Submission and Prison Cells: Part 2

by Melissa Permission to Live Click here for Part One Let me start by saying a sincere “I am sorry” to “Yellowbunnys” (whoever she was, and wherever she is now) and to all the other women I shamed that day. I was wrong. I was arrogant. I was hurtful. It is painful for me to even read what I believed then, much less how I judged others and tried to force them to believe it too. At the time I wrote that, I was barely getting past Post-Partum Depression with my first baby, and was about to be hit with a second wave of it after the birth of my second. I struggled to fulfill my self-imposed idea of perfection, but believed that any and all of the seeming problems with … [Read more...]

Cult of Personality – Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu A few weeks ago I took my daughter out for an celebratory lunch at her favorite Greek restaurant. She's gotten acceptance letters from all of the colleges she's applied to plus we really needed to touch base, take a time out together from the busy of our lives. Over sovlaki and hummus she started talking about what she would say to our former pastor Patrick if she ran into him again. She had run into him an few months ago and had been so surprised she'd just hurriedly muttered out pleasantries before leaving him as rapidly as a man with his pants on fire would run for the lawn sprinklers. I had to ask her what she would say to Patrick if they were face to face. She blurted … [Read more...]

Sex Confessions and the Single Fundy: Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu (or be careful who you tell your secrets to..) Bless me Father for I have sinned... told you I'd been raised Catholic. One of the big rituals from my days in Catholic school was the time of confession. At first I found it frightening, going into that big wooden closet-like structure, sitting down with only a metal grill separating you from a priest. You usually couldn't make out exactly which Father was hearing your confession. It was always awkward, trying to scare up a list of all the bad stuff you'd done that week. I was a shy bookish young girl and nervously squirmed in the confessional trying to come up with my wrong doings, only to sometimes whisper out stuff I … [Read more...]

Cereal Killers – Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu Sometimes you really have to measure just how far you've come on your journey out of harmful theology. It's another part of your recovery, looking at how you handled a situation and then thinking back upon how this would have played out in your days of yore. Measure the difference and see where you instinctively line up now. This week brought another opportunity to do just that. We have ants. Here in the Virginia Piedmont it's Spring. Glorious Spring. Beautiful Spring. Yards filled with gracefully blooming daffodils and crocus, shoots of emerald green grass emerging from the red clay earth. Birds singing, trees leafing out, all that jazz. Spring here also means ants, lots … [Read more...]

Thirtyone – Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu I was driving around the other day running a few errands and when I got back to my car I caught the tail end of a some random preacher speaking about the proper role of women in The Kingdom on local Christian radio. I didn't catch his name or the name of his ministry or sponsor but his message was loud and clear and made my blood boil. Bulls eye. Trigger hit. Buttons pushed. He started off speaking on the subject of what his ten year old daughter wanted to be when she grew up. She's crazy for gymnastics and he asked her that question about the future we all contemplate, what did she want to be when she grew up. Her answer to that question was that she would be a gymnastics … [Read more...]

The Piano: Adventures in Recovery

by Calulu Reading through the many different stories at NLQ of how we were enmeshed in the unhealthy lifestyle that is patriarchy, fundamentalism, quiverful, dominionism, evangelism, name your ism, has led me to wonder why we all so readily embraced that which was so clearly illogical and dangerous. There must be something in us that went off in that direction that's significantly different than the average person that likes regular movies and beer plus other forbidden things in our old religious lives. This isn't about those that were raised in the life. Growing up to emulate your parents is perfectly understandable, be your parent Charlie Manson or Billy Graham. I'm talking about … [Read more...]

Changes

Changes by Calulu By now I'm sure you've noticed that I've started doing some of the posting of articles and am an admin on the NLQ message board. Why? Change is in the wind and change can be a good thing. As an artist I try to embrace change. We've all been through some heavy duty changes or we wouldn't even be on this site. To change is to grow. Recently I hurt my back, been suffering the aches of sciatica up and down both of my legs and in my back. Now in my old drinking the koolaid part-fundamental part-evangelical life I would have gone to my church's prayer warriors and they would have told me what they always told me when I got a terrible backache. They would tell me I … [Read more...]

Bring Me The Flaming Head Of Barbie! – Adventures In Recovery

by Calulu A few weeks ago I was witnessing internet wide that one thing is certain. Just about everyone has a strong reaction to the news that Michelle Duggar is enceinte again. Of course I snicked like the sarcastic wise-cracking gal I am and some of us tossed around those hoary old chestnuts we always say when discussing Duggar child bearing. “It's a vagina not a clown car” and “Looks like Jim Bob tossed the hotdog down the well again” In most of the online discussion of how dangerous her playing maternal Russian roulette actually is no one seemed to hit upon my first thought, how quickly would Jim Bob replace her with a newer, younger, prettier model. I mean, really, it's … [Read more...]

Adventures in Recovery – Scaredy Cats: Why So Fearful?

by Calulu Aretha Franklin - “You better think about the consequences of your actions.” Matt 'Guitar' Murphy - “ Oh shut up woman!” (Lovingly borrowed from the movie “The Blues Brothers”) A few months ago I lent out a book by a newer young minister to a friend of mine named Georgia. Georgia has recently made it out of the mess Possum Creek Christian Fellowship devolved into. We'd been talking about new teachings we'd encountered and I'd explained that I liked this guy's style, I steered my friend Georgia to his teachings on You Tube and lend her that book. Minister X actually has a new book out but I lent her one of the older books first. Georgia is one of those … [Read more...]

Adventures in Recovery – The Help

by Calulu Last week Josie and I did something we would have never dared do back in our card-carrying super-fundie bread-making frumper-wearing days. We went into that darkened den of iniquity...*cue the music* dumm-dumm-dummmmm... The Movie Theater. Back when we both were at PCCF, movies were frowned upon except things like “Ben Hur” or “Veggie Tales” or that Mel Gibson's Jesus Chainsaw Massacre. Most were branded purposely anti-Christian. We still sometimes slunk off to see things like “March of the Penguins” or “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” hoping that no one in leadership from PCCF church was lurking about the town's only movie theater in the downtown of our small … [Read more...]