True Love Doesn’t Wait

truelovewaits

by Rosie Franklin cross posted from her blog Disrupting Dinner PartiesTrigger warning- Christian virginity/purity culture throughout (which is absolutely not sarcasm as a trigger warning). __________________Also, I told you not to read this, Mom._______________ I talked a bit Tuesday about how I lost my virginity, in my post on rape culture. I sort of mentioned but didn’t go into detail about the fact that the loss of my virginity was somewhat emotionally unmooring for me, in addition to the manner in which I “lost” it being awful. So today I’m going to talk about what I was taught about sex and virginity. … [Read more...]

Josh Harris Reveals Childhood Abuse

harris

by CaluluYou remember Josh Harris, author of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and pastor of Maryland mega church Covenant Life Church?He's been in the news during the separation of Covenant Life Church and their denominational links to Sovereign Grace Ministries over the last year. … [Read more...]

Quoting Quiverfull: True Love?

Quoting

Josh Harris from his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" “‎True love isn't expressed in passionately whispered words an intimate kiss or a embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed … [Read more...]

Emotional Incest: The Bottom Line

by Sierra[Editors' note: At the time of writing, Libby Anne and Sierra were unaware of the controversy surrounding Hugo Schwyzer. The discussion of his critique of emotional incest is not an endorsement of Schwyzer by NLQ.]My last two posts, and indeed all my thinking on the subject has led me to some conclusions about the ways that Christian Patriarchy and purity culture enable and even celebrate emotional incest. The following are the cliff notes:Christian patriarchy turns marriage from a relationship to an institution, effectively reversing the historical trend from business partnerships and heir insurance to bonds between two free agents based on love. Evangelical culture … [Read more...]

The Destiny of a Virtuous Daughter ~ Part 3: Pop Guns & Purity Rings

by Starfury Growing up, I read books like The King's Daughter, Dear Princess, Beautiful Girlhood, Waiting for Her Isaac, and The Courtship of Sarah MacLean over and over. I would plan out having twenty six children, so I could use every letter of the alphabet when I named them. I would try to devise my own homeschool curriculum based on the ones I had used, and what I liked and didn't like about them. On top of all that, I was writing my own Proverbs 31 devotional.And yet, somewhere in all of this, I was still punching things into a "computer" on a tree, and yelling for everyone to get out and climb the Jeffries Tubes because of a warp core breach. Rather than make a hoop skirt, I made a … [Read more...]

"Taking Her Myself" A New Trend in Quiverfull Courtship/Betrothal

by Vyckie Garrison"Does God Hate Women?" author, Ophelia Benson recently shared a note which was posted on Reddit written by a young patriarch describing his "biblical marriage."  As Bible-believing Baptists who hold to reformed theology, X and I believe that God is sovereign in choosing who will or will not believe in him, having chosen his people before the foundation of the world (see Ephesians 1), and that his selection is unbreakable and irresistible. If marriage is to mirror this principle, we believe that a woman has no right to select a husband for herself, but that she is to be chosen by a man and marriage is to be an unbreakable arrangement between the man and her father. Based on … [Read more...]

The Destiny of a Virtuous Daughter ~ Part 2: My New Love

by StarfuryFor as much as my parents objected to many worldly things, they gave in on a surprising number of equally worldly things. Most notably, in my case, was the subject of ballet. I had always wanted to dance from a young age, and when I was 8, my parents finally agreed to let me begin to take classes. This was often something I was reminded to be grateful for--they weren't as conservative as other families, after all.In truth, I was grateful for it. I loved it with all my heart, and had great dreams of practicing hard and winding up as a prima ballerina for some famous worldwide touring company and performing all the famous ballets. There was only one problem with this idea... I … [Read more...]

When Promises Become Dreams: Doing Marriage God’s Way

by AfricaTurtleThe title of Sierra’s Post “When Dreams Become Promises” stirred thoughts in me of another Dream, of other Promises that have brought their own dose of pain and disappointment and reality into my life: Dreams of an enduring, godly marriage and the Promises I made to God and myself in order to lay hold of that dream.I made my first promise at the age of 14. “I promise to never date a non-christian”. It was the call to action given by a speaker at the summer church camp I attended that year.  I knew it was right, I knew it was what God expected of me. How can “light fellowship with darkness”?  Why would I build a life with someone I couldn’t hope to spend eternity in heaven w … [Read more...]

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 6: Life. Liberty. And the Pursuit of Happiness.

by KieryWhen we arrived, my boyfriend’s family and pastor took me in and became my adopted family. They ministered to me and loved me, and generally instilled the confidence in myself, in God, and in family that I had lost.When we announced the news of my engagement, my family started writing my pastor and generally trying to sabotage my wedding by not sending my dress or supporting me in any way. To give me my dress would the same as giving money to a homeless drunk in their eyes. My in-laws and my boyfriend paid for everything, and we used the church for free.It was a (perfect) small wedding. My grandparents came and I walked the aisle alone. I liked this because, it was me, making a … [Read more...]

Preparing a Visionary Daughter to Do Hard Things ~ Part 5: Waking Up

by KieryA failure, that’s what I was, a giant failure. I couldn’t be the daughter my parents wanted me to be. I had tasted freedom, and I felt like I deserved it. I couldn’t go back to being the second mom after being told I was an adult. Adults can’t take their children’s adulthood away, can they?The 6 months between the split and my 18th birthday were the darkest days of my life. I was horribly depressed, I hardly ate, I contemplated cutting and suicide on more than one occasion. Honestly, if it weren’t for the friends I had made before and my boyfriend’s pastor stepping up and reaching me when I cried for help, I don’t know where I would be. I was mad at God, mad at my parents, mad at … [Read more...]


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