ‘Joy’ And ‘Purpose’ Or Your Children Will Be Foolish?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy Magazine - More Than Controlling Their BehaviorEditor's note: Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Pearl is secretly saying and doing these things as a parody of religion or if he has the attention span/recall of a mosquito and simply doesn't remember the stuff he said before. He's always contridicting himself in his child training advice. This is a really good example of it. He's claimed before you have to control every itty bitty bit of behavior until the will of the child is broken. Now he's claiming you can only raise great kids in a home with 'joy' and 'purpose'. And I think we can all agree that his definition of those words are likely to be vastly … [Read more...]

“Lies Women Believe” Review 243 – 281

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comY’all should celebrate at the end of this post because we did it! We finished the Lies Women Believe review– this is the last week. Speaking of which, if you have any ideas for which book I should do next, I’m open to hearing them. Next week will be a break of sorts, since I’ll be reviewing Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood by Nate Pyle, which I’m excited about sharing with you.But, let’s get this over with, shall we? … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Unhappy Marriage Is Your Fault As A Woman?

by Dragon Fly (BGR Honey Badger Extraordinaire! She comments many many times daily..) from her blog Girl With A Dragonfly Tattoo - 1888 Letters Show Women Who Create Happy Marriages Pick Well & Are MatureEditor's note: As with all in the extremist end of Biblical Gender Roles world this is linked through Do Not Link.Another female cultural enforcer extremist Christian woman that insists that the secret to a happy successful marriage is controlling your thoughts and emotions and deciding to be happy. If it were only that simple and easy. Suppression of thoughts and emotions can only lead to depression and rob you of a healthy emotional life no matter what the enforcers say. Better … [Read more...]

Why Do Fundamentalist Men and Women Dress Differently?

by Bruce Gerencser from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserWithin Evangelicalism, especially on the far right of the Evangelical spectrum, women are considered subservient, second class, whoring Jezebels out to rob men and teenage boys of their virtue. Listen to enough sermons at the local Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church and you will likely conclude that seductive women are lurking in the shadows ready to expose a bit of leg and cleavage, bringing weak, helpless men to their knees and hopefully to their bed. After all, the Bible does have a story that warns of this very behavior: … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Pray Too Much Because It’s Idolatry?

by Peaceful Wife from - Can You Pray Too Much For Your Marriage?Editor's note: This blog was found through a friend of a friend of Biblical Gender Roles. Did you know there are tons of Christian blogs focused on forcing your spouse to have sex with you? Both sexes even. This bit illustrates some of the more crazy-making ideas that get passed around Evangelical Quiverfull - That idea that you're not doing it right as defined by someone else - that extra Biblical nonsense where the writer/ministry/pastor follows a random thought down a toxic rabbit hole. This says you're not praying enough, this says you pray too much and another claims your prayers are you worshiping your … [Read more...]

Created To Need A Help Meet: Part 9 Mr. Steady (XBox Will Steal Your Children’s Souls)

by Aletha cross posted from her blog Yllom Mormonp 101-102We are still in the sections where Michael talks about the downside of being a Mr. Steady. Today we are discussing the biggest sin Mr. Steady makes. Here's a hint: It's being Steady in any way except for working to support or "teach" his family.Text is in purple. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Is Your Child ‘Spiritually Constipated’?

by Rick Thomas from Rick - When your children are constipated (spiritually speaking)Editor's note: Keep in mind when reading this that a) the child stole something and the father immediately made her give it back to the owner, b) then he postponed punishing her just so that she could be uncomfortable and squirming over what she did the entire day instead of dealing with it right away, c)  it never states what the discipline was but it sounds distinctly like the beatings advocated by Michael Pearl and finally d) there's nothing in this that has any relationship to be constipated or any bowel condition.  Why do they always love to torment children? Kids screw up, yeah, some of t … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: Hanging Onto Your Faith After Leaving

by Jennifer C. Martin from the Patheos blog Unfundamentalist Christian and - How Sexism in the Church Almost Ruined My LifeChurches that devalue women are contributing to the breakdown of religious faith in this country at large. If you tell a young girl that her voice doesn’t count in the house of God, why would she want to go there? If you tell a woman she can’t lead a congregation when her gift is public speaking, how could she believe that she has a purpose with that deity? And if a religious leader tells a man that he’s supposed to control his wife by being the “head of the household,” how can you be surprised when that same wife begins to resent her secondary place? … [Read more...]

Fear Factor

by Ellen cross posted from When Church HurtsMy friend, Rebekah Gilbert, has written a great blog post about Fear.  Her thoughts turned on a light bulb in my head because I realized just how true her words are.  You see, the spiritual abuse that was meted out to me had one purpose only:  to create fear in my heart and in my life.Perhaps the perpetrators’ ultimate goal was to get me to leave, but they did this in such a way that over the decade-plus years of spiritual abuse, I became terrorized.  And, just as my friend, Rebekah, realized, once I began to stand up to my abusers, the fear that they had placed on me returned to them.  Such great fear that their only recourse was to ban me … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Your Entire Identity Is As A Mother?

by Steven L Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church - The Effects of Birth ControlEditor's note: So much ignorance and fear mongering in a few short paragraphs. That bit at the end about green plasma caused by birth control pills is especially ridiculous considering there are also other circumstances that cause green plasma - the coloration is completely harmless.  It's not 'poisoning' like Anderson claims. He doesn't seem to realize that not every woman is cut to be a stay at home mother. It does speak to the fear of everything outside the canon of fundamentalism that drives churches like the IFB. … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Help! I Keep Getting Hit On!

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical, rational and the best possible solution, in other words 18 … [Read more...]