by Libby Anne Nine young adults who were raised in families involved in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements have come together here to answer questions about their upbringing, their questioning, and their transition to lives in the normal world. Ranging in age from their early twenties to their early thirties, all have questioned and [...]
by Millipede
Eventually, the church building materialized. At first, we had a larger group. Soon however, there was a falling out with a group which had comprised most of those from the Patriot group. Part of it was personality and some of it was viewpoint. Some wanted to the place to be a patriot type meeting house while some wanted it to be a church. This belied a rift that plays itself over again and again in this end of the spectrum.
On one hand there are what I would call the “political types”. This is simply for lack of a better term and is not indicative of a lack of Faith. People within this group were most often led into church via ideological means. Their religious views are part of a larger concert of views. I heard a pastor bemoan such people, saying that they simply added Christ onto a long chain of train cars of belief. One car might be their position on gun control, another states’ rights and so on. With the “religious question” answered they move on to continue to build the train. He stated that they needed to make Christ the locomotive, not merely regulate Him along a set of beliefs.
On the other hand you have those for whom Faith is the primary motivation. They often come from a strong Fundamentalist background. Not from in a distant childhood past either, but often having recently come from various conservative churches. for these folks, ideological issues are important, but they are subordinate to questions of faith.
by Millipede
(Editor’s Note: Millipede has been recounting her history of how she came to join a patriarchal lifestyle on our forum starting about six months ago. She’s graciously agreed to allow her writing to be reposted here. We thank her for that!)
To tell it in a nutshell; my husband and I became part of a reactionary milieu, joining a “movement” which addressed various issues such as gun rights, survival ism and so on. I still hold my beliefs pertaining to these issues and so this is not an indictment of “right wing extremism”. In fact those early years were wonderful and I would gladly join such a group.
I was not new to such views. Years before I even met my husband, I had been active in various causes. In the intervening years I had become inactive and so when my when my husband and I started exploring various issues I felt joy at becoming politically active again.
I am giving background, not getting up on a soap box.
Anyway, the road to patriarchy was at first slow. Even in right wing “extremist” circles there is quite a diversity of beliefs concerning patriarchy. Also, there are some who may on the surface appear to endorse patriarchal belief systems, but are actually pretty mild if not “enlightened” in their views and treatment of women. There are even some who could be called feminists. Again certain causes attract all sorts of people. It was sort of our version of the “popular front” so to speak.
by Incongruous Circumspection
Baking is one of my favorite pastimes. I make a killer banana bread. I love baking cookies and many times, like Marie Barone, bake a cake just because. I follow recipes very closely but always add vanilla even if it is not called for. I can follow those recipes to the letter for one simple reason – I live 900 feet above sea level.
Those who live 2500 feet above sea level cannot enjoy the ease of baking I take for granted. When a recipe calls for a certain amount of flour, they have to add a bit more of the liquid ingredients. If baking powder is needed, the elevated baker must reduce the amount by as much as half. Baking temperatures must be increased. And it isn’t as easy as following specific directions for a perfect cake either. In order to find the perfect balance of everything, copious testing and many failures must ensue. But, just as the elevated baker is finding the correct balance, a thunderstorm hits and their angel food cake comes out of the oven in the shape of a discus.
Such is life in the baking world and such is the idea behind marriage. What works for one couple will not necessarily work for another couple.
Everyone in the world is familiar with JimBob and Michelle Duggar. They are all over television with their TLC program, as well as having been on numerous talk shows and the subject of many a news story. They tow the line of an organization called Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) and their home schooling program Advanced Training Institute (ATI).
IBLP/ATI is run by a chronically unmarried man named Bill Gothard with a storied past, full of scandals. This gentleman has propped himself up as an expert on marriage and everything to do with family life. He is quite the guru with millions of direct and indirect adherents to his ideas. Yes…ideas. Bill Gothard has seven steps to this, fourteen steps to that, twelve steps to everything except alcoholism, three steps to whatever else. The material he puts out is so formulaic, a follower of his has nothing to do but reference any of his hundreds of manuals for any question in life.
As was put forth in ATI material that Michelle Duggar handed out to women at a conference she was speaking at, the formula for marriage is very simple. The wife must worship her husband at every turn in life. She must stand behind him in all his decisions and respect his leadership. She must look at him lovingly whenever he speaks and not interrupt. She cannot argue with him or disagree unless she follows a formula to make a “godly” appeal. All financial decisions are his. All final decisions are his. Her husbands vision must be her vision and absolute unquestioning trust and faith must be placed in the man she married.
This seems to work well for JimBob and Michelle Duggar. JimBob appears to be an ambitious man and has started numerous businesses. Currently, he is successful at real estate, not to mention the large amounts of money involved in any television show. Trusting a man to make good decisions is very easy when that man works hard, efficiently, smart, and enough to more than enough money is rolling in.
The problem is that two people living together is never a cookie-cutter situation. JimBob and Michelle Duggar, as well as all adherents of IBLP/ATI practices, have a favorite line that you will hear whenever they give public interviews or are backed into a corner, defending their ancient and outdated belief system.
“This is simply our conviction.”
No it isn’t. If you dig into the reality of IBLP/ATI/Duggar, you will see what they portray as their conviction is really much more. They posit that, due to their convictions, they have been blessed by God. The obvious conclusion is that if others do not have the same convictions, then God is obligated not to bless them. Thus, the “simply our conviction” line is really a translucent lie.
by Hopewell
Recently on “19 Kids and Counting,” Michelle Duggar was seen giving women a handout on the “7 Basic Needs of a Husband,” a document produced and distributed by the Advanced Training Institute –the Duggar’s “homeschool group.” She also gave out the group’s “Character Qualities” chart, which I discussed in an earlier post, The 49 Character Qualities of the Duggars.
The 14 Basic Needs of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar: How they meet each other’s 7 Basic Needs:
7 Basic Needs of a Husband:
Today Michelle is beside Jim-Bob at every possible moment—even on the Santorum Campaign trail when possible. While she has Grandma Duggar and the big girls to take up much of the day-to-day running of the family, caring for Jim-Bob is her responsibility and she obviously takes it seriously. Her rapt attention when he is speaking shows her love for him.
Vyckie Garrison started No Longer Quivering to tell the story of her “escape” from the Quiverfull movement.
Over time, NLQ has developed into a valuable resource of information regarding the deceptions and dangers of the Quiverfull philosophy and lifestyle. Several more former QF adherents are now contributing their stories to NLQ and our collective voice makes these Quiverfull warnings impossible to dismiss or ignore.
NLQ is a gathering place for women escaping and recovering from spiritual abuse.
Listen to Vyckie's Story now:
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