Part 9 Reacting from a Place of Vulernability – Adventures in Ambiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace used with permissionBefore developing as fairly functional internal locus of control and as strong sense of worth, and until former members work through how to relate to others with both good internal and external boundaries, things can be very difficult for them. There's so much to do immediately. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Blame Game Rules

Found on a recovery group on Facebook.Original authorship unknown. Edited for clarity and spelling.  Worth sharing here since it's about the rules in spiritually abusive churches. What would you add to this list? … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 9

by CaluluHigh school graduation loomed for Tom's oldest non-disabled kid, a son that's as bright as they come. The son has always been in the gifted and talented program at the local schools and was eligible for a few different college scholarships. The problem was that except for the small scholarship money there was no other funds for college. the scholarships were about enough to pay Tom Jr.'s tuition at community college but not enough to pay for books, a car, and gas back and forth much less pay for room, board and tuition at one of Virginia's four year universities.How do I know that? Because Hubby was the recipient of a late night drunken call from Tom, a call out of the blue. … [Read more...]

Hot Pink A & ‘Good’ Christian Disapproval – SASBN

by CaluluI've been putting off doing my introductory piece for No Longer Quivering's Spiritual Abuse Survivor Blogs Network because I was stuck in writers block land. That fun place were you can't put a finger to the keyboard and come up with any that makes any sense at all on certain subjects.  Besides, my blog is more boring day to day with a dash of gluten free recipes posted and the odd commentary on something from my old church life. I'm not intellectually dissecting harmful spiritual beliefs. I leave that to those more intelligent and less ADD than myself. So I never felt like I could contribute as much as the others to the SASBN.I do talk frequently about my friend Josie's … [Read more...]

Pornography and the Fundy

by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 8

by CaluluTom comes back to church by late fall and he is in his Mr. Charlie Church mode again, except he doesn't exactly get with the program.During that summer many of us, myself included, started going off to conferences many weekends, to places like Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship or Life Center to the Voice of the Apostles weekends in Harrisburg PA. I added in going down to Brownsville AoG revival in Pensacola and flying off to Fresh Fire in Abbottsford Canada.If it was November we'd all be at Global Awakening's Voice of the Apostles conference. If it was July we'd been in Toronto for the Worship Party Conference and all over the place the rest of the time. We averaged … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban Part 2

by Cindy Foster FAMILY AS NEIGHBORSAt first we lived in duplexes right next door to each other.  Then, both families jointly purchased five acres, divided them equally and each built a house on their two and a half acres.As more children came, naturally there would be conflicts between theirs and ours which produced conflicts between us, their parents.  This was particularly difficult for me because whenever arguments erupted between them (for instance) over toys or other belongings as to what belonged to whom, my sister-in-law would automatically assume the role as head arbitrator.  She was ‘The Pastor’s Wife‘ which gave her a kind of ‘authority’ to be the decision-mak … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: Is No Longer Quivering an Atheist Website?

Reposting for those newer Patheos readers to know more about us and what we believe September 16, 2010 By Guest Contributor 19 Comments by VyckieI recently r ece ived a n email from “Henrietta” who asked:If I choose to get involved here, contribute etc, am I part of a Christian but anti QFP group; or an anti Christian and esp anti QFP group?It is ironic that NLQ seems to be perceived quite differently depending on the perspective of the reader. We have several new readers who are commenting here on the blog ~ conservative, Quiverfull Christians who are convinced that NLQ is nothing but angry, pro-abortion, Feminazi Atheists.  On the other hand, MoJoey at “Deep Thoughts” … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 8

by MillipedeThe next couple of years were what I would call the "golden years" of Patriarchy. By this I mean that we were living the Patriarchal dream, with the husband "leading" and providing and the wife keeping the home and being submissive. It was the apex of our journey; we were finally living the lifestyle.As i wrote earlier it was during this time that I experienced the joys of having the time to pursue varied interests. My husband drove overland the first year or so and then the latter part, he had a regional route. This meant that he was gone for weeks at a time when he was going across country. Later, with a regional route, he was home every weekend. In retrospect, I think … [Read more...]


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