Developing Tools to Find Safety in the Face of Uncertainty

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission. In the discussion of building safety in stabilization in recovery from post traumatic stress, we've recently considered the role of acceptance and expectation in that process. We lose perspective because we get more consumed with survival for far too long which interferes with our ability to embrace joy and live optimistically. … [Read more...]

Psychological Socialism – Manipulating by Equalizing Blame

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdWhat is “psychological socialism”?  I’m so glad you asked!  It’s a term I coined a few years ago as rough concept after reading a friend's Facebook status (more on that later). Since then, I’ve done a lot of research on abusive and unhealthy interpersonal dynamics.  What I’ve read about and heard from others is enough to make my hair stand on end, but it gave me a lot of material to finally write this article! … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Biblical Divorce Because Of Abuse?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical,  rational and the best possible solution, in other words 1 … [Read more...]

How Should Churches Handle Allegations of Abuse?

by Bruce Gerencser cross posted from his blog The Life and Times of Bruce GerencserHow should churches handle allegations of abuse? Let me state right up front that I do not think churches shouldn’t “handle” anything.  This is what gets churches, pastors, and church leaders into trouble to start with. Instead of immediately doing the right thing when someone makes an allegation of abuse, pastors and church members often: … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Selfish Momma Dooms Children?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - Broken CirclesEditor's note: More of the harsher rhetoric of the Pearls from the 1990s. In this lengthy piece we're quoting Michael lays the blame for all the children out of control firmly at the feet of women who divorce their husbands. This is pretty awful in so many ways. All the  boxes of Pearl fears are checked, drinking, addiction, sexual molestation of children, lesbian duplex/apartment living, poverty..and how did Mom go from living with another man to rushing out to date? Typical Pearl lack of logic or editing. … [Read more...]

Who Said It – Michael Pearl and Christian Grey Edition

Think you can tell the difference between things No Greater Joy's Michael Pearl says and the things said by Christian Grey in the book 'Fifty Shades of Gray'? Guess which below belongs to which man. Answers at the very bottom of the page. … [Read more...]

Siding With The Many

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI often reblog or link to the writings, wisdom, and insights of others, not so much because I couldn’t have said it myself, but simply because I fear that were I to address these issues, it would appear that I am simply trying to argue for myself.  As those of us who are intimately familiar with spiritual abuse, doing so would create an immediate dismissal of my writing simply because I would be perceived as only making an effort to defend myself.  In the world of spiritual abuse, this would result in making me the problem for pointing out the problem. … [Read more...]

Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

Survivor Testimonials & Prayer For Hope

by Emily cross posted from her site - Christian Patriarchal Watch List For  Parents What do these ideas look like in real life? It varies, but not something I want for my daughter in any shade of gray, you? "I guess when you are the center of your family (prophet, king, and priest) where all the women serve you (wife and unmarried daughters), it must go to your head. On top of that add homeschooling expert, president of a company/ministry, and leader in a church, sought after speaker, author, and not to mention one's own sin nature, and what do you have?" http://surphside.blogspot.com/2013/11/questions-and-thoughts-about-vision.html … [Read more...]

News – Race, Homeschooling and Domestic Terrorism

This first news isn't precisely Quiverfull or Fundamentalist Christian related but it is awful. A young man by the name of Dylann Roof is a suspect in the shooting deaths of nine people in a prayer meeting in Charleston, South Carolina. This took place at a historic African American church that has been a cornerstone of the community since 1816. Our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by this senseless killing spree.More from CNN - Charleston church shooting: '9 killed because they were black,' official says … [Read more...]


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