Quoting Quiverfull: Winning Your Father’s Heart?

by Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin from Visionary Daughters - "Visionary Daughters Interviewed" We see a particular need for girls to build better relationships with their fathers, as the effects of this relationship spill over into so many other areas of their lives — they way they view God, the way they relate to men, the way they view themselves, … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 6

by MillipedeI hated the the underlying spirit which had crept into our marriage; it was a peevish, disapproving air that my husband had taken on. In our "heathen" days my husband had a happy go lucky air. This was endearing and made up for the fact that he could be irresponsible.Under Christian patriarchy this changed. Not only was he now "head of the household", but he was responsible for making sure that we lived a "Godly life". This permeated every bit of our life as we didn't want to be "Sunday Only" Christians; God was not someone that we turned our back on for the other six days of the week.This affected how I dressed, what we ate, what entertainment we watched or listened … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 5

by Millipede Peevish men, wives who watched every word and worse they really embraced the submission beliefs. The wives would gripe very rarely about their husbands and the work and if they did they were sure to say that they weren't in disagreement with the system, ,merely letting off a little steam.The women were just as much true believers. This isn't as I first thought/hoped in that Patriarchy can be a humane system for women. Instead I realized that there will always be those who for varying reasons, become ardent followers of movements which harm them. There are women who will accept or even come to love degradation if it comes approval and "love". Look at people in … [Read more...]

Millipede: Part 4

by MillipedeAlthough the "dress code" was the most glaring example of our changing mindset.There were other changes which were just as bad if not worse in the long run.My husband started to implement "order in the home". Although not as extreme as the other men, he considered himself the head of the household. Sure, I could argue, but if he stuck to his guns on something, I was expected to follow. I could be stubborn, but there were plenty of things that I gave way. Dressing in skirts out in public wasn't the only one. Staying at home, I let him control the finances. Sure, I could give advice, nag and so on, but in the end, he decided all things. A lot of things happened that in … [Read more...]

Thirtyone – Adventures in Recovery

by CaluluI was driving around the other day running a few errands and when I got back to my car I caught the tail end of a some random preacher speaking about the proper role of women in The Kingdom on local Christian radio. I didn't catch his name or the name of his ministry or sponsor but his message was loud and clear and made my blood boil. Bulls eye. Trigger hit. Buttons pushed.He started off speaking on the subject of what his ten year old daughter wanted to be when she grew up. She's crazy for gymnastics and he asked her that question about the future we all contemplate, what did she want to be when she grew up. Her answer to that question was that she would be a gymnastics … [Read more...]

Divorce as Salvation

By SierraGrowing up fundamentalist, I heard endless tirades about the importance of having a set of heterosexual parents. My mother was to be my example of submission, selflessness and homemaking. My father was to be my protector, modeling the role of my future husband. I’ll say more about some of the problems with this model in a future post.I was taught that children needed both a feminine and a masculine parental figure, that the traits of each would “balance” us somehow (even though I was expected to grow up 100% feminine). The worst possible sin against one’s children was to entertain the thought of divorcing one’s spouse.When I was 13, my parents divorced. It was awesome. … [Read more...]

The Formula Problem: Why Duggarizing Your Marriage is Not Recommended

by Incongruous CircumspectionBaking is one of my favorite pastimes.  I make a killer banana bread. I love baking cookies and many times, like Marie Barone, bake a cake just because.  I follow recipes very closely but always add vanilla even if it is not called for.  I can follow those recipes to the letter for one simple reason - I live 900 feet above sea level.Those who live 2500 feet above sea level cannot enjoy the ease of baking I take for granted.  When a recipe calls for a certain amount of flour, they have to add a bit more of the liquid ingredients.  If baking powder is needed, the elevated baker must reduce the amount by as much as half.  Baking temperatures must be increa … [Read more...]

The 14 Basic Needs of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar

 by Hopewell Recently  on “19 Kids and Counting,” Michelle Duggar was seen giving women a handout on the “7 Basic Needs of a Husband,” a document produced and distributed by the Advanced Training Institute –the Duggar’s “homeschool group.” She also gave out the group's “Character Qualities” chart, which I discussed in an earlier post, The 49 Character Qualities of the Duggars.The 14 Basic Needs of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar: How they meet each other’s 7 Basic Needs:7 Basic Needs of a Husband:A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive: Obviously, Jim-Bob picked the right wife! Michelle has been there with him, supportive to the max, thru years of small businesses, … [Read more...]

To My Shame … I think I might understand Hillary Adam’s mother

Major trigger warning for all former QF moms who read here at NLQ - :(by VyckieOkay - I told myself not to watch that Judge Adams video, cuz I knew it would be triggering - but I followed the link posted by an NLQ forum member to Pandagon, read the article - and then played the video. God help me.All I could think was - what ever must Hillary's mom have been thinking? And the horrible thing about it is that I could guess what must've been going through her mind when she actively participated in the beating of her daughter.I can remember many occasions in which my ex-husbands's abuse of the children was so intolerable - I would actually jump in and take over because I knew … [Read more...]

Me? Obey Him?

A review of "Me? Obey Him?" by Elizabeth Rice Handford. Trigger warning for former Quiverfull believers who actually read this book and tried to live according to the principles ... this post is a disturbing trip down memory lane.by Vyckie GarrisonThose fortunate enough to have never actually read "Me? Obey Him?" may be shocked and appalled by the teachings in support of "biblical patriarchy."  This review is simply quotations of Handford's own words (in italics), followed by comments from my personal experience as a former Quiverfull Believer.God's Perfect Creation Required OrderJesus, the Creator of Heaven and earth, submitted Himself to God the Father.  He took His place in … [Read more...]