Positive Affirmations and Manifesting

by AJ cross posted from her blog I am PhoenixLife has changed so much for me the last several months. I honestly am still pinching myself. I got myself out of a living situation that was not conducive to healing, as well as a location that was physically not the best for my health. I'm living in Florida now, which has been my dream for quite some time... I'm finally free of the cold NY and PA winters. I'm surrounded by a totally new set of people... no one in my life now knew me before, and no one from my past contacts me now except two sisters. There is a possibility that I can work again in the future, get my career back. My physical health has been coming back to me faster than I im … [Read more...]

Maybe The System, Itself, Is The Problem…

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalI came across this quote today and I couldn't help but think of the 'church' system I've encountered: "Life is full of examples of systems that work. When you find yourself in a situation where you can't make headway towards solving a problem, consider whether you're addressing the problem at its origin... What part of the system isn't working? ...Too often we see a bad result and we mistake it for the problem. The result may be just a byproduct of a system that's not functioning, a flashing error warning to let you know that something has to change." - Henry Cloud … [Read more...]

Part 4 – The Map is Not the Territory: Adventures in Abiguity

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images in the piece by Cindy Kunsman and used with permission. And the territory is definitely not the map.   This saying came from a scientist and philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who launched the study of how human understanding and the nervous system intersected, particularly concerning how language shapes our perceptions. He was a Polish-born Russian who served in World War I as an intelligence officer, but he became a citizen of the U.S. In 1940.The original phrase that Korzybski coined in 1933 illustrates the problem of mistaking an abstraction of something for the genuine article. Another wise f … [Read more...]

Open Thread – Reclaiming Life Post Quiverfull?

Are there things you used to do before you joined the Quiverfull or Evangelical Movement that you've reclaimed after leaving? Or perhaps something you loved to do while you were a Fundamentalist that after leaving the very idea of makes you gag until you heal enough to realize you're still going to do that thing you love? … [Read more...]

The Value of Shame

by Samantha Field cross posted from her blog Samantha P Field.comI have … unusual hair. At one point when I was a child, it was so long I could sit on it, but it wasn’t just the length that made it stand out. It was also full, thick, voluminous– or as my partner likes to call it, “robust.” I have thick, wavy hair and I have a lot of it. It was also fairly healthy, so, as long as it was, it kept its body all the way to the ends. Honestly, it didn’t even look real. … [Read more...]

Three Years In

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha Williams(Editor's Note: Kaleesha is talking about her journey three years post-fundamentalism. There is hope of having a full life after leaving toxic faith.)Yesterday marks the third anniversary of the day I laid aside the Bible, having found the answers to the last of my questions about the god within its pages. My conclusion after years of study and devotion? The Bible was written by men who inspired by their ideas of things bigger than themselves, men who were grasping at significance in the majesty of space and time.And that’s okay. We’re all doing that, in a way. It’s part of this journey, … [Read more...]

Blame it on the Smurfs – Post-Tramatic Church Syndrome

by Suzanne TitkemeyerWhen I first cracked open my copy of Reba Riley's book, Post-Tramatic Church Syndrome I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I figured it might be much like many of the series we feature here on No Longer Quivering: Girl/boy is immersed in a Quiverfull/Fundamentalist/Evangelical church and leaves for a long laundry list of reasons with a heavy burden of spiritual abuse and a heaping helping of depression only to be heckled/harassed/hounded by those well-meaning 'Good Christians' left behind. Usually the woman/man has a long road of healing with lots of twists, turns and tears before coming to a place that works on all levels for them. A sadder but wiser person. … [Read more...]

Like A Hero

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsDonald Miller has a post at Storyline (storylineblog.com) that stunned me in its accuracy in describing my former pastor.  The title of the post is How Do So Many Good People Get Away With Bad Things?  As my husband and I read through the post together last night, we agreed that no other writer has so precisely captured the characteristics that surrounded our experience. … [Read more...]

The Mary Crawfords of This World

by Nora Woodhouse cross posted from her blog A Heart Like MineEditor's note: The Mary Crawford that Nora is discussing in her blog is a character from Jane Austen's novel "Mansfield Park" An explanation of the character of Mary Crawford and quotes by Mary for those unfamiliar with the writings of  Jane Austen. An important part of recovery after leaving the world of QF to be able to recognize the toxic people in your path. … [Read more...]

Cry Baby

by Kaleesha Williams cross posted from her blog The Lost (and Found) Mind of Kaleesha WilliamsWho are you crying for? Me. I weep for myself, for the me that was.  Part of the grief process, I suppose.  The stark contrast between my life now and the life I was living two years ago continues to jump out at me at occasionally and I end up in tears.  The scars are all there… … [Read more...]