Two Messages That Children Internalize That Contribute To Bullying In Patriarchal Church and Homeschool Groups

by Sarah Henderson cross posted from her blog Feminist in Spite of ThemHomeschooled children sometimes experience bullying from peers. Part of this stems from the messages that children absorb about themselves.1. Children respond to the tiered authority by owning the message that they are the not as good as other people and exist to serve people who appear to be more powerful than they are;2. Children respond to the opposite message that they are the best and brightest and most privileged and enact that power on others.  … [Read more...]

Homeschool Sex Machine by Matthew Pierce

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open Ground I recently read Homeschool Sex Machine: Babies, Bible Quiz, and the Clinton Years. Written by Matthew Pierce, a homeschool alumni who is preparing to homeschool his own children, this short book is one man’s memory of the more insaner aspects of the conservative Christian homeschool movement. When Matthew first emailed me about his book, I knew this was a book I should read. I am glad I did. Homeschool Sex Machine is short, well-written, and funny. I say funny. Some of the remarks Matthew heard from the adults in the homeschool or fundamentalist Christian is not really funny. But Matthew managed to pull it off where I could laugh at … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: Put Sex Ed Back In The Home, Not The School

by an unidentified someone at Ladies Against Feminism as "Putting Sex Back in  Sex Education, Home Education" after author read a Camille Paglia article about fixing sex ed in the public schools originally published in Time Magazine. The great comedy of this all is that the LAF gals have agreed with the ideas of a *gasp!* lesbian! Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't LAF rant against homosexuality in all its forms usually? Most confused here.What Camille actually said: … [Read more...]

The World is “Dark, Selfish, and Cruel.”

by Lana Hope cross posted from her blog Wide Open GroundI watch Tangled on TV at McDonalds this afternoon. I was supposed to be reading Paul Ricoeur (I had it on the table), but this is the time in the semester when I already have term papers semi-planned out, when our grad seminars are almost finished (they finish April 2nd), and when one more book is just not important enough to study with detail. (In case any professors see this, I am reading the book; but my brain is on overload, and I’m not going through and making 50 pages of notes on it like I normally do.) … [Read more...]

Baptist Taliban: Part 3

by Cindy FosterTHE CHURCH WE WEREThe Preacher and his wife graduated from Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri. At the time he attended there, the college was quite conservative. There were strict rules about dress, dating, curfews, entertainment, music and much more.The Preacher actually grew up in Springfield and was a member of a church that was not nearly as rigid in its standards as the college was, so in the beginning of his ministry as pastor, he did not have the extreme beliefs that he eventually embraced later in his ministry.It was several years after the church had started and was established with its own building that the more relaxed climate began … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 6: The Fun Little Church

by Incongruous CircumspectionBill Gothard’s weekly marriage class was run by Pastor John Hartzell and his young protégé, Chuck Raichert in a little Independent Fundamental Baptist Church in Bloomington, Minnesota. Normandale Baptist was the name. The seminar was called Rebuilder’s and was all about loving Jesus Christ so much that your husband or wife simply rushed back into your arms and lived happily ever after. The only problem, it never worked that way. It merely created religious zombies with strict principles.Mama was one of these zombies. She would have hours of “conversation” with my dad over the phone. She never let him speak. You knew when he tried by the rise in the … [Read more...]

Who Was That Masked Man? Part 5

by CaluluSo when we left off Tina was still believing that Tom was coming home. We were having nothing to do with the Smiths and Tom doesn't come home.What he does do is go to my husband and ask him to talk to me about working a few mornings a week at his office to transfer all his paper documents into digital on his new computer system. I don't want to do it but it's a little slow that spring in my job so I grit my teeth, bite my tongue and start going into his office for four hours every morning. I know this is a mistake but hey, there's not much going on to prevent me and Tom isn't going to be there at the same time as me, win-win. I'm such a sap. Plus I'd quit working at the … [Read more...]

The World: (Not So) Evil and Dangerous!

by LatebloomerFrom hanging around with people such as Scott Lively in my fundamentalist Christian homeschooling community, I understood the danger that America was facing from the gay agenda. I believed that the gay lifestyle was depraved and corrupt and a sign of rebellion against God. I believed that God expected me to use political activism to stand up for righteousness and his design for the family. I believed that my "pro-family-values" activism was actually me being loving to the deceived people around me, people who were just taking the easy way out by accepting every type of lifestyle.Then one day I accidentally met a gay person.It was at my first real job, when I was 23 … [Read more...]

Unwrapping the Onion: Part 3: A Growing Up Story

by Permission to LiveBefore I go any further I just want to make it clear that my spouse has participated in the writing and editing of this series, and has given their full support and approval of it's publication.This post is part of a series of nine posts. Please click here to start with the series Introduction.Over the next number of months it seemed that we talked about transgender questions and issues constantly. My spouse had been unable to talk about this for so long and now it was like a floodgate had opened. He told me about how he had always felt different, that even as a small child he wished he could play with some of the girls’ toys and wondered why he couldn’t have … [Read more...]

Forming Boundaries Late in Life

by LatebloomerDo any of these sound like you?I have to always say yes to others, or else I am selfish. I have to always hide my hurt, or else I am unloving. I have to treat other people as faultless, or else I am holding a grudge. I have to keep my wants and needs to myself, or else I am a burden to others.People who experienced authoritarian parents tend to turn into adults with poor boundaries. They were trained for it their whole lives and can't imagine another way of doing things. However, it's an extremely unsatisfying and unsustainable way to live, don't you think? But most importantly, it's actually not what a loving person is like! For me, when I was in that mindset, … [Read more...]