Shame Based and Immature Parenting Creates Victims of Circumstance and Dependency on Self (External Locus of Control)

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace.We've now considered the two primary ways that a damaged or immature parent takes from their child (unloading shame and by siphoning back nurture) which we understand results from a parent's disrespect for the child's characteristics (and needs). With that background, we can now better understand how adults, both parents and grown children, cope with the sense of emptiness that they face. … [Read more...]

Review Part 2 – “Spanking, Why, When, How” by Roy Lessin

Continued on from yesterday here are the words of others that have been raised using this method from Roy Lessin's books. My life has been full of pain and anguish due to Roy's methods. Your daughter is happy because children will be whatever you ask them to be after hitting them. I would have thought someone strange for telling me my parents were cruel too when I was six, twelve, or even 15 years of age. My parents were my world when I was a kid. The horrible affects of Roy's spankings will probably not show up until it is too late. You will have already made your parental choice and the damage will be done. I was a happy child or so everyone thought. Inside I was torn up and didn't really … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Grandparents Should Spank Grandchildren?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - Grandmother Strikes AgainEditor's note: Continuing on from  yesterday's sick idea that grandparents need to beat on children for discipline as well as their parents. He's also claiming that his children and those raised by his 'beat them to make them mind' philosophy are more successful. Hmm, let's see. We never hear about his two sons and their families. One of his daughters is married to a man too lazy to work so she's been forced to start up an online herbal business pushed by her parents. Another daughter was too traumatized to be able to make simple choices in clothing or restaurant preferences when her husband asked for her preferences. I'm … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Grandparents Should Spank Grandchildren?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - Grandmother Strike AgainEditor's note: According to Michael it's not just enough to have parents striking their children, now grandparents must do it too. One of the most disgusting passages of Pearl's many contradictory writings. Isn't the role of grandparents to love the children and leave the major discipline to the parents? Adding another abuser is not the answer to 'good' behavior in children. This is never a good idea. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 1 – Justifying Child Abuse?

by Michael Pearl from Above Rubies Magazine - The Rod and ReproofEditor's note: We're going to look at Michael Pearl's latest claims that his child training advice does not lead to kids that think violence is the answer. He's still trying to say that those that beat their children to death during discipline aren't doing it right, or truly following his advice. This is even more horrific in light of the beating death of Lucas Leonard at the hands of his parents and church members in upstate New York just a few weeks ago. Any time you take up 'The Rod' there's always a chance that the adult administering the 'correction'  might lose control and beat the child to death, no matter how … [Read more...]

Shame-Based Parenting Fills a Child’s Heart With Shame Instead of Love: Disrespect for Children That Tilled the Soil For Abuse at Hephzibah House

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace. If you recall, this latest discussion here concerning developmental problems and deficits in children came about after a supporter of Ron Williams, the proprietor of Hephzibah House (HH), published a blog post that challenges those HH Survivors who have come forward to tell of the abject abuse and terrible conditions they suffered while incarcerated there. There are many other Independent Fun … [Read more...]

“Lies Women Believe” Review 243 – 281

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comY’all should celebrate at the end of this post because we did it! We finished the Lies Women Believe review– this is the last week. Speaking of which, if you have any ideas for which book I should do next, I’m open to hearing them. Next week will be a break of sorts, since I’ll be reviewing Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood by Nate Pyle, which I’m excited about sharing with you.But, let’s get this over with, shall we? … [Read more...]

How Parents’ Intolerance of a Child’s Immaturity Creates Both Victims and Abusers

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much More GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace. As noted earlier concerning the natural characteristics of children, the parent's proper respect for and care of a child's immaturity builds the basis for self control in their adulthood and helps them learn how to effectively manage and govern their lives as adults. This mastery, a characteristic of maturity, also provides for a healthy sense of spontaneity. Healthy maturity involves rel … [Read more...]

How Parents Prime Children For Victimization Through Ignorance, Neglect and Abuse of Dependency Needs

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much More GraceOriginally published January 2012. This is part of a series on Understanding How Emotional Development in Childhood Affects Adults: Fostering Spiritual Abuse via the “Roots of Victimization” All images originals from Under Much More Grace. One of the primary roles of a parent should be preparing their children to be safe, protected, and secure in adulthood, preparation that begins in childhood, encouraging the child's growth into maturity. When successful, parents prepare children who become adults who are able to care adequately for their own basic needs and are also responsive to the needs of others without compromising t … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Child Extortionists?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - Twinkie TwerpsEditor's note: Please excuse the lateness of this piece. I am traveling again and experiencing indifferent internet at various places.More of Michael Pearl mistaking normal childhood behavior and needs for sin and manipulation. It's horribly telling that Michael considers a child asking for food more of a 'character development' issue than what it likely is, a need, either physical or emotional, that must be met. Why the mother did not redirect the child by doing something like involving him in helping her prepare a snack for all the children by cutting the twinkie into equal portions and possibly adding items? There are so many … [Read more...]


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