Sea Legs

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsFor the first several weeks after we were tossed out of our church I felt like I still had sea legs.  I had learned over the years to walk somewhat steadily – or at least with a great deal of familiarity – as the wind and waves of spiritual abuse crashed over and around me.  Though I found myself on solid ground, my body, mind, and spirit continued for a time to lurch and sway as though I were still on board that hulking monstrosity of a church from whence my spiritually abusive treatment had pounded unabatedly. … [Read more...]

When Abuse Leads to Cynicism

Watchtheshepherd

by Virginia Knowles cross posted from her blog Watch The ShepherdDo you know anyone whose faith has been turned upside down into cynicism because of hypocrisy or abuse within a church or a family?I do. I've lost count of those I know personally, and I have read about far more who have walked away from the Christian faith or at least wandered to the outer fringe of fellowshipI have been researching abuse and authority issues in families, churches, and religious movements for over seven years. … [Read more...]

Psalm 22

mari

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why  are  You  so far from helping Me, And  from the words of My groaning? O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent. ~Psalm 22:1-2 Not long ago, whenever I read a mournful psalm, such as this one, I would be reminded of all the times that I felt like even God had turned away from me. … [Read more...]

People Who Matter

Image from Mari's Muses

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses “Be who you are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss You find out (in a hurry!) who really matters and who really doesn’t when you decide it’s time to stop being what other people think you should be and start being you. Figuring out who matters and who doesn’t is so freeing. Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend about realizing — just yesterday! — that I had been living for several months in a place where nobody cares. … [Read more...]

Who Has the Power in Your [Former] Church?

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsI know a man who once worked for a major Christian Publisher. He had gone to their school to train as a missionary, but when it was almost time for he and his wife to leave for the mission field, the leadership requested that he stay and teach in the school. … [Read more...]

Rejected But Free! (What Price Acceptance?)

Image from Living Liminal

by Living Liminal cross posted from her blog Living LiminalAs anyone who's visited my Facebook Page could tell you, I read a lot of blogs. That's who I am. I read, I ponder, I process. A lot. It's how I'm made. (Apparently, some people believe "thinking too much" is a sin - but that's another story...)Anyway I recently came across a post by Andy Gill entitled Escaping Evangelicalism. But it was the subtitle that caught my eye, "The Process of Healing from Spiritual and Theological Abuse".In it, he talks about his struggle to fit in: … [Read more...]

If It Was So Bad, Why Did You Stay?

Image from When Church  Hurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsOnce in a while, I get this question. It’s not so different from years ago when I asked my mother the same thing.My father died of colon cancer when I was three years old. My mother rarely spoke of him except to say that his death was the best thing that could have happened to us – his four children. Back in those days, you didn’t challenge or question adults, so I would listen to her comment and wonder what she meant. Was it because he was so ill or so maimed by his disease (he lost most of his intestines and wore a colostomy bag) that it would have been difficult for us? That was my assumption.Then, when I was about twenty yea … [Read more...]

Day 20 of 21 Days of Healing: What About God?

Image from When Church  Hurts

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church Hurts“God made you in His image.”Day 20You may have noticed that I haven’t spent much time on God over these 21 days except for the brain changing thoughts that I hope you have been repeating to yourself several times a day through the month. If you stuck with it, you will probably notice a change in how you think about what God thinks of you. Please don’t stop once our 21 Days are over. … [Read more...]

Why I Don’t Need a Man (And Some Things I Do Need)

CC Image by Mari's Muses

by Mari cross posted from her blog Mari's Muses(Editor's note: Stay warm, Mari! ...and everyone else out there since much of the country is under a polar vortex)I’ve been working a lot the past few weeks.Why yes, I love my job. Thanks for asking.Getting to and from work is the most difficult part of my job — because I live about 30 minutes from work (26 miles with nothing but fields to look at), and sometimes, I work until late and then I have to go back to work early the next morning. … [Read more...]

It Was a Friday

Ellen

by Ellen cross posted from her blog When Church HurtsOne year ago. It was a Friday. Last year it was the last day of school before we were to go on Christmas break. This year, while today is a Friday, we will have school for two days next week. So, it’s not quite the same. Yet today is much like that Friday one year ago.On that day, my husband was trying to set up a meeting with church leadership to discuss the spiritually abusive treatment I had received for over a decade and the leadership’s angry response when they found out that I had broken their mandate to keep quiet about what they had done to me all of those years. … [Read more...]


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