Just Pray for Him: How the Christian Church Refuses to Hold Abusive Men Accountable

By Lisa Kroulik © Cross posted with permission from Hub Pages - http://nybride710.hubpages.com/hub/How-the-Christian-Church-is-Failing-Abused-Women One of the more difficult things to recover from during the process of divorce from my narcissistic ex-husband was the treatment I received from other Christians. To be fair, none of it was intentionally mean-spirited and all of these people truly believed they were encouraging me from God's word. Unfortunately, the “advice” I received kept me trapped in an abusive marriage three years longer than I should have been.The thing is, all of the responsibility for keeping my marriage together was placed squarely on … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 5 Theoretical Visitation

by Incongruous CircumspectionFor those of my readers keeping track, you might remember that I have six siblings. Seven kids and one father with visitation rights. My mother had won full custody and my father was given every other weekend with his kids and four weeks in the summer. Again, there were seven of us. This meant that he had to split us up in sets of two and three so we could fit into his apartment. Thus, I ended up going with him about every six weeks – in theory.My mother played every game in the book to keep us away from our dad. He would call Friday night to tell her who he wanted to pick up the next morning and she would go through a long laundry list of excuses a … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

by CaluluSo when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn't come home.What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his office to transfer all his paper documents into digital on his new computer system. I don't want to do it but it's a little slow that spring in my job so I grit my teeth, bite my tongue and start going into his office for four hours every morning. I know this is a mistake but hey, there's not much going on to prevent me and Tom isn't going to be there at the same time as me, win-win. I'm such a sap. Plus I'd quit working at the … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man: Part 2

by CaluluWhen we last left off Tom was in love with another woman and defiant to criticism. Says he has a right to be happy, he feels no sorrow for the affair and he's not going to stop. God approves, according to Tom even though the Bible clearly states otherwise. I responded by doing the bad thing, doing what any good fundigelical pearl clutcher feels obligated to do, I go to our mutual Pastor. Now Pastor already knows and says he is going to 'deal' with the feckless frolicking fornicators. He goes to both to confront them and gets mixed responses, Alice still swears there was no actual sex going on and tells the Pastor this is no ones business.Tom tells Pastor pretty much the same … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 4 The Freedom of Divorce

 by Incongruous CircumspectionSeven years old was a big year for me. It was at this point that Mama and Dad’s relationship boiled over and broke apart. Dad left and went to live by himself, leaving my siblings and I alone with Mama. At this point in my life, the alone time with Mama wasn’t too bad. She hadn’t learned yet, to take her immature “lashing out,” and reconcile it with her interpretation of the Bible. She was just solidly abusive and then excitingly adventurous.At one point, Dad did try to come back and give the marriage another chance. I remember being asked to dry the dishes one evening. Dad had pulled our old black and white television from its corner, to the mid … [Read more...]

NLQ FAQ: The Bible & Accountability in Marriage – Part 2: The Marriage Covenant & Covenant Breaking

by Kristen Rosser ~ aka:KR WordgazerPart 1 of this FAQ addressed ideas for helping your marriage when following the teachings of Quiverfull does not work as you had understood it was supposed to. But the Bible does not teach that being a Christian is a formula, or that your actions will guarantee the response of someone else. Each person has his or her own choices to make, and ultimately, they are that person’s choices alone. You cannot force your husband to do the right thing, and this brings us to the very difficult question asked at the end of Part 1:But what if my husband is completely unrepentant and refuses to change behaviors that, if I am honest with myself, I must admit a … [Read more...]


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