Trusting a Therapist in Stage One of Healing

by Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog Under Much GraceAll images by Cindy Kunsman from Under Much Grace and used with permission My husband and I once took in a few feral kittens. He says that it took three years before they would let him touch them. I saw this meme today and thought of the good therapists and the not so good ones that I've seen. It is no easy job to develop trust with a feral cat, and in many ways, I think that traumatized people have much in common with them.  We have forgotten how to trust, and we need someone with great patience to help us remember and learn if we ever knew how to have healthy trust to being with. … [Read more...]

Survivors Guilt

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground originally posted June 2013Daily I tremble in memory of friends left behind. As a Daughter of Patriarchy and fundamentalism, I am left to remember all the faces of those who didn’t make it out. I suffer from survivors guilt.  I don’t suffer from the spiritual abuse so much. I can accept that I will always be a foreigner in my own land. But gosh I hurt that so many friends have been left behind.This happened two days ago when I thought about my best friend from childhood (particularly high school), and I remembered that I was not invited to her wedding (she invited everyone else in childhood). It hurts not just that my friend rej … [Read more...]

Journal Entry, April 1, 2010

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsIf you’ve ever wondered what goes on inside the head of a person who is mired in spiritual abuse, this is an example. It is an entry from the journal that I would take to church and write in during services. This entry is from Maundy Thursday, April 1, 2010. I sat in the very back pew and observed the service. I could not participate. As you will see, I was convinced that God had completely rejected me because of the way the leadership had been treating me for about a decade. This journal entry documents the level to which spiritual abuse had taken me. As the leaders and congregation moved through the service, this is what I wrote: … [Read more...]

Update to Fundraiser

by Angel - Vyckie Garrison's eldest daughter Yesterday, I was hyper-aware of all the ways I live that I have my mom to thank for. As I pass another car, I hear my mom reminding me should see both headlights of the vehicle in my rear view mirror before I pull into their lane. I heard the old song, "Flowers on the Wall", … [Read more...]

So I Was Spiritually Abused, What Next?: Bible Verses Atheists Love

by NLQ Founder Vyckie GarrisonValerie Tarico recently asked me to pick a bible verse that I actually like for this article, "Bible Verses That Atheists Love" which she wrote for AlterNet. I'm honored to be included with a bunch of awesome fellow skeptics; many of whom also chose Ecclesiastes (✿◠‿◠)My response was too long and had to be edited for the article. For my friends, here's the unedited version:And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. --Ecclesiastes 3:13 … [Read more...]