Five Things Home School Moms Should Know About Abusive Marriages

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the Shepherd When our family started the homeschooling journey about 25 years ago, I envisioned my comrades in the movement as the ideal examples of healthy marriage and parenting. I have learned much along the way about educating and nurturing my own ten children, and I am seeing this legacy continue with my six grandchildren. However, as the years have gone by, I have had to lay aside my cute little rose-colored glasses and acknowledge that there can also be a dark side. Abuse, whether it is against a child or a spouse, is a tragic reality in far too many homeschooling families. Because I write frequently on the topics of domestic … [Read more...]

Review: “Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife” by Ruth Tucker

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog SamanthaPField.comI heard about Ruth Tucker’s Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife: My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic Violence mid-afternoon on Monday, after I’d finished my review of Radical and was browsing the Twitters. Zondervan has been promoting her book with the question “is complementarianism connected to domestic abuse?” which has spurred some conversation among the people I follow. And by “conversation,” I mean a lot of us saying “duh. Yes.” … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Even if He Abuses You He Still Owns You?

by Larry Solomon of Biblical Gender Roles - Does the Bible Teach the Concept of Human Property? as always linked through Do Not Link.comEditor's note: And he continues on to assert that you as the woman have to accept whatever treatment a man doles out, even the abusive stuff, because he owns you. Says it's wrong, but that it does not cancel out the fact that you are owned. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Don’t Look At Her Sinning Face During Sex?

by Biblical Gender Roles from Biblical Gender - How a Husband Can Enjoy Sex That is Grudgingly Given by His WifeEditor's note: This is possibly the worst part of the entire article, worse than insisting that husbands will cheat without sex, worse than saying 'fake it' and much worse than refusing to talk about sexual performance and likes. This ignores all consent and is pretty much straight up rape. Hounding someone into agreeing to sex against their own desires is a type of rape, or at least verges on it. BGR doesn't see it that way, he's just interested in his own selfish sexual pleasure. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – So Does This Punishment Fit The Crime?

by Biblical Gender Roles from Biblical Gender - 7 Wyas to Discipline Your Wife (linked through Do Not Link)Editor's note: As we've seen too many times with this guy it all really boils down to sex. His having sex every single time a stiff breeze or nothing gives him a random erection. His 7th sin and punish is all about sexual denial of the husband by the wife. He believes in punishing for a wife refusing to provide sex as well as all the other ridiculous things he claims are the primary responsibility of the wife. Does anyone really consult their husband before buying clothing or even take him along?  Seems like everything on his list falls into the category of over … [Read more...]

The Bad Boy and the Angel

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the Shepherd(Part of October's focus on domestic violence. Originally published December 2014)While decorating for Christmas last week, I left this angel on the table. The next morning, I found her standing with my daughter's Ken doll. Apparently she was planning for them to get married as soon as she could find someone to officiate the wedding.Something about the angel caught my eye. She was looking down, probably because she is supposed to be a tree topper smiling benevolently at the children below. However, standing right next to Ken, she seemed like she was sad and feeling shamed, like he was mad at her and she couldn't … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Divorce Makes Your Children Bitter and Worldly?

by Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy - Abusive HusbandEditor's note: Debi is answering a letter about an abusive husband and counseling the victim to stay with her abuser. This little bit below is typical of Debi's fear mongering over divorce. Usually she warns that the divorcing woman will end up in a duplex filled with lesbians. Now she's claiming that if you divorce then God will not protect your children from the world, that they will fall away into bitterness. … [Read more...]

Why Couples Counseling Is Not Recommended For Abusive Marriages – Even Christian Ones

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDear friends,A friend posted the following quote on her Facebook status, noting that she found it here: The Abuser in Couples Therapy. … [Read more...]

What To Do About Toxic Power In Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDear friends,What can a woman do if she realizes that she is in a controlling, manipulative, intimidating, verbally aggressive, and/or physically violent marriage?Two months ago I wrote a post called Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage which gave an analysis of the problem. I based it on concepts found in The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. At the end, I promised a follow up post with suggestions on what she can do. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 Listening To Your Wife?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - I Need Her Counsel and JudgementEditor's note: This is almost enough to make you feel sorry for Michael's wife Debi Pearl, but knowing how Debi twists what happened to her and uses it to make others feel fear and guilt cancels out any sympathy points she might get for her husband admitting what an abusive jerk he has been. Sick relationship. His advice in the end might be good except for his suggestion to pretend to be humble and thoughtful. Pretend? … [Read more...]