Positive Perceptions and Blame Games: The Self Serving Bias

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceImages by Cindy Kunsman of Under Much Grace and used with permission. Just a reminder that the purpose of this discussion aims at stimulating thought and self awareness as tools to help those in recovery from trauma learn how to make safer choices. To make the discussion more jocular, we've defined Cognitive Biases as “CranioRectal Inversions” (CRI).Like the Blind Spot and Confirmation biases, the Self Serving Bias also serves to preserve the ego by painting the self in a positive light. One of many other attribution errors, anything that happens that benefits a person is credited to their achievement and merit. This ass … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: The Blame Game Rules

Found on a recovery group on Facebook.Original authorship unknown. Edited for clarity and spelling.  Worth sharing here since it's about the rules in spiritually abusive churches. What would you add to this list? … [Read more...]

It Would Have Been Easier

by AJ cross posted from her blog I Am PhoenixIt would have been easier if my father had just been a regular old sicko who committed incest. I think I wouldn't have been as mad if he was just a regular joe pervert who also was abusive.It’s the way he used Christianity as his cover to hide the abuse, as well as using Christianity as his weapon to threaten us into not speaking of it, that makes me angry. Also, that he had all of us believing that the abuse was God approved makes me even angrier. … [Read more...]

Not Quoting Quiverfull: What is a Cult? Church of Wells Edition

According to the Wartburg Watch and Ronald Enroth's book "Church That Abuse" the hallmarks of a cult are - 1.   Control-oriented style of leadership2.   Spiritual elitism3.   Manipulation of members … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 4

by Cindy FosterPARTY TIMEIt was the end of the 1900’s. There was much uncertainty in the air everywhere, about what the next millennium would bring. Would our computer-dependent world come to a screeching halt? Would there be a shortage of food, water and electricity? Should we be stockpiling goods in preparation?If the ‘air’ everywhere else was unsettling, it was much more so in the church. If tension was butter, you could cut it with a knife. The young people were troubled, parents were hyper-alert, Paul and I felt like we were walking a perpetual tight-rope and The Preacher was venting rage through every sermon at our expense. With that kind of a pressure-cooker clima … [Read more...]