Looking Back: My Family 10 Years on From Fundamentalism

by Arietty The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. ~ L.P. Hartley, The Go-Between When looking back at my family during our days of patriarchal fundamentalism this opening line in the novel The Go-Between often comes to mind. In the last decade we have journeyed so far from where we once were we may have well have moved countries entirely. In the beginning of our journey we were like refugees, clinging to our past forms and beliefs while trying to figure out what part of this new culture wouldn't damage us. For we had read and been preached to and fervently believed that our now adopted culture--The World--was one of poison and sure death to family bonds and … [Read more...]

From the Library of Martyrdom ~ Part 2

How I was called to give up that which I did not have.. by Arietty In the years before the internet I relied on printed publications to nurture and sustain my life as a quiverfull homeschooling mom. It was within these publications that I found my own community in the Christian world, something which had eluded me before that. I read Family LIfe, Above Rubies, The Teaching Home,  Gentle Spirit and a variety of photocopied newsletters from families who had ministries of sending out newsletters. It was often frustrating to me that 3 weeks would go by with no new reading material in my mail box and then BOOM it would all arrive at once. I needed this Christian reading material. It was the … [Read more...]

From the Library of Martyrdom ~ Part 1

How I was called to give up that which I did not have.. by Arietty I began my journey into fundamentalism and a radical understanding of what it meant to be a mother via Above Rubies magazines. I was young, with an infant and toddler  and my life was very lonely and isolated, made more so by my increasingly hostile husband. One day my family and a few of my husband's friends took a long drive to the docks to see a visiting missionary ship. This ship sailed all over the world handing out free Christian literature and putting on evangelical presentations wherever it docked.   We had gone on a ship tour and I remember how the life on board seemed very appealing. The people living and … [Read more...]

Where are the Instructions?

by Arietty In the last months of my marriage I was gradually coming out of the fear laden fog that had been my life in fundamentalism. Now that I had internet access I would find myself reading more and more things written from a non-Christian perspective. I had joined a few forums based around interests I had but spent more and more time reading the off-topic threads. I was often blown away by how much grace some of these people showed in flame wars or contentious discussions, how much humility they had towards their own beliefs. Wasn't grace "our" word? It was at first disturbing to learn so much from people who did not follow Christ but after a time I grew used to it and found myself … [Read more...]

Things I Loved and Why I Really Loved Them

by Arietty There were a lot of things in my QF days I professed to love.. no I actually loved. Things that were very important to me. Things I built friendships on. Things I was suddenly so completely over that it's like another person had those interests. I got a bit of a shock when I realized what some of those interests were really about. Two of them stand out because it's impossible to be in the home or in the church without being reminded of these past loves. 1. Conferences. OH how I LOVED conferences. Homeschooling conferences, Creation Science conferences, regular old Evangelical bible study conferences. I went to all of them and if something stopped me from attending (with six … [Read more...]

My Secret Desires

Lust Behind the Modest Denim Curtain by Arietty   During my most deepest, holiest, quivering before God years I would sometimes find my Christian Womanhood alarmingly infiltrated by admirations that were NOT the admirations of a woman whose price was "above rubies". These admirations stood in stark contrast to my floral blouses and the verses in cross stitch I had displayed on the walls of my home and to the Christian women whose example I wished to emulate. I knew they were wrong, dubious at best and not something I would ever admit to. They were like chocolates hidden in the underwear drawer of a dieter. I knew they were there and I had no intention of throwing them away and every now … [Read more...]

No-Win Scenario #2 ~ If you stay you lose, if you leave you lose ~ No Winning Allowed!

by Arietty  The experience of being in a No Win Scenario is a very familiar one to me. A decade after my divorce I still find myself smack up against that in certain conversations. While a marriage to an abuser is replete with such scenes (they rapidly become normal), it's the big leap of leaving where it angered me the most. I mean, I've left, why do I have to put up with this STILL? It's like after you have a baby and they suddenly want to give you stitches.. haven't you been through enough? Though not as grueling as what came before your tolerance is now zilch. In a marriage breakup most church friends and acquaintances don't wish to really hear about it. They want to tell you they are … [Read more...]


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