A Family’s a Family No Matter How Non-Traditional

Melissa & Haley

by Vyckie Garrison While in Minneapolis this week, I went out for dinner with Joe Sands (Incongruous Circumspection) and his wife, Kristine Sands. It was a true pleasure to hang out with this fun couple - I ♥ awesome people. Yay! (✿◠‿◠) Also, while in Minneapolis, I had the privilege to spend most of a day with Melissa (Permission To Live) and her spouse, Haley. Having never personally known any transgender people, I will admit to being quite curious to meet Haley in person - and now that I know her, all I can say is, Wow - she rocks! What a delight to spend time in the company of an energetic, super smart, and truly happy, beautiful woman. If you have not read … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Questioning Q. 3

by Libby Anne (and friends) Cross posted from  Love, Joy, Feminism. Raised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning Summary Please be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences. What did you struggle with most when you were in the midst of questioning and/or leaving Christian Patriarchy/Quiverfull ideology? What was the hardest part? Joe: Hell.  I struggled with that for all of five minutes.  Then, it didn’t matter anymore.  There was no proof … [Read more...]

Raised Quiverfull: Questioning, Q. 2

by Libby Anne Raised Quiverfull Introduction — Questioning Summary Please be sure to click the above links to see an introduction to and explanation of this project, which involves a panel of nine young adults who were raised in Quiverfull families and have since questioned and left that ideology answering questions about their experiences.     What first made you question the beliefs you were raised with? Was this initial questioning a frightening or liberating experience? Joe: I can’t put a finger on one experience that made me question my beliefs.  When I mention my beliefs, I must say that I have rejected everything from quiverful and … [Read more...]

Snipped! Part 6: The Fun Little Church

by Incongruous Circumspection Bill Gothard’s weekly marriage class was run by Pastor John Hartzell and his young protégé, Chuck Raichert in a little Independent Fundamental Baptist Church in Bloomington, Minnesota. Normandale Baptist was the name. The seminar was called Rebuilder’s and was all about loving Jesus Christ so much that your husband or wife simply rushed back into your arms and lived happily ever after. The only problem, it never worked that way. It merely created religious zombies with strict principles. Mama was one of these zombies. She would have hours of “conversation” with my dad over the phone. She never let him speak. You knew when he tried by the … [Read more...]

Introducing, Raised Quiverfull!

raised

by Libby Anne Nine young adults who were raised in families involved in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements have come together here to answer questions about their upbringing, their questioning, and their transition to lives in the normal world. Ranging in age from their early twenties to their early thirties, all have questioned and left the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements and all but one blog against what they see as the destructive results of those movements. These nine young adults come from an array of backgrounds (no two families in the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements are identical) and have today arrived at a variety of perspectives … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 2a

by Incongruous Circumspection Make sure to familiarize yourself with the first Basic Need of a Husband, according to Bill Gothard - A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive. You can read my response to this nonsense here: Introduction Part 1a Part 1b: Women? Goals? Who are YOU Kidding?! Part 1c: Men are Fragile and Women are Manipulative Fools Part 1d: Husbands are Omniscient and Wives Must Give Sex Now, let's move on to the next Basic Need of a Husband. [#2. A man needs a wife who honors his leadership.] In my opinion, Bill is padding the numbers to get to God's "perfect number" of seven. Honoring the husband's leadership is only slightly different than the first … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part d – Husbands are Omniscient and Wives MUST Give Sex Husbands

by Incongruous Circumspection In Part 1c, we learned that men are so fragile, anything a woman does that is not exactly what the bloke is expecting will lead to his demise. Let's finish looking at the first basic need of a husband. ***** [Seek your husband’s advice first. A wife should demonstrate loyalty to her husband’s wishes, goals, and standards. Therefore, when a need arises, you should seek your husband’s guidance and counsel first, especially in regard to family issues, rather than seeking advice from other family members and friends.] When Kristine and I first met, I had swallowed this idea whole. I knew all the answers to life and, better yet, knew how to find them … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 1c Men are Fragile, Women are Manipulative Fools

by Incongruous Circumspection In Part 1b we listened in as Gothard tried valiantly to describe the differing outlooks on life that, according to his understanding, men and women exemplify. It needs mentioning again here that Bill is relying on no practical experience. He has never been married. It makes sense that, being he has propped himself up to be a guru in every area of life, and the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of worshipers at his feet, he would make vast, overarching, easily wrapped up in a square box and neatly tied with a silk bow, conclusions for very complex issues in life. One of those issues is human nature. It cannot be pidgeonholed, no matter how many verses … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Part 1a

by Incongruous Circumspection In the Introduction, we looked into the general idea that Bill Gothard is trying to get across in this series. He attempts to list seven basic needs of a husband and seven, also, of the wife. We discuss the flaw in this logic, which is, Bill treats life as if all men and women are exactly the same. Worse yet, Bill positions this series, as well as all of his "truth" in all of his materials, as the non-optional, unquestioned, standard for finding favor with God. Let's look at Bill's first "Basic Need" of a husband. Basic Need One: A man needs a wife who is loyal and supportive. At face value, this looks lame enough. What man wouldn't want a woman that … [Read more...]

Debunking the Fourteen Basic Needs of a Marriage: Introduction

by Incongruous Circumspection I will be quoting Bill Gothard's material in this text style and my response will be in the normal text:Bill Gothard has published a manual on how a wife should meet her husband's seven basic needs, as well as how a husband should meet his wife's.  As you'll see, the latter part, directed at the husband, is highly disingenuous because, according to Bill Gothard, a marriage relationship is skewed completely toward the man.  The wife is only a cheerleading, supposedly willing, party.As Bill is notorious for, he takes anything he can find in the Bible to support any point he dreams up, disregarding the context, the era, even the writer's style, etc., and … [Read more...]


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