Priming a Child For Victimization or Predatory Behavior Through Poor Regard For Developing Personal Boundaries and Vulnerabilities

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much More GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace.Human beings are not omnipotent creatures, and children are definitely not invulnerable. When properly honored and taught to the child, appropriate vulnerability teaches and prepares the child to be appropriately intimate in relationships in their adult life. To achieve emotional intimacy in a healthy way, a person must be emotionally honest with their close friends and in love rel … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 9

by CaluluHigh school graduation loomed for Tom's oldest non-disabled kid, a son that's as bright as they come. The son has always been in the gifted and talented program at the local schools and was eligible for a few different college scholarships. The problem was that except for the small scholarship money there was no other funds for college. the scholarships were about enough to pay Tom Jr.'s tuition at community college but not enough to pay for books, a car, and gas back and forth much less pay for room, board and tuition at one of Virginia's four year universities.How do I know that? Because Hubby was the recipient of a late night drunken call from Tom, a call out of the blue. … [Read more...]

Review: Pixar’s Brave is Braver Than it Looks

by SierraPixar’s Brave is every fairy tale and none of them. It’s every trope and none of them. It’s filled with lovable scamps, bumbling eccentrics, defiant courage, enchanted landscapes, stifling expectations and unintended consequences. And it’s filled with beautiful brogue and wayward redheads.I’m going to talk my way through this movie. It’s currently 10:30pm. I left the movie theater 30 minutes ago, oddly silent as I tried to figure out what the message was that I got from that film. What follows is my first attempt to process the story, and to figure out whether or not it follows in the footsteps of Tangled, the cinematic anthem for ex-fundamentalist daughters.My re … [Read more...]

Pornography and the Fundy

by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 8

by CaluluTom comes back to church by late fall and he is in his Mr. Charlie Church mode again, except he doesn't exactly get with the program.During that summer many of us, myself included, started going off to conferences many weekends, to places like Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship or Life Center to the Voice of the Apostles weekends in Harrisburg PA. I added in going down to Brownsville AoG revival in Pensacola and flying off to Fresh Fire in Abbottsford Canada.If it was November we'd all be at Global Awakening's Voice of the Apostles conference. If it was July we'd been in Toronto for the Worship Party Conference and all over the place the rest of the time. We averaged … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 9

by MillipedeThat what was forgotten....All this time though a dark wave was cresting over our existence.Through the years as my husband gained weight until he was morbidly obese, health problems cropped up, some requiring hospitalization. As you can guess the bills started coming in. While he was able to pay some of them, the larger one's were never fully paid off. Then there was the truck driving school lone. For a while, my husband was able to make the minimum payment. Then he got behind and was never able to get caught up. He would pay, but always be a month or to behind. All it would take was some other financial need to crop up and we would miss a payment. This made the … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Is No Longer Quivering an Atheist Website?

Reposting for those newer Patheos readers to know more about us and what we believe September 16, 2010 By Guest Contributor 19 Comments by VyckieI recently r ece ived a n email from “Henrietta” who asked:If I choose to get involved here, contribute etc, am I part of a Christian but anti QFP group; or an anti Christian and esp anti QFP group?It is ironic that NLQ seems to be perceived quite differently depending on the perspective of the reader. We have several new readers who are commenting here on the blog ~ conservative, Quiverfull Christians who are convinced that NLQ is nothing but angry, pro-abortion, Feminazi Atheists.  On the other hand, MoJoey at “Deep Thoughts” … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 8

by MillipedeThe next couple of years were what I would call the "golden years" of Patriarchy. By this I mean that we were living the Patriarchal dream, with the husband "leading" and providing and the wife keeping the home and being submissive. It was the apex of our journey; we were finally living the lifestyle.As i wrote earlier it was during this time that I experienced the joys of having the time to pursue varied interests. My husband drove overland the first year or so and then the latter part, he had a regional route. This meant that he was gone for weeks at a time when he was going across country. Later, with a regional route, he was home every weekend. In retrospect, I think … [Read more...]

Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]