It’s Not That Complicated: Part 2 Chapter 7

by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids CollideAll quotes from the book in blue textIn the first post from this chapter, we discussed the theological problems with Emotional Purity (now known as Emo-Pur).  This post wades through the Botkin's practical ideas for dealing with guy-girl relationships.The first list that the Botkin Sisters gives in the chapter is a list of signs that your heart is getting ahead of where you should be in a relationship. … [Read more...]

It’s Not That Complicated: Part 1 Chapter 7

by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids CollideQuotes from the book appear in blue text.Chapter 7 is titled "The Heart: Victim or Perpetrator - Getting Your Heart to Follow You".This chapter crystallizes a market-share problem that the Botkin Family hasn't quite solved yet.  The number of people who are willing and able to buy a Christian Patriarchy book is a set, limited market. To get the best returns on the investment in the book, the Botkins need to attract as many sub-divisions of the Christian Patriarchy, Quiverfull and Christian Homeschooling groups as possible.  The Botkin Sisters' first book "So Much More" was published in 2005 … [Read more...]

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How Far is Too Far?

Another installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical,  rational and the best possible solution, in other words 1 … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Daughters Intimidating Suitors?

by Jenn Wilkin at her blog the beginning of wisdom - on daughters and dating: how to intimidate suitorsHere’s the problem with shotgun jokes and applications posted on the fridge: to anyone paying attention, they announce that you fully expect your daughter to have poor judgment. Be assured that your daughter is paying attention.  And don’t be shocked if she meets your expectation. You might want to worry less about terrorizing or retro-fitting prospective suitors and worry more about preparing your daughter to choose wisely. And that means building a wall.Instead of intimidating all your daughter’s potential suitors, raise a daughter who intimidates them just fine on her own. Because … [Read more...]

Daughter of the Patriarchy: Stuart of the Lovely Locks

 This is an installment of the Daughter of the Patriarchy series. Read the rest here.A couple of days after moving onto campus, Molly informed me that she was expecting a visitor. He was a friend from her Dungeons and Dragons group, coming by to pick up one of his books from their last game. Molly called him “Stuart of the Lovely Locks.”I turned around. “What?”“He has long hair,” she explained. “And it’s gorgeous. I just want to pet his hair all the time.”Of all the weird bonding moments. “I like long hair on guys,” I said shyly, and buried my face in a book. A sequence of long-haired men danced through my brain. I imagined the hair cascading down to his waist, li … [Read more...]

Hey Christian Girl!

Last night someone pointed NLQ to this great Tumblr account - Hey Christian Girl. If cheesy Christian-speak pickup lines trigger you then I would not visit the link. It's funny and it's sad at the same time because I can so hear these things coming out of the mouths of various young Christian guys I've known in the past.NLQ Recommended Reading ...'Breaking Their Will: Shedding Light on Religious Child Maltreatment' by Janet Heimlich‘Quivering Daughters‘ by Hillary McFarland‘Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement‘ by Kathryn Joyce<A HREF="h … [Read more...]

Pornography and the Fundy

by Calulu(Warning, possibly triggering and some of the links are of the not safe for work variety.)Recently I started thinking about pornography. Not that I was partaking it in, it's never done anything for me. I might as well be looking at a pile of rutabagas or dirty socks. It is what it is, but it never did much to make me experience sexual feelings of excitement. But then again, I did grow up in New Orleans, with its capacious amounts of ever present sex shops, hookers, strip clubs and just general debauchery. I was jaded about such things by the age of eighteen and have never viewed them as erotic in any way.Plus I understand the Feminist views on pornography objectifying … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

by CaluluSo when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn't come home.What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his office to transfer all his paper documents into digital on his new computer system. I don't want to do it but it's a little slow that spring in my job so I grit my teeth, bite my tongue and start going into his office for four hours every morning. I know this is a mistake but hey, there's not much going on to prevent me and Tom isn't going to be there at the same time as me, win-win. I'm such a sap. Plus I'd quit working at the … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 6: Talk of Transition

This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Even though we had hoped that it would be enough for my spouse to simply be more authentic to his feminine self, it seemed that the idea of transition was coming up more and more. My spouse talked about how frustrating it was to have this battle raging in his head every single day, his brain telling him again and again that he was really a woman. He told me how the idea of becoming an old man terrified him. It was bad enough being trapped in the body of a young man, but to be old and helpless and cared for by people who would treat him as a guy was dreadful to him. Sometimes he cried, all … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 1: A Secret Revealed

by Permission to LiveThis post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.As many of you know, my spouse and I got married young after a short parent-supervised courtship. We began our marriage “the right way” according to everything we believed. We had obeyed our parents and stayed pure from emotional relationships or sexual activity, so when we got married neither of us had ever been intimate with any other person. We were wholeheartedly committed to our Christian beliefs at that time, feeling certain that birth control was wrong in almost any circumstance and that men should be the family leaders and women should be submissive. My hus … [Read more...]