Recognizing Pervasive, Poisonous Power in Marriage

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The Shepherd “There are two kinds of power. One kills the spirit. The other nourishes the spirit. The first is Power Over. The other is Personal Power. Power Over shows up as control and dominance. Personal Power shows up as mutuality and co-creation. Mutuality is a way of being with a person which promotes the growth and well-being of one's self and the other person by means of clear communication and empathetic understanding. Co-creation is a consciously shared participation in life which helps one reach one's goals.” … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – Biblical Divorce Because Of Abuse?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical,  rational and the best possible solution, in other words 1 … [Read more...]

Naghmeh Abedini and Responding to Marital Abuse

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDear friends,Though I haven't blogged at Watch the Shepherd in nearly three months, I have been keeping a pulse on one of my major themes here: abusive relationships in families and Christian movements.The big one in the headlines is that Idaho pastor Saeed Abedini, who had been imprisoned and tortured in Iran for a few years because of his ministry there, was released last month in a prisoner swap. His wife Naghmeh worked tirelessly for his release, making countless media appearances and appeals to US government authorities, including President Obama, who intervened on their behalf. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Abused Wives Must Never Divorce?

by Pastor Stephen Kim from NYC Pastor.com - Divorce and RemarriageEditor's note: We all know that the Pearls think the way to handle an abusive spouse is to stay married to him, but many other pastors believe that divorce in the case of abuse is not wrong. And then there are pastors like Pastor Kim that hold you have to stay with your abuser no matter what because Bible. Recipe for disaster and more abuse. Emphasis mine below … [Read more...]

Bonding and Bondage in Abusive Relationships

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch the ShepherdIn case you're wondering why you can't "just get over it" from a painfully abusive or damaging or destructive relationship: Trauma bonding makes any relationship harder to end, harder to heal, harder to find freedom from through forgiveness, than the loss of a true love. The neural pathways burned into a brain in trauma bonding are laid down in powerful fear/anxiety hormonal rushes leaving even comparatively good memories with the person colored with the stains of those traumatic events. The loss of anyone we have loved -- whether they have treated us very well indeed or in a deplorable manner -- is something that will heal … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Lack of Submission Causes Domestic Violence?

by Archbishop of Toledo Braulio Rodriguez in The Mirror - Fury as archbishop says domestic violence is caused by women 'not obeying men'Editor's note: Just when it seems like the leadership of the Catholic church was starting to realize that they had to modernize to keep their members this guy shows that old dangerous ideas still abound. … [Read more...]

“Lies Women Believe” Review 243 – 281

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comY’all should celebrate at the end of this post because we did it! We finished the Lies Women Believe review– this is the last week. Speaking of which, if you have any ideas for which book I should do next, I’m open to hearing them. Next week will be a break of sorts, since I’ll be reviewing Man Enough: How Jesus Redefines Manhood by Nate Pyle, which I’m excited about sharing with you.But, let’s get this over with, shall we? … [Read more...]

Helpful Links For Recovering From Abuse

One of the things that has happened in the wake of Josh Duggar's sexual molestation coming to light has been that both NLQ Founder Vyckie Garrison and myself have started to discuss what is the best response, in what way can NLQ help those that have suffered from similar things, to promote healing and wholeness. One thing we came up with was a list of different types of organizations and people who offer help or information. This is our list. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Don’t Leave Abusive Husband Ever?

by Michael Pearl from No Greater Joy - Abusive HusbandEditor's note: Today Michael adds his thoughts on abuse and leaving. Not any better than his wife's unfortunately. Trigger warning: This might make you sick to your stomach. Don't say I didn't warn you.  This type of advice is harmful to implement in an abusive marriage and is likely to encourage additional abuse. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: The Ray Rice NFL Scandal Is A Good Opportunity To ‘Spread The Gospel’?

by Voddie Baucham from his Facebook statusesFor those of you who don't follow the news or football or NFL let's summarize this: Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens NFL team, beat his then fiancee and was suspended for a couple of games until the website TMZ posted the video of the incident. In the video Rice hits his fiancee so hard she's knocked unconscious in a hotel elevator before he drags her out of frame. After the NFL was chided for their slap on the wrist of Rice they then suspended him indefinitely and the Baltimore Ravens team cut him from their team. … [Read more...]