NLQ FAQ: Does Patriarchy Glorify God?

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka: KR Wordgazer  Q: As a Quiverfull couple, we practice headship and submission to strengthen our marriage and bring glory to God.  But you are saying that Patriarchy hurts the husband and belittles God.  Please explain.What does “glorify” mean when we’re talking about God?  A simple definition can be found in what we commonly mean when we say a person is “seeking glory.”  It means that person wants the credit for good things that have happened, and to be honored for those things.  To glorify God is to seek glory not for ourselves, but for God-- to act in ways that point to God, that give God the credit for good things in our lives and the honor that comes from that. … [Read more...]

Patriarchy Across Cultures: I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You)

by TapatiKiss me once again Don't you never, never, never say that we we're through Cause I ain't never, I ain't never I ain't never, no, no, loved a man The way that I, I love you--Ronnie Shannon (sung by Aretha Franklin)Sri Sri Rukmini-Dwarakadhish Once we arrived at my mom’s apartment, our relationship was on fast forward. We spent a few weeks together every waking moment, with my mom at work and the run of the place. We cooked together, with Mike teaching me a lot about Indian cooking. He’d been hanging out around the temple for years and had learned a lot. He was four years older than me and seemed wise beyond his years. Like me he was raised by a single mom and had previously had … [Read more...]

A Most Twisted Love

by VyckieMom & Dad are in love ... but is a patriarchal relationship of entitlement-meets-martyrdom a healthy and mutually beneficial expression of love?Following a recent interview with the religion editor of our local newspaper, I've been thinking more about what I've learned from St. Bernard of Clairvaux concerning the four "degrees" of love which the ancient monk postulated in considering man's relationship to God (note that this applies to all other relationships as well) ~ although I've already written briefly on this topic here, I'd like to now give a more thorough explanation:Level 1) I love me for my benefit ~ here's an infantile, self-involved person with a severe … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: How can I help my "Quiverfull" friend?

by Vyckie  Q: How can I help my “Quiverfull” friend?I have a good friend who is really into the quiverfull/patriarchy lifestyle. She is always careful to appear cheerful and happy with her family life, but I have often suspected that things are not quite as rosy as she wants everyone to believe. After reading the stories here on NLQ, I am more concerned than ever, especially for her children who are very well-behaved and respectful but who seem to be sending out “distress signals” like Angel did in Vyckie’s story. My friend is slowly cutting out everyone who loves her and has offered to help. What can I do?   There are two important factors to consider in this situation:   1) How commit … [Read more...]

Santa vs. Satan

by LauraWhen I was growing up, my moms worked craft shows to support us kids. They often worked right through Christmas Eve and so we never celebrated Christmas actually on Dec. 25. We would usually have our Christmas celebration in the second week of January. That way my moms could take advantage of the awesome after Christmas sales available back then. It took the pressure off and I always felt like someone special when I told my friends that WE were celebrating Christmas on January 10th or what ever it was. The date was not important . The presents were! My moms always went all out. I remember going to bed and there would be nothing at all under the tree and then when I awoke...lo and … [Read more...]

When am I supposed to sleep…?

 by LauraWhen my 11th baby was born, he had feeding issues. He just wasn't getting the hang of nursing and I think my “plumbing” was getting a bit worn out. After two weeks of trying and trying and him crying and crying, I took him to a Lactation Clinic an hour and a half away. The nurses and doctors were wonderful and remembered me from the last time I had a baby with these problems. They told me that I needed to use a breast pump every two hours all day and every 4 hours at night and keep track of how much milk I was making and feed every drop to my baby and supplement him with formula so he would gain weight.Now, being a QF mom, I felt that bottles and formula equaled failure. I mean, … [Read more...]

It's about STRONG WOMEN

by Vyckie  My oldest daughter, Angel and my mom, Lou Ann. So many of the visitors who are reading the stories on this blog have left a comment to the affect that, "You & Laura are amazingly strong women."I've actually done some thinking about that ~ and wanted to share a bit of it here.We have been "strong," yes ~ but is that such a good thing? For myself, I finally realized that being so strong enabled me to live a life that was not healthy for me or my children ~ or for my ex-husband for that matter. As long as I could "handle it" ~ I did.Allow me to boast for just a minute about how "strong" I was.I was so "strong" that I bore seven children ~ six of them in eleven years ~ … [Read more...]

The Amazing Bosch Universal Mixer

by LauraWhen I was living on the farm we grew almost all of our own food. We planted our own wheat and then harvested it with a pull type combine hooked up to our antique John Deere 70 tractor. We had a hand cranked fanning mill (another antique) to clean the wheat which was quite the operation. One of the bigger kids would crank the giant handle to produce the wind and shaking needed to send that wheat through the fanning mill screens and discard all the impurities. Well almost all. Inevitably there would be little bits of “stuff” that was the same size and shape as the wheat berries that would escape the cleaning process.With our home grown organic wheat berries in hand, I would get o … [Read more...]


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